Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and we want to move in together while I attend nursing school.. Im an adult but my mom is not ok with the idea at all. Any suggestions?
2007-05-23 12:47:32 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you're not willing or ready to marry him before shacking up, don't play house and pretend to be married. Your mother is right-- she raised you better than that.
2007-05-23 12:50:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
I would get married then move in together. I understand where you mom is coming from. If you both like each other that much why not g ahead and get married? If not marriage yet, why do you both need to live together? I think people who live together brfore marriage just makes things more confusing. You should finish school first. Also, with nursing you will need to give a lot of your time for homework and studying. I know you probably care about him a lot, but school should be your main focus. Nursing can be done, but you need to give yourself time to focus on your work.
2007-05-23 20:25:36 · answer #2 · answered by mizzpretti 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Neither of our parents liked the idea of us moving in together, but we did anyway. We have been married for 3 years now. You should do what you think is best. Your mother may put in her input, but ultimately it is your decision. Sometimes, it just makes sense to move in together. Example: You are already planning on (or thinking about) marriage. If one or both of you are looking for an an apartment. Then it would just be a natural thing to move in together. You are probably going to get some of both answers, regarding living together before marriage. I will just tell you this, we did and we learned each others habits (both bad and good). Just be prepared to learn things about him that you may not like. If you love him, then you learn to live with certain things you cannot change. Living together will help you decide if you can truly spend the rest of your life with him. I know some will say, if you love him, then it shouldn't matter. Do what you think is best.
2007-05-23 19:56:17 · answer #3 · answered by Katie R 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'm with others, although I have lived both situations.
Both my brother and I lived with our first wives several years before we "tied the knot." The 1st year we actually made it "legal," we both called it quits and were divorced, never to be together with our ex's again. Although many states consider common law marriage after only 30 days of actually being under the same roof, many go as much as 6 months.
I say if you want to make a relationship work, get married. If you want to see if it "will work," date each other and keep living quarters separate!!!
That's my two cents worth!!!
2007-05-23 20:00:20 · answer #4 · answered by not for now 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your mom probably dislikes him, and not just the idea of y'all living together...we need the complete story behind this.
Personally, I would never live with a boyfriend before marriage. I don't play house. You don't have to live with someone to find out what they're truly like.
Maybe she wants you to finish nursing school before you make such a big decision to live with your boyfriend...?
2007-05-23 19:57:31 · answer #5 · answered by Cheriaxe 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well if moms not OK with the idea I'd try to find alternatives as best as possible. If those don't work out keep your mom updated. Maybe she'll be a little more flexible. My parents and in-lkaws were not so strict but, we were together several years and we did get engaged just before moving in together.
2007-05-23 19:51:19 · answer #6 · answered by brk 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
True you are prbably a young adult with absolutely no experience of being one so you still have alot to learn. Agedoes not make a true adult nor does it replace experience so you are still best to listen to your elders who still have your best interest at heart. You should wait til youre thru school before moving in as if something goes wrong, then you wont havethe extra stress to deal with along with the pressure of school, and living together will surely bring unexpexted challenges. You should only have to worry about classes and grades at this point. Theres plenty of time after school to screw up your life but at least you wont have to financially depend on no one. Good luck in school
2007-05-23 19:59:30 · answer #7 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like your mother is a bit old fashioned. I would tell her this....
Explain that you love this person and you don't want to end up another divorce statistic. If you are having sex..tell her that as well....explain that whether you live together or not...the deed is done(if you haven't skip that part). Tell her that you think this is the right person for you, but the best way to be sure is to be under the same roof to see all his habits...and he see yours, to make sure this will work in the long run.....and that living together is the only way to really find out everything. Give her the guilt trip as well ...the "mom...you love me don'y you?...you trust me don't you? I just want your support".....i really love him.....etc..etc
GL to you
2007-05-23 19:58:38 · answer #8 · answered by eric f 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I suggest that you wait until you get married. In most cases, men don't ask the women they are living with to get married. Why buy the cow, when you are getting the milk for free. If your boyfriend wants a commitment like that (you being like a wife), let him put the ring on the finger and walk you down the aisle. Unless, you think you are not worth the marriage commitment. God never designed us to live in unholy matrimony. If he wants to have you that way, let him make the commitment. Studies have shown that most women who live with their mate struggle with depression, and I believe it is due to the lack of commitment of marriage on the male part. But, it's your life. All the best!!
2007-05-23 19:53:09 · answer #9 · answered by fancyface1 l 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
with age comes experience. there is nothing new under the sun- the game doesn't change. listen to your mom. there are some, maybe many exceptions, but usually you get taken off the pedestal when you live with a guy and give all that a wife would. if you aren't really pressed to get married, go on and do it your way. if you want more, listen to your mom or an impartial author: pick up "ten stupid things women do to mess up their lives" by Dr. Laura
2007-05-23 19:54:44 · answer #10 · answered by kimm24seven 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I may be old fashion, but I agree with the ole cliche "why by the cow when you can get the milk for free." If you're serious about this guy, don't live with him. I truly think in time he will lose respect for you. Also, if you decide to marry, there won't be anything special to look forward to.
2007-05-23 20:23:05 · answer #11 · answered by Phoebe 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋