Im 16 years old and i found out a couple days ago that my 17 year old girlfriend is pregnant. I really didnt mean for this to happen but now its to late and i have to face the music. How do i tell my mom? For the last 6 months (since she found out me and my girlfriend have been having sex) shes been saying i better not get her pregnant or else she will diss-own me. I dont know what to do. My girlfriend is 12 weeks pregnant. Why we found out so late is becauuse for some reason, none of the 5 pregnancy tests she took came up positive. Please help me. Im not ready for a baby. I'm so scared.
2007-05-23 15:22:05 · 29 answers · asked by Alex 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
first off relax and stay calm. just tell yuor mom because it's best for her to hear it from both of you.she might be mad at first, but then she'll get over it. when she sees that child face. you also need to talk to your girlfriend so you can figure out what you are gonna do.
2007-05-23 15:33:50 · answer #1 · answered by chanel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are going to have to tell your mom. Trust me she will not disown you. She may be a little upset but she will get over it. It sounds like your girlfriend intends on having the baby and I commend you for not running away. However you are both very young and need to finish school. There are plenty of people that want children and in some cases you can do an open adoption where you and your girlfriend could still be part of the child life. I have 2 friends that have done that and it has been great for both them and the child.I wish you the best of luck and I am just an e-mail away if you or your girlfriend need to talk. I have 6 kids so I have lots of experience when it comes to giving advice. Good luck tell your mom don't worry she will forgive you because she loves you
2007-05-23 22:38:58 · answer #2 · answered by HeatherC-P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...
this situation isn't ideal, but it's yours and you can't run away from it. First of all, everybody, no matter what their age, has fears about becoming a parent. A great book to get is "The Baby Book" by Dr. Sears. Lots of good info there, and pretty much everything you need to know about babies.
Secondly, have a good talk with your girlfriend and see what SHE wants to do. Has she thought about adoption? It will be hard, but I can't imagine that it will be harder than raising a baby at her age. The baby would get parents that can offer it a stable home and lots of love.
Now, your mom. Hm. This depends on what your girlfriend decides. If she decides to give it up for adoption, I don't see any reason to tell your mom. If she's going to keep it, then you have to be a man and take responsibility. Even if you and your girlfriend break up, you'll still be this baby's dad. Be a good one. Finish school. Go to college. Financially support the child all you can, and spend as much time with it as you can. You may need to go to court to get something worked out officially. But please, don't be a father that this child always wonders about; be a good man that he/ she can be proud to call "Dad."
How to tell mom? Is your dad around? If he's not, perhaps that's why your mom has such issues with this? (Any parent would be upset, but saying she'd "disown" you is a bit extreme.) I'd try to have someone else there when you told her. An aunt or uncle? A friend of hers who you feel would back you up? Try to have an ally in the room.
Good luck with everything.
2007-05-23 22:38:00 · answer #3 · answered by Laura 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's okay to be scared, I think everyone is the first time they find out they are bringing a life into the world. Both you and your girlfriend should tell your mama, and explain to her what your future plans are. Make sure to let her know that you NEED her in your life, and hopefully when she said she would disown you, she said it to scare you. EVERY mother melts when her baby has a baby...and even though she will be upset with you guys for awhile, once the baby comes she'll more than likely come around. Most importantly, you need to be there for your girlfriend right now...you are not the only one going through this...and as scared as you are, keep in mind that she is just as scared, if not a little more because she actually has to give birth. Becoming a parent is a scary thing, but as long as you stay true to your heart and don't be scared to ask for help...you should be fine. Evaluate your options with your girlfriend, and the two of you figure out what you want to do next, abortion (I wouldn't recommend), adoption, or raise the baby together. Again, there are a many resources out there for you, talk to planned parenthood, a school counselor, or go to a book store and check out the pregnancy section. Good luck!
2007-05-23 22:31:51 · answer #4 · answered by cowboynpony00 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well it sounds like your mom was warning you all along. Does your girlfriend plan on keeping the baby, aborting it, or giving it up for adoption? This is her choice, even if you arent ready. I feel bad for you, kids make mistakes, I am sure your mother wont disown you unless she is a total loser. If she decides to keep the baby the best thing you can do for your child is to complete your education and get a degree!! Then you will better be able to support the child and give it a positive future. Talk to your girlfriend first and find out her decision before talking to your mom. If she is keeping the baby, then bite the bullet and tell your mom. Be gentel about it because this is everymothers worse nightmare, so dont be a brat. She may need time to cool off, so dont blow up at her for being upset, she has a right to be pissed at you. And please whatever happens always use protection in the future.. Good luck and God bless!!!!!
2007-05-23 22:35:18 · answer #5 · answered by melissaw77 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was 18 when I had my son...a single mom and the father didn't want to face the music. I would tell my mom and I am sure she will be mad, but she loves you and I don't really think that she will disown you. If you don't know what to do or where to turn to next, research your options...talk it over with your girlfriend. Adoption would be the best thing since you guys are still in High School. I was already graduated from High School and I had already started on my career. If you choose to stay with the mom and take care of the baby then start working on a plan on how you plan to financially take care of this baby. My husband was also a teen father and he went into the military. It was what was best for him, it might not be for you, but it is an option. You need to have a plan, a job, and make sure you talk to your girlfriend. Good luck...also Catholic Churches here in Texas also have programs for this stuff and will help you find families to adopt the baby, I am not sure where you are, but you might want to turn to a church. A friend of mine was a teen father and he put his son up for adoption and it was an OPEN ADOPTION...he gets pictures of his son by email from the adopted parents. He gets letters from him and phone calls on father's day and his birthday. He also calls him on his birthday! Again, Good luck.
2007-05-23 22:37:22 · answer #6 · answered by Amy V 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must tell your mom.I`m sure she will not disown you.She will be angry and highly disappointed in you and that is a mothers normal feelings when their son goes against morals the mother has installed into her child.YOu really need to get paternity established as soon as the baby is born.Not only would it show if you are the father but most important if the babys mother decides not to let you see the baby then you can take it to court and already have papers proving the baby is yours.I am concern that in in 12 weeks 5 test has been negative and number 6 test is possitive.That just dont sound right.
2007-05-23 22:35:09 · answer #7 · answered by darlene100568 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you were not using protection, this would be where the various names for twit would be inserted...
However, you've probably been doing that to yourself.
So, how do you approach your mother?
Very carefully. If she is serious about disowning you, that means you'll be thrown out on your ear, which means you'll have to find some place to live. Your lady's folks will probably be even more upset at the two of you fo "ruining" their little girl than your mother is, so that likely won't work (you staying there, I mean).
Talk to a councillor at the local teen walk-in centre/hot-line. They will be able to help you find a way to talk to your mother.
In all honesty, I have no real opinion on how to help you other than honesty. Tell her that what she didn't want to happen, happened. If you are planning to be a father to the child...whether you marry the girl or not, let her know that as well.
Incidentally, if you're not ready for a kid, you're not ready for sex.
2007-05-23 23:01:10 · answer #8 · answered by jcurrieii 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So sorry...but having unprotected sex, or even sometimes sex with birth control, this is always a possibilty.
You and your girlfriend are very young. I am glad you are supporting her right now, you need to keep that up.
You need to tell your mom, and your girlfriend needs to tell her parents right away. She needs to get the proper pre-natal care, starting ASAP. I know it's going to be hard to tell your mom, but once you get it out, you will feel like a load was lifted off of your shoulders. You will just have to face the consequences...of what she does, if she disown's you, then there's not much you can do about it. She might just suprise you, and I hope for your sake that's what happens here...
You sound like a reasonable kid. I would talk to your girlfriend about "options"...see what she's thinking.... Does she want to keep the baby??? If so, you are going to have to start planning on becoming a father..and a supportive one, at that....
Good luck with all that lies ahead for you!
2007-05-23 22:36:23 · answer #9 · answered by dmmls 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well not to sound sarcastic or anything but Didn't you know that it could happen? Even if your mom said she would disown you if you got your girlfriend pregnant I seriously doubt that she would. After all it is her grandchild that your girlfriend is carrying. You and your girlfriend need to sit down to tell your mom and her parents also. And yes there may be a lot of yelling for a while but in the end if your mom truly loves you things will work out. After all if neither of you are ready to become full time parents ther is always adoption!
2007-05-23 22:34:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know it is a lot to handle at once, but the very first thing you should do is talk to your parents and her parents. Figure out what the two of you want to do about baby because there are always options. If your mother disowns you or kicks you out, she how her parents will react with you two living with them until you can sort out a job and apartment. If you and your girlfriend do decide to keep the baby, there's a lot of help available for young parents until they can get on their feet financially. If not, adoption is always an option. As a very last resort, there is abortion, but since she is so far along, I don't think she can anymore. Whatever you do, keep the lines of communication open with your parents, her parents, and most importantly, her. Good luck.
2007-05-23 22:29:34 · answer #11 · answered by Evelyn's Mommy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋