your opinions would really be appreciated.
we've been together for 2 years now. we love each other, even though she doesn't trust me. she goes on and on that i will cheat on her. even though i promised her and i said how loyal i am to her. what do i do? i'm going crazy because of just that
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well, i haven't cheated on her. but she did been cheated over her past relationship. i really assured her and talk this one out. but every week or so, she would accuse me of having flirted with somebody else or i really like some girl and replace her with that. i really showed her that she's my one and only. but the re-occurrence of her accusations hurts me the most even with my efforts. i feel like my love for her is in vain :(
2007-05-23 16:16:17 · 24 answers · asked by Raven 3 in Travel ➔ Asia Pacific ➔ Philippines
sorry if my question sounded racial, i just wanted to know the answer from the people who knows best. us filipinos have traits that i didn't even know of, i just wanted to be sure, that's all
i'm really really sorry. and by the way. thanks for answering my question, all of you people are really great. i really need the help that i could get an i'm happy that you people here
2007-05-25 23:41:58 · update #1
am not sure if your a filipino but actually it doesn´t have anything to do with race, any women are like that because guys have this invisible banner in the head that ¨MEN ARE NATURALLY POLYGAMOUS¨ with few exceptions of course! ^^
in Philippines we have this saying ¨Ang pagsasabi ng tapat ay pagsasama ng maluwat¨ which means honesty is important for a good relationship, I guess it also applies to you in a way that trust is bound by honesty!
Just be there for your girlfriend and make her feel secured, if she doesn´t budge then tell her it´s over because if she doesn´t learn how to trust you how will she be able to completely love you!?
goodluck!
2007-05-24 13:37:07 · answer #1 · answered by bAbY_Gurl26^ 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It seems that your girlfriend may have experienced cheating in the past. She has probably seen it happen to herself, a friend or a family member. This is probably why she is worried that you will cheat on her.
Your girlfriend is feeling insecure about herself and the relationship. It would be best if you talk to her and tell her how you feel regarding her being over-jealous. Convince her that you are faithful to her and that you will never do anything to hurt her. Ask her to trust you because love has no place when there is no trust.
If after all the assurances you gave she still doesn't change, then I suggest you leave her.
2007-05-24 01:23:25 · answer #2 · answered by roche_leonor 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Really sorry to hear that.
I had very similar experience with one of my ex.
Relationships are based on trust. If there is no trust then there is no healthy relationship.
She will make your life a living misery. If you are doing absolutely everything to make her feel secure and she still gives you all that, then you may have to consider looking elsewhere. This person is very obviously insecure. This behaviour is very cunning, because she has control over you without you realising it. Your whole life becomes you proving yourself to her whilst she is being nothing a pain. This is very disfunctional and can't go on. She may carry on like that for a while and she may even leave you. Then you will be very upset because you put a lot of effort in trying to prove yourself.
She has issues she needs to address. You need to get out.
A nice way to do it is to finish it and not getting another girl for a while so she will see it. Then she may learn.
Then you look for a proper partner who will appreciate you.
2007-05-23 23:27:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
Obviously she's been hurt in the past by someone else.....that kind of hurt transcends all racial backgrounds. There's really nothing you can do except prove to her that you're not going to cheat. 2 years should've convinced her of that by now.....but a scorned filipina never forgets......
I know this is going to sound harsh but perhaps if she doesn't believe you after 2 years of you not cheating on her, then perhaps it's time for you to find someone else that does trust you and your actions.
Good luck!
2007-05-23 23:35:52 · answer #4 · answered by soccerref 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
just be sure she is the one if her english is real good she most likley has a boss that meens what you send her they get half of it internet here is 15 pesos per hour if they say 50 pesos per hr stay away from her she is after money i am here in the philippines now i am from the US and have been lied to about money and trust locked in a room and not aloud to leave her and so on just becarefull it does not take long for something to turn bad on you most girls are great here but if she is saying she does not trust you she most likey is doing some thing her self just be careful about meeting people over seas realy check in to it if you are not in mnl. then the US will not help
2007-05-25 03:38:20 · answer #5 · answered by douglas_berry 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sorry, I'm not filipina. But, I don't think race should matter in a relationship. Just because someone's a certain ethnicity doesn't mean they are all the same.
I'm sorry about your situation and it isn't fair she's accusing you of something you didn't do. I think if you love her and she doesn't trust you, you should prove your trustworthiness by being dependable and responsible. Just saying you'll be loyal doesn't prove it. Actions speak louder than words! Prove your love for her and show you'll be loyal by being loyal! It sounds like she's scared you'll do the same thing that the guy from her previous relationship did to her. Also, tell her that you're hurt by her accusations. Show her you're not like that. Good luck! :)
2007-05-23 23:23:50 · answer #6 · answered by Tigger_Gal 2 · 2⤊ 3⤋
The question should be against her instead. IS SHE THE ONE FLIRTING OR FOOLING AROUND WITH SOMEONE ELSE BEHIND YOUR BACK? With her past relationships and disloyalty with her ex's, she needs to move on & straighten up with a new life that she has with you and learn how to trust you. Yes! You do love eachother, but how much does she love you? Is she just using you for SECURITY? or just in need of someone to be there for her all the time? If she continues to not have faith in you, you might turn your feelings away one day. Sorry! But! She needs to grow up.
2007-05-24 07:32:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's alright if what you feel is true, but I'm saying that it would be very hard. I mean, if there is love, there must be trust to stabilize it, right? But, you girlfriend is different. Considering his past with men, I think there's no mistrust between you. She's just recovering from her - let's say, traumatic - experience. That would be hard, though, if there's doubt, but if what you say is true, showing her that you're really in to her, then it must have worked. If it didn't, then there must be something missing. You must be forgetting something that you must show her in order to calm her mind with men. Women are really difficult when they're in a state of emotional distress. But, I believe, that's the main key for a woman to know if his man is true. If that certain man would ease her pain, be on her side, & support her, then she will know that man is truly for her. So, hang in there. Because if you give up on her, then her feelings with men would stay permanently. This may be your chance to show her you really love her.
2007-05-24 02:15:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
What ever your reason that it must be a Filipino's advise is strange enough. There are many reasons she may not trust you, that has little to do with her past. How about, you may be playing games with her head, trying to make her feel jealous, when in fact there is nothing but you causing grief, making believe there is a certain situation which is completely made up. It will end up that she doesn't trust you, not because of your made up conspiracies but that you're capable of such manipulations. She may not trust your word as being the truths, in other words, peek-a-boo, she can see through you...
2007-05-23 23:29:55 · answer #9 · answered by lee f 5 · 1⤊ 3⤋
well if that's the case, for 2 years still she acts like that. i think she doesn't trust you. maybe she is in love with you but she can not give her trust fully for whatever happened in the past, is still in her mind. don't you think she is being unfair to you?
talk to her heart to heart. ask her what she really thinks of you. explain your side that you are being fair and you are not doing anything against her will. but still if she doesn't believe you then, she, herself is now the problem.
for your side, i guess you have to let go. imagine, you're doing what do you think is right but still it is nothing to her and she is always doubting you. not all men are the same. if she was cheated before, explain to her that you are different from the man she has been before.
past is past. both of you should think for the present and for the future...let bygones be bygones...
2007-05-24 01:20:23 · answer #10 · answered by rubi 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋