I fell out of love and got bored with my husband and started a relationship with a coworker. We have been together for almost 17 years and have three kids. When he found out that I wanted to leave him he freaked out and had to go to the hospital for what they called "emotional shock". I'm with my new lover now but just curious if that sounds like normal behavior?I might go for full custody if that doesn't sound normal.
2007-05-23 14:17:32 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is a good father and always supported his family. He was my first and my friends told me that first loves are not suppose to last.
2007-05-23 14:18:56 · update #1
He very well was being normal-- what you did to him was a complete shock & it hit him like a ton of bricks....
Don't make things worse by trying to take the kids from him....
You should have left him when you stopped loving him, not cheat on him & then drop it all on him at once....
2007-05-23 14:21:29 · answer #1 · answered by from HJ 7 · 7⤊ 2⤋
Now while your husband's stuck in the hospital you should use that time to get a head start shopping for a good lawyer. A really good lawyer can definitely take advantage of your husband's condition painting him as total looney tunes. With any luck you could get not only full custody but the house, cars, most of his property plus a fat monthly child support and alimony payment.
Just be careful how hard you push him though. If he dies from shock he can't pay you anything. What if he kills himself? Then you won't even get the life insurance. And if he has a stroke or heart attack he may not be able to work at all. His disability check wouldn't be anything near his regular salary; his monthly payments to you would certainly be reduced.
Good luck.
2007-05-23 14:47:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let me be sure I have this straight. You have an affair. When your "supposedly" primary companion discovers this fact after 17 years of total commitment, his natural response system puts him into physical state of shock until such time his emotions can handle the news. Now you move on with your "guarantee" to fail relationship and have the audacity to wonder if you should go for full custody. Then you twist the knife in this man's back by saying what a terrific dad he is. The only parent that should be questioned regarding their behavior is you. Please tell me you see the problem with your question? In no way should you be any type of caregiver, let alone the primary one, if you don't see the problem with this. Get your life into proper perspective before you ruin your precious children's. Please.
2007-05-23 14:37:18 · answer #3 · answered by Healthy Lifestyle Geek 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
the first thing you need to make sure is you for real don't love him. maybe counseling. the reason i say this is because i did the very same thing and i was sorry because it was only the excitement of something new and different. but if you totally no you don't love him that's OK to you have to be happy. but on the other hand your husband still loves you and its not so easy for him to just walk away. yes it can be normal its obvious he has a broken heart it will take time. if when he comes out and you don't see anything abnormal then by all rights let him share the custody. but......be watchful also. best wishes.
2007-05-23 14:31:04 · answer #4 · answered by lnay69 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well I am not sure if you are asking this question for the sake of asking it or is it something you have really done. I understand why you might have gone otherwise but then you need to understand your husbands grief. Its something he did not know for years and then it comes as a shock to hm. Its perfectly normal for ppl to behave this way when unexcpected things turn out. Anyway my best wishes to your new life. Make sure your new lover does not do what you did to you husband.
2007-05-23 14:28:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
You are a terrible person and you did him wrong. You should have divorced him first. I hope he gets full custody. You are not a good influence on your children. He went into shock because he probably never expected that from you. If he is a good father then he deserves the kids.
2007-05-23 14:21:59 · answer #6 · answered by RedRabbit 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Of course it is a normal behavior.
I am shocked that you're trying to use your husband's reaction as a way to get full custody.
2007-05-23 14:23:02 · answer #7 · answered by cherryblossom 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
In that situation where your husband did not know about your other relationship, emotional shock could be suffered because it was a complete shock to him and his system that you would do that. So yes for some people it is a mormal reaction to a relationship devastation.
2007-05-23 14:31:45 · answer #8 · answered by Grim_Sim 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well for one your friends are idiots because a first true love can last a long time, but both spouses have to endure the high and lows of the marriage. But in your case you couldn't wait to get pouned to teh bed. MAybe the reason he is using is so you can feel sorry for him and come back. But even trying taking his kids away he will use the excuse.
2007-05-23 14:24:47 · answer #9 · answered by Always ready for anything 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
is probably normal, why wouldnt he go into shock you cheated on him and hurt him after he loved you for all of those years ,that really hurts and your friends uuuggghh!, I mean what kind of crap is that first loves dont last...of course they do, just because theres didnt dosent mean that yours cant, that was dirty what you did and ruthless...you could atleast told him what was going on and tried to salvage the marriage, how do you know this wont effect your children...some people have no morals, what goes around comes around Karmas a ...well you know the rest
2007-05-23 14:36:18 · answer #10 · answered by cleanheart 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You are the reason so many kids are messed up these days. When you find out how this affects them - and it will manifest in many different ways - just remember who's fault it is. Yours.
You broke vows that were supposed to be sacred. Your husband obviously still loved and believed in you. Hopefully he gets over you and finds true love with someone who deserves him and vice versa. Hopefully you get what's coming to you - what goes around comes around.
The kids should stay with him and you should have to pay child support/spousal support. They should be brought up by someone with morals.
You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
2007-05-23 14:29:10 · answer #11 · answered by greyrider 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋