Is a love for a child deeper than the love for a spouse ? Or are they totally different things ?

Question

haha thanks redneck!

thanks tiddle :)

Answer 1

This is a question that has plagued me for many years. I had a son...a brand new baby that died during birth. Then I had a daughter, who is well, happy and now 19. I also have a loving spouse.

When my son died, a part of me died with him. However, I have been able to move on in life and be quite happy. Not a day goes by that he doesn't cross my mind, though.

One day I was sitting at the train station near my home, watching a young girl talking on her cell, while her child was dangerously close to the yellow line. I got up and led him back to her. I was amazed at her lack of concern.

I thought at that very time - if my partner and my child were crossing the street and a bus was coming toward them, who would I push out of the way of danger first. My heart was torn when I realised that it would be my daughter.

It does not mean I do not love my partner. I simply realised that my mothering instinct would impel me to save my child before I saved my partner or even thought of the danger I would be putting myself in.

It is because of this that I feel the love of my partner is as deep, but totally different that my love of my child.

I could not bear losing another child.

Hope that helps.

Cheers!

Answer 2

I think Dave A. has really good imput. Also my parents were married almost 20 years when they divorced and slept in separate bedrooms for 8 years before my Pops finally gave up. My mom always acts like it's his fault but in reality it's both. She gave up on him and took the sex away. What did she thing was going to happen? Geeze. Anyway what I'm saying is your situation doesn't sound like my parents. But Dave is right. Once the sex stops it's either over or it's going to be rough and have to be worked through. I say don't give up on him if you love him. He's been your husband for 30 years and why waste it all. Try your heart out it's all you've got. If he's been such a good husband and father then he'll man up and do the same. If he really is not that happy I almost feel like saying if you truly love him then let him go. I think maybe it's a mid life crisis for him. I dunno make you and him need to take a little vaction somewhere. Go be with each other if it would be comfortable. If you feel like your in a rut try to steer out of it. Good luck.

Answer 3

Different, for sure.

I love both unconditionally, but I've found out a couple of things.

Once you have the child, your relationship to the spouse changes in that you still love the spouse, but in different ways. It is less sexual (though still sexual) and more for how that spouse lives up to the new challenges the child brings.

Also with this, you also see new faults in your spouse that were hidden before. So, your love is maybe a little more tempered than just being ga-ga over him/her.

The compensator to the loss of ga-ga toward the spouse is the child itself, because you are still ga-ga about the child. It's like, "I love my spouse more now because this child I love came from my spouse."

But, when it comes to parenting (an expression of love toward the child), you need to choose the spouse over the child on almost every issue. If there are disagreements on something, then talk about it, and agree to stick with the decision even if it is not your preference. If you don't, the child will divide and conquer you both. Your family will be fractured, and your love for both your spouse and child will greatly diminish.

Answer 4

The love for a child is different than the love for a spouse. My children always comes first in my life.

Answer 5

According to my mother, a love for a child is a different type of love because he or she has been in the mother's stomach for 9 months. Also, the love for a spouse is a sexual and is extremely different.

Answer 6

yes. they are totally different. the love for a child is deeper and the bond the mother and child experience is awesome. the mother nurtures the baby inside her womb for nine months. the pregnancy and giving birth to the child are herculian tasks for a woman. but once the child is born her love gets deeper than the love for a spouse. her whole life revolves around the baby.. she's obsessed with the child. she's proud of giving life to her child--- flesh and blood.

Answer 7

I'm sure you know they are totally different kinds of love, but I am sure the love for a child is way deeper than any love for anyone else, or anything on the planet. At least, that's how I feel.

Answer 8

The love for a spouse is different from the love of a child. It provides for intimate relationship between husband and wife along with a feeling of security because there is a climate of love. husband and wife are as one, always in union with one another. Husband and wife are close companions.

Together they resolve problems, make arrangements, provide needed love, training, and discipline for their children.

Love is the giving of ourselves.

Answer 9

ERIC-YOU HAVE SUCH A SEXY MIND, AND ASK GREAT QUESTIONS.
I think of this question often. I have no kids, so I have always thought if I did, and had to choose, I would choose my spouse. Thinking I could always have another child, of course depending on the my age. But the other side is-children are born from us, and if a woman-born in you-mmm mmm mmm, what a decision to make if it all came down in a blink of an eye.......

Answer 10

They are different emotions which come from the same spring, and they run parallel to each other. Those answerer's (and I'm not knocking anyone, just expressing my view) who said that only children depend on us, in my opinion, are wrong. Spouses do depend on each other, and not just for financial support. It is a different kind of dependence, though, more of a moral support. Both spouses are capable of supporting themselves, but intricately linked through a physical and emotional bond. Children are dependent for not only basic needs, but for guidance, which forms a different, more protective bond.