Why does Everything i try to FORGET always come back to HAUNT me?

Question

what's the best way to LEAVE them all BEHIND for good?

Answer 1

Wounded flesh, although healed, will always bear the scars... So what do you do?

Which would be better, re-constructive surgery or do you simply accept the scars as a new part of yourself?

See, if you opt for re-constructive surgery, the scars may or may not go away, you wouldn't know unless you try it. Some re-constructive surgery can turn out pretty bad afterwards, just look at MJ. So what you tried to be rid of could end up coming back to you with a vengeance.

But if the surgery turns out well and the scar disappears, you might not remember what caused you to get it in the first place, and you won't remember to be more careful in the future, to avoid hurting yourself again.

Our history, no matter bad or good, made us who we are today.

You can't simply hit the delete button and empty the Recycle Bin, because you'll be sorry if you couldn't retrieve that information if you were to need it again. The holes or voids left by forgotten memories will only serve to trip you up in the future.

The things you've gone through in the past are the very essence that made you uniquely you. Every single bit of it. And what didn't kill you would only make you stronger.

And I do believe that the only way to exorcise the demons from the past is by facing them head on. You can only conquer what you understand. And once you've understood your darker past, the future could only be brighter....

Answer 2

They don't come back to haunt you, you haunt yourself. "Try" is the key word. You CAN forget. You may have to "come to terms" with why you want to forget, yet sometimes this isn't possible. Just think of a big broom, (preferably a witch's broom), & sweep your memories away. It may take awhile, but becomes automatic. Resolving (inner self) the thing you want to forget is best, but as I said, (I think), not always possible. In either case, if you're truly dedicated to forgetting, you will. (Sort of like putting a very bad dream out of your mind.) If a lesson was learned, fine. Internalize that lesson in the abstract. Press foward, my friend! "Haunting" memories will never serve you.

Answer 3

The more we try to forget something, the more we end up remembering it, which leads to frustration, which leads to wanting to forget even more, which leads to remembering even better. It's a vicious cycle. The best way for it (whatever "it" may be) to be gone is to deal with it as it comes and then allow the body, mind and soul to recover. In doing so, your mind finds its own peace and there will be no need to try and forget...it will simply happen on its own. Closure, as many call it, has been found.

On the flipside, sometimes its better just to embrace the memories. Perhaps trying the opposite will be true...the more we try to remember, the more we'll forget?

Answer 4

Forgetting is not a real option, its a delusion for the concious mind. Some have said to face your problems-fears; your wording seems to point at people-situations, maybe you also need to forgive, this won't really help to forget, but will serve for you to move on. It's the best anyone can do.

Answer 5

because you haven't come to terms with them
you can't just FORGET things as if they never were but you can accept them and possibly make up for them in some way and then leave them in the past and truly move on from them. don't forget but find a way to forgive yourself or be forgiven.

Answer 6

There is nothing called trying to forget, you can try to remember, you cannot try to forget. Coz to try to forget you will have to remember that thing tht u want to forget. :p
Jokes apart, If you really want to get out of something sad in your past, just dont leave it unanswered. Answer all the ifs and buts of the past situation. Sometimes things are not in your hand, and other times your decisions are wrong. If things were not in your hands, its not your fault and if ur decisions were wrong, accept it. You have to take responsibilities of your deeds.

Try occupying yourself in something tht interests you. Develop a hobby, you will be occupied and not think of unwanted things.

Answer 7

Because some people just cant let go off stuff you did in the past, even though they promise to, they just dont trust you enough to give you the benefit of the doubt, because they dont know the meaning of it... But hey thats their loss, one day they'll look back and see the promises I made are being enjoyed by someone else, and even more than anyone anticipated. I just wanted to change on my own, not be 'made' to do it. I wanted to be 'that' person. You cant force feed people what you want them to eat, you have to appetise them, and ask them to try some..

Signed: Future somebody

Answer 8

Ah! See Mr. Freud, or Baudain. We try to forget what most pains us. That's like trying to ignore a snake under the bed. I wouldn't advocate cuddling snakes unless one knows their nature and character very well. But I reckon the only way to leave behind what you would like to forget, is to embrace it, see what you can learn from it, and then you can take strength and confidence from it. Facing what we want to forget and finding it's not fatal de-fangs it. It becomes merely another scar; a mark of a life lived.

Answer 9

i am not experienced in psychology...but i had to answer this question he he.

this same question i ask myself each day and i have heard my friends having the same question for themselves. i think,its because...somewhere we have just shut the past up in our hearts and our minds...we just pretend that it doesn't mean anything to us...but in reality it still matters and it still affects our heart. And there can plenty of ways to leave them behind...but if you "leave" them, they will come running back to you, sometimes certain things are best handled, when you walk with them...giving them an equal importance of their own...even if it is a horrible past, its still our past. the best way is to "face" it, "embrace" it (like so many people here told), and let it free....laugh with it, laugh on it, cry for it, and let it go...if you can't forget anything, that means it is not meant to be forgotten, its meant to "corrected". (couldn't get a better word so i wrote it within quotes)
just keep smiling and be happy!!
:)

we are all in the same boat, in fact.

Answer 10

The return of the repressed...if you succeed in repression, the material will return in other forms (derivatives) or will be projected onto the outer world (eg if you tried to forget a situation of abuse, you would recreate it again and again). Better to remember it, but with a new framing, a new way of making sense of the situation.