I am torn between my wife of nine years and a 27 year old lady I met in a bar. I have never cheated on my wife until I met this lady in the bar. The chemistry between us from the first time I laid eyes on her is unbelievable! We have kissed and fooled around but have not done the nasty. It has been going on for three weeks and I can't seem to break it off. I really do think I have feelings for this woman. My wife is great to me and is a very good to my 3 year old daughter. She is subpar in bed and has a low sex drive. She lives a rather plain life and I think I am in a major 7 year itch! That being said I am not sure I love my wife and am not attracted to her anymore. I need some advice. What to do??
2007-05-23 15:40:38 · 37 answers · asked by okrainmaker 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This shouldn't even be a question! Get rid of the bimbo ASAP and go home to your wife. Quit hanging around in bars - they're just watering holes for alcoholics and losers.
Invest time, love, and energy into your marriage and you may just see some changes in your wife's behavior. Your wife is your life partner. Be her best friend and lover. Tell her you want more closeness with her (and not just in the bed!). Take her on some dates - woo her. Spend some time talking with her and finding out her thoughts about things. Encourage her to develop some interests and activities, perhaps take some college classes. Do whatever it takes to revitalize your marriage.
Some years ago a male acquaintance of told me of all of his affairs he had had and then had the nerve to say his wife wasn't as good a wife as he would like! I thought that if he had spent as much time and effort on his marriage as he had on all of his affairs, he might have had a wonderful marriage.
2007-05-23 15:55:34 · answer #1 · answered by majormomma 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dude, you just want a reason to cheat!!! There is nothing wrong with your wife. I am really surprised that you have not done it already. BUT this woman in the bar is just a passing phase. If you should have sex with her, you will get caught. THEN you will realize that you do love your wife. You are just craving the adrenalin that you are getting off of this other woman right now. That wears off in time. Be a real man and leave this other woman alone. You can teach your wife how to be better in bed if you would take the effort. I bet she would say that you are subpar in bed to. You don't have feeling for this woman other woman.
2007-05-23 15:49:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Answer this. How would you feel if your wife cheated on you? I have been cheated on and it is the worst possible thing you could do to another human being. Do you hate your wife? You must if you are cheating on her. Think about how hurt she will be. Have you ever heard of the saying the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Well it isn't. You need to grow up, get away from this other woman, stay out of bars and start being a husband and a father. What if your daughter grows up, gets married and you find her husband in a bar cheating on her someday. How would that make you feel.
2007-05-23 15:51:27 · answer #3 · answered by Damian S 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Before this goes any further don't you agree you owe your wife more respect than this? If your not happy than talk to her, first try to work on what is wrong in the marriage. Just maybe if you put this much effort into your marriage as you are with the lady in the bar, it could be different. The grass isn't greener on the other side, with that being said do you want to throw away all the years you've invested with your wife? Be a man and step up to the plate and don't cause your wife any pain.
2007-05-23 15:47:50 · answer #4 · answered by Krinta 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's no such thing as a 7 year itch. You only say that because you've met somebody which you find attractive. Comparing your wife to somebody is for me a sign of disrespect. Remember the good things that you have done with your family and stop focusing on your wife's weaknesses. For just 3 weeks, I don't think you already fall for that lady. Marriage is a commitment and don't break it. You have to talk it over with your wife and try to compliment with each other. After all, nobody's perfect and you need to adjust every now and then. Life is so short and we have to live it to the fullest. Enjoy every moment with your family.
2007-05-24 01:31:02 · answer #5 · answered by ceburisingsun 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not necessarily owe your mother anything. Sure she did co-sign for the house, however, that does not give her the right to pretty much cause a drift in a marriage. This may sound bad, but you made the decision to get married and assumed the responsibility of 5 children so your "alliance" is with your wife and kids not your mother any more. When you were a child your "allegiance" was with your mother. Besides you've mentioned your mother is all these bad things, it may be time to cut her loose. It would be unfair for your children to experience some bad blood between two very important women in their lives. So, my advice is to let your mother know how things will go and if she tries to make you feel bad or makes a scene then show her the door.
2016-05-21 05:59:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't meet a *lady* in a bar, hon. You meet a barfly.
What you went for is a promise of sex, not even sex. You must be very frustrated sexually. You don't even know if she's any better than your wife in that regard. Sure everyone enjoys fooling around at the start. But then what? How do you know she won't be sick of you and your dick in 6 months?
If you are bored and frustrated with your wife - better leave with dignity, figure out what you really want and go from there.
2007-05-23 15:50:59 · answer #7 · answered by Everybody's Favorite 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The more people that read this the harder you are gonna get slammed. You know I dont condone cheating at all and what you are doing is cheating on the woman who loves you and takes care of you and you daughter. If you have all these questions and arent sure of how you feel you need to just stop. You need to figure out what and why you are doing what you are doing. Your wife doesnt deserve this and you know that. And when you realize what you need to do then move from there but don't play with these womens emotions end one or both. You need to make it soon to .
2007-05-23 15:50:17 · answer #8 · answered by lyttledarlin 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
After you read this, call your wife and tell her everything buddy. You loved her enough once to promise yourself to her forever. Do you remember that day or did your marriage mean nothing?
She is and always will be your best friend. That other woman is nothing. She is the test. The teat a higher being has sent to you to test your fidelity to your betrothed . Don't blow it dude! Have some spine! Be a REAL man. Don't go back to that bar. Tear up her #. Delete those file from your computer and start over with your wife. Talk to her. Let her know you're not satified in bed. She loves you and wants to please you. You're ruining your own marriage and trying to pin blame on her for being "subpar" in bed! What a cop-out dude! Grow some cajones! We men need to work together to save the sanctity of marriage. To turn this country around from its path to destruction. Family values buddy, FAMILY values.
2007-05-23 15:50:16 · answer #9 · answered by Gwynny 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You married her it is your job to try to fix this marriage by communicating with her. The grass always seems greener on the other side but usually it isn't. You already are having an affair on her physically and emotionally. You went up in front of an alter and said your vows in front of all the people you love and especially you said it in front of God. Now you are going to take those vows back because you found another woman? If things were to work out with you and this new woman who is to say that she will probably have a zilch sex drive after a few years.
2007-05-23 15:47:56 · answer #10 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋