How can a non social person become more outgoing?

Question

I spend alot of time alone in the past...so its hard for me to be social.. I dont have alot of people that i know who i can do things with or just talk to... How can I begin to re establish connections with people if i dont have any... Thanks for any advice

Answer 1

Practice.

Practice your social skills. Take baby steps. Go out to a bar (or wherever) and say hello (and smile!) to one person. Then you can leave. Next time, try some small talk. Baby steps.

Ask someone from work to a movie. That's great because you don't have to talk a lot. And it doesn't have to be a woman -- you can ask a guy to see a movie with you, especially if you know he likes the same kind of movies you like. How would you know? Small talk!

When you are feeling a little bit more social, join some sort of hobby group or take a class -- and make sure to SPEAK UP.

Try to be friendly, polite, smile a lot and don't be judgmental. Remember, people LOVE to talk about themselves, so ask them things like where they grew up, what kind of movies or books (or sports) they like, do they have pets, etc. And LISTEN to what they say!

You can't turn yourself into a social guy all at once. Take baby steps but put yourself OUT THERE.

Good luck!

Answer 2

I'm really in a similar situation as yourself. I've never really had friends. Most of the time I attribute that to the fact that I'm unattractive, but I think even if you are attractive and have some form of social anxiety, it becomes really difficult to make a connection with someone. Do you think you have some confidence issues? Perhaps you should speak to a psychologist about some of the inhibitions you have. Maybe they could become aware of what is causing you to feel so anxious. (I'm assuming you are anxious in social situations b/c you have problems connecting with people) I'm not a doctor by any stretch of the imagination, but I think that maybe if it is determined that you do in fact have some kind of social anxiety disorder, you could perhaps enter a support group where you could meet others like yourself and begin to learn how to break out of your current situation. I wish you the best. Feel feel to e-mail me if you like. - Joel

Answer 3

Start hanging out in bars. Drink, a lot if necessary. Before the internet chat room there was the corner pub or bar. You can pull up on a stool and strike up the talk with almost anyone. Cheers!

Answer 4

Just go out places that you like going to , to meet new people. At first you'll have to force yourself to start being social / start by talking about something that's going on at the moment or give a compeliment.

" you have to at first force yourself into being the person you want to be, until that's what you become"

Answer 5

You are not alone nor unique, seems that way to you, no?
Everyone has differential and special characteristics that make them what they are, know which are those that define you and offer them to those similary minded.
If there are none in your vecinity, look for them, if it's not a viable option, try to understand and relate to what other people are, ask them, find interest in their lives and activities, slowly show them who you are, then you'll find yourself not alone anymore. The process will make you feel more open and complete. Happiness follows.

Answer 6

Start with the people you have interactions with already. Mention the weather to the person who takes your coffee/lunch order. Begin conversations with people you find yourself near. Observe gregarious people in action.

If you look at becoming more sociable as a skillset you need to learn, then you can pick up and use the skills as you acquire them.

Answer 7

First of all, I believe that you have to find yourself. You have to know who you are. What kind of interest that you are drawn to. If you know who you are and what subject do you feel interested in, you may want to join a social group which consistent with your interest. It is easier if you find people who have the same interest and have conversation with. Start from that point and then expand your social skill to people who have different interests from you later.

Answer 8

push your self each day to make small talk with every person you come in contact with. even if its just 'how are you'

Answer 9

i wasnt that outgoing until i made a friend that was really outgoing and then i became more outgoing

Answer 10

my advice would be to become funny. because im naturally funny, its always easy for me to talk to anyone. watch comedy shows, and stuff like that i guess. if youre funny, people will like you. just dont be annoying.