Wet cement floor
The smell of mildew
He lays his cheek shamefully
While people stare
I am not a drug addict
I am not a murderer
I am not lazy
I just need a hand up
Do not pity me
Do not spit on me
Do not mock me
Just a warm hand
To help me up
And tell
me its ok
2007-05-23 13:29:02 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
yes
2007-05-23 13:31:28 · answer #1 · answered by × 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really like this poem. I had to read it twice and that is good because I noticed every word a little more. The beginning is a little repelling though and that is only because the poem mentions cement and mildew. The ending is very good and the poem says the person is a normal person. They don't want anything extra just someone to give them a hand and tell them it isn't over.
2007-05-23 20:36:10 · answer #2 · answered by HorseCrazy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bravo! Bravo! You'd make the next Keats or Shakespeare.
2007-05-23 20:35:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Feel free to visit my 360 and comment.
I feel like the word "me" in the last line should have been put one line up...
And tell me
its ok.
Just my thoughts. But very interesting and very real
2007-05-23 20:34:45 · answer #4 · answered by Meatball ;) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a non-ryhming poem yes
2007-05-23 20:33:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK if you're young. If you're over twenty, then don't quit your day job. Sorry.
2007-05-23 20:32:43 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is a good poem, but can be better.
2007-05-23 20:31:42 · answer #7 · answered by euphoria 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
*claps* thats pretty good. write some more
2007-05-23 20:35:07 · answer #8 · answered by *Living a {{ღяøM@N!Cღ}} Tragity* 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3rd line.... correct English... believe it or not.... is LAY... not LAYS...
You are using Lay as an action verb.....not passive.......
other than that... not bad...
2007-05-23 20:33:38 · answer #9 · answered by Barack_O' Llama 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's deep I like it.
2007-05-23 20:32:18 · answer #10 · answered by sikchux 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋