My husband and In have been together for 15 years and I caught him talking to someone else on the phone about 3 years ago. He claimed he met her on the chatline (meaning a dating place usimng the telephone) so when I confronted him... his response was she is just a friend. If she was just a friend he wouldn't have kept it from me. During the same conversation he said that he wasn't happy with me anymore. So eventually we worked things out. He lied to me about how many times he would talk to her and how often. So to make the long story short.. He just now walked in on me on my computer and saw me chatting with some friends that I met here actually and had a major fit.. he stormed in here and yelled at me and said that he knows what I was doing. To be honest when he barged in on me I got scared, panicked & logged off. Being that he has hit me before I got scared. So now he is gone. What does that mean? Would I be considered as cheating? Why would he accuse me or sneak up on me?
2007-05-23 15:17:33 · 14 answers · asked by good_girl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is your husbands own guilt! He is making a big deal out of nothing. He is just throwing a big temper tantrum like a child. He sounds like he has a controlling problem. He is still upset with himself for getting caught 3 years ago and running paranoid because of his own intent he had with this woman he was trying to hook up with on line. His mind went right into the gutter because that was where his was........because had you not caught him and put a stop to his behavior it would have been just a matter of time that he would have cheated on you!!! He startled you and you reacted and turned off your computer. Do not let him intimidate you and ever lay one hand on you! He is mentally and physically abusing you and that is wrong. You need to stand up to him and tell him enough is enough!! When he left the house that was an excuse for him to go out and probably do what he wanted to do with his evening. He has no faith and trust in himself that he would not cheat on you ......so he is taking it all out on you. He only thinks that he knows what you are doing ....because that was what he was doing some time ago to you. When he comes back home you show more anger than him if he starts in on you......you tell him he had no right to run out of the house and act like a fool. Tell him that the way that he was yelling at you scared you and that you thought he lost his mind and that you thought that he was going to hit you.....because he has done that before. Tell him that he needs counseling for his insecurities because he has put the same feelings on you and your going to see one for yourself. Tell him that you cannot tolerate his behavior and he is not going to treat you like this. If he comes at you and acts like he is going to get physical call someone that can handle him to your house...or call the police on him sweetie.
2007-05-23 16:16:28 · answer #1 · answered by Lindsey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why can't you just let the man do what he wants with you? You have no right to be on the computer talking to anyone, you should be making his dinners!!! And you shouldn't even have the nerve to confront him about anything since he's the one who makes all the money. And if she's just a friend you need to believe him because he is soo good to you. I mean, has he broken your neck yet?? No, don't think so.. so get off the pedestal and do right by him.
by the way, total BS... Leave now!!!!!! But are you really going to listen to that part?? I didn't think so!!
2007-05-23 23:10:25 · answer #2 · answered by duchess77 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He accused you for 2 reasons... first because he is guilty of doing just what he is accusing you of and second because you panicked and logged off... you made yourself look guilty as charged. I myself dealt with a cheating husband on the internet. It took a long time for me to accept that he was a cheater, HE WAS A CHEATER and it wasn't my fault. 2 years later I am now with a wonderful man who respects me and I respect him! Lose the Loser and stop fooling yourself into thinking he is not cheating. Easier said than done...but it can be done...Good luck and I am sorry you are going through this:(
2007-05-23 22:28:00 · answer #3 · answered by Andrea S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He knows what he is doing is cheating so he thinks you are doing the same.I no what it's like to be frighten when your husband storms in the room.Even though your doing nothing wrong he has away of making you think you are.I have friends that i talk to here and if my husband knew he would be upset with me.Look at it from his point of view how do you think that looked to him .Just tell him what really happened .He frightened you when he stormed in the room and you just log off it's the truth isn't it.
2007-05-23 22:54:30 · answer #4 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the same thing that he did - cheated on him in a similar manner he cheated on you. He accused you for the same reason you accused him.
He probably was suspecting something, that's why he barged in on you.
Now, all that is minor compared to him hitting you. This is not possible to "work out" and it doesn't sound like you did, because you're sitting there and shaking in fear what will he do next. Even if he caught you cheating on him openly on your own kitchen table this is not an excuse to hit you again.
2007-05-23 22:24:52 · answer #5 · answered by Everybody's Favorite 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I can't believe that you too have been keeping something alive for three(3) year. your problem begin back then, you all never move forward,and until you do,meaning forgive one another and forget.,you will have lots and lots of problem coming your way.As for the hitting,Beware it gone too happen again and again until you leave or take matter in your own hand.Good luck
2007-05-23 22:32:58 · answer #6 · answered by lavell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi! 2 wrongs do not make a right, pray, prayer opens the door for God to work in our lives....Jesus loves you
2007-05-23 22:41:11 · answer #7 · answered by Bert 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not cheating. You are crazy about him, but just having exciting conversations on line. Jeez ... guys have been doing more than that on line for years.
2007-05-23 22:21:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa back up, he hits you? Girl get some self esteem and get the hell outta there
2007-05-23 22:45:02 · answer #9 · answered by lovebug512 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both are cheating but he is also being physically abusive so get out NOW!
2007-05-23 22:31:18 · answer #10 · answered by Matthew E 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋