child custody battle with bad father?

Question

i have a 2 year old daughter and have raised her almost completely by myself with little help from her father. now that i am dating he is angry and wants to take her from me. reason being he thought we could get back together and is afraid someday ill make him pay child support and thinks that will go towards a man. he wants her half time or more, but already has a 10 year old he passes around to his family or whoever is able to care for her. he has had 12 jobs in last 2 years, just now got a place to live and call home, goes out all the time, never payed his bills on time, changes his daughters school yearsly to whichever is convenient,and doesnt take the raising my child right as serious as i do. he has more money than me and a better attorney and is getting just what he wants, like all i have to say doesnt matter! i want him to see her, but i want her primary residence to be with me so i can maintain a stable life for her. and yeah, i want child support too...what do i do?

Answer 1

NO ONE can tell you that you will get custody. PERIOD. Thos that have done that here are giving you a false sense of security.

Only a judge who has listened to both sides of the issue, has investigated both of you, your home study report and any psyche eval ordered can make that determination.

Now, as for the current issue and my legal opinion, first, I filtered out all of the emotion and aspersions. Once that occurred there are very little facts on which to go.

The Three RELEVANT facts I could gleen from what you said are these:

1. you were not married to the baby's father, and;
2. you do not have a current custody/visitation/support order, and;
3. you have no idea of the process involved.

If those assumptions are correct then here is a synopsis of what you will need to do.

FIRST, leave the emotions and the accusations alone. The court only cares about facts. I have seen more people on both sides admonised to the point of fines for running off at the mouth about how "Bad" the other party is.

Understand that this is only your opinion and rarely do these isues have any relevence to the issues being decided.

So, facts and only facts.

Second, His not paying child support is also irrelevant at this point. You have a duty of support to your child and only you at this time. Why? Because, if I am correct and you were not married to the father of the child, then the child has no father in the eyes of the law and therefore, no one legally responsible for it's care and support.

In fact, many times I've seen a court dismiss support because the mother failed to file in a timely manner. Although support was granted going forward, what could have been awarded as retroactive support was denied.

You BOTH (if he is found to be the father) Have a duty of support. Him for paying support and you for filing for it. You both failed.

and last, this is not something I would advise you to do on your own. Consult with at least three attorneys in your area. Treat the consultation as an interview for a job because an attorney is ultimately your employee.

But, whatever you decide, you need to do it now. Most states allow for retroactive support but only for a short time. And the initial step, paternity determination, takes awhile and nothing more can be done until paternity has been established.

Answer 2

I believe each and every thing you say in your post. I also think the fact that he didn't willfully contribute to the support of his child, despite no court order is a strike against him. What I also know is that the courts start from the basis that both parents should/need to be involved in the upbringing of their children unless otherwise demonstrated through evidence that would not be in the best interest of the child. You have a couple good facts on your side. Instability and lack of acceptance of responsibility. However, this does not necessarily speak volumes for future behavior. An indicator, but not the last nail in the coffin. I think what I would do is battle to keep sole physical custody with reasonable rights to visitation. Should dad screw up on this opportunity take him back to court to increase support based on predictable poor performance. Hate to bring bad news, but you may have to go through a difficult period to put that final nail in. Do not give up, just be committed to making him live up to the promise you and I both know he will boldly make to the court. If the father of your child is motivated by anything other than participating in the life of his child this will be demonstrated soon enough. I give you a lot of credit for the battle, I wish you would have pursued financial support immediately. That support is your child's right and not for you to determine. Stay focused and keep your child first. Nice work.

Answer 3

You have no problem here. You will be awarded custody as the courts want the kids to stay with their mother unless shes ruled unfit, usually because of child or drug/mental abuse and I dont see that here. Not only will he and his attorney try to prove you unfit, he also has to prove himself a good enough parent for the courts to give him custody and from what youve said I dont see that happening. You really have nothing to worry about and the legal system is on your side. He will have to pay support but will also get state mandated visitation rights. Good luck

Answer 4

All that you can do is file for child support and custody. I know it's a hard situation, but as long as he expreses interest in being in his child's life, you will never be able to keep him out of it. The judge will decide who he thinks your child will be better off living with. Luckily for you judges tend to lean towards the mother.

Answer 5

Get an atty, it's still possible to get child support and have sole physical placement. Your ex could and probably will get visitation rights, but I would get the visitation times set in stone so there can be no interperation on them.

Answer 6

You don't have anything to worry about...I don't think.