summer rose
the sky rains falling,peacefully through the treetops
wet and silky smooth dressing up a blank canvas
gorgeous pink petals in a garden floating on a ray of sunshine
smell the sweet roses dreaming in there beds
no really negative comments please
2007-05-23 12:25:16 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
Please, please add in some punctuation. Example:
Summer rose.
The sky rain's falling, peacefully through the tree tops.
Wet and silky smooth, dressing up a blank canvas.
Gorgeous, pink petals in a garden floating on a ray of sunshine.
Smell the sweet roses dreaming in their beds.
there is their. (don't worry, i always mess those up too lol)
but the idea is very good and peaceful. You just need to add in some beneficial pauses, and commas will help you do that.
2007-05-23 13:02:11 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
An example of romantic literature. I liked 'gorgeous pink petals'very much.But the poem is incomplete,complete it,because you have a good potential.
2007-05-31 00:45:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was good. Nice descriptive words. Out of a 1 - 10 I would rate it a 10.
2007-05-23 19:34:08 · answer #3 · answered by actmusic3 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you are a genius. The contextural counterpoints that you achieve form a secondary narrative within the work which provides a juxtaposition of viewpoints for the reader depending on his or her internal dialogue. Very impressive.
2007-05-23 20:29:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
if i were to chose from a scale from 1-10,i would give you an 8
2007-05-23 19:34:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
blank canvas has been used too often in other poems but other than that it's beautiful especially the last line.... very nice.
2007-05-23 19:34:27 · answer #6 · answered by Delete System32 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is a good start with lots of image in it. Keep up your poetry and you will do fine. Good luck
2007-05-23 19:29:14 · answer #7 · answered by Ginnykitty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not bad, but it feels incomplete... Try adding more to it to give it a real ending
2007-05-24 21:16:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i like the poem. although i enjoy longer ones better i do like this one. good job.
2007-05-29 17:16:54 · answer #9 · answered by jewel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
thats beautiful, really.
try not to use the word gorgeous, though. replace it with something like "breathtaking"...
2007-05-23 19:54:09 · answer #10 · answered by lala89 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋