Well basically I have a so-called fiance who says "Oh babe, we don't need to get married right now. We need more time because I don't want to end up in a divorce after a few months".
I don't get it? If he truly loves me and wants things to work between us then isn't it supposed to be "For better or worse, through thick and thin"? I mean there is a reason they included those words in the verse. We already have a child together, and I know I love him with all my heart, and I wouldn't want to make things work with anyone else. I'm commited to him. So why doesn't he feel the same?? Is it cold feet?? HELP me understand. PLEASE!!
Signed,
Frustrated
2007-05-23 11:46:35 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Really? I've found very few women who will live by the words "till death due us part". Recent studies have found that women cheat at a greater percentage than men.
Do you really want him to marry you before he is ready? Doesn't sound like a good idea when put that way does it?
2007-05-23 11:52:08 · answer #1 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, he already got what he wanted from you, sex, and you also gave him a child, and he knows he has you wrapped around his finger, so why would he need to make a commitment now ? Unfortunately, you put the cart before the horse, and the cart can't pull the horse.
If he doesn't see that he should make you an official family, after you had his child, I wonder if he will ever wise up, grow up, and assume his responsibility ?
You mention that he's your fiance--didn't he propose and ask you to marry him when he gave you the engagement ring ? Don't tell me, he didn't give you a ring, did he ? In case I'm wrong, and he did give you a ring and asked you to marry him, then let him know that you want to set a date and start wedding plans. At this point, he'll step up to the plate, or he'll run the other way. And if he runs, consider yourself lucky that you don't waste your whole life waiting for him.
2007-05-23 14:13:28 · answer #2 · answered by Tweety 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right to want marriage to close the circle to the relationship. But can a marriage work if one partner does not have the same commitment, even with a child in the "family"? Unfortunately, the answer is No.
The questions you need to answer if will he come around to accepting what should be the lifetime commitment and - if he isn't - are you willing to accept the relationship as it stands.
It sounds to me that right now the answer to both are No, so you are going to have to make a hard choice on how you want to raise your child in the near future; with a man who has little commitment or as a single parent.
2007-05-23 11:57:22 · answer #3 · answered by Zombie Birdhouse 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's most likely cold feet, men don't feel the same way about marriage as we do! I have read in several books that men are more afraid of making a commitment than women are, they can't help it! Be patient with him, if he wants to marry you he will! The 3 things men need the most in life are work, love and sex! Good luck!
2007-05-23 11:54:21 · answer #4 · answered by jra60411 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you as you have a child, but I have also seen from experience that if someone is pushed into something it will likely not work out well as they are not really having their heart in it.
Many men have commitment issues. It's hard to say without knowing more details if this is just minor cold feet or full fledged neurotic avoidance of commitment which you might never solve.
I would just advise you to avoid rushing into this.
2007-05-24 20:04:35 · answer #5 · answered by accorn34 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, I was going to say wait don't push. But when I read the part where you have a kid together, well.....now what 's his problem? He doesn't mind knocking you up but he can't do it right by you and the child and make it right? Is he a man or a chicken s**t coward? Tell him to grow up or get out and find yourself a loving, strong, devoted man who will step up to the plate and make you a proper wife and the kid not embarrassed to have a dad who won't marry his/her mom. Maybe counseling would help y'all. Good luck. Hope it all works out for you.
2007-05-23 11:55:09 · answer #6 · answered by Nose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who's best interest is he taking into consideration. Financially who has more to loose. This explains him not wanting to get married. I would give him a time limit on making a commitment. He is doing what he wants and not taking your feelings into consideration. Best Wishes!
2007-05-23 12:37:16 · answer #7 · answered by Janice 10 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He just wants to have his cake and eat it too. Sounds like he's not as sure about the marriage thing as you are. I can't tell you that I understand, because I don't... Why did he propose to you if he wasn't ready?
2007-05-23 11:55:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is probably just thinking since he gets tail already and you have a child already why get married?
2007-05-23 11:49:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
he just want the best for you and him that's all. my fiance keeps saying the same thing to me after 5 years of being with each other and him calling me his wife.
2007-05-23 11:51:41 · answer #10 · answered by Blessed and Happy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋