My husband left me and doesn't want to come back to the arguing. I have soul searched and really know what I need to do to change, and he is scared to take that leap and come home. Just wondering what I can say or do to get him to believe me and come home.
2007-05-23 11:32:44 · 18 answers · asked by crysmomof1 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Male 50,i have sort of the same as i asked my partner to leave ,anyway cut to the chase the more you try to show him the less chance you have in him coming home i think the best thing that you can do is be nice but don't show him that you really want him back and just get on with your life,i don't mean to sound hard but at the moment he knows you will always be there but if he thinks that he has lost you for good it may make him stop and think and if it doesn't then maybe he is not worth it in the 1st place.please feel free to mail me good luck
2007-05-23 11:55:51 · answer #1 · answered by andrew h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not much you can do at this point. Just stay calm and let him see you in every situation how your doing. Actions speak volumes over words, so don't try to convince by talking to him. When he comes to see or pick up your son, be happy and don't ask anymore when he is coming home. To some men that would be nagging. If for some reason an agreement should start, just stop and think before you say the next word. I wish you luck and hope your marriage will work out.
2007-05-23 11:42:16 · answer #2 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The both of you need to go into marriage counseling. This way you could both get to the bottom of the problems that keep you arguing. That is the only way that you have a chance of working on things to save the marriage. You have to both learn how to communicate and learn how to appropriately talk with one another. There are rules that a professional can help you with in order that you don't hit below the belt and help you both to understand constructive ways to deal with problems and issues. I would set up an appointment and have the counselor call your husband to come in and see him/her. It is worth a try if you both still love each other. Best wishes sweetie.
2007-05-23 12:02:07 · answer #3 · answered by Lindsey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is very little you can do. You can ask him to please give you a second chance but that's about all. You can tell him that you love him and that you miss him and that you feel horrible about chasing him away. Hopefully he decides to go at it again.
~hugs~ I really hope he comes back and gives you a second chance. It would be a real pity if he just gives up after you have put so much effort into being better.
2007-05-23 11:37:56 · answer #4 · answered by Magina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be the person that you want to be and can be and lead your life that way. To earn the trust you have to show that it is a real change. If he comes back great if not you have changed yourself for the better.
2007-05-23 11:38:41 · answer #5 · answered by Pizzaguyfl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Invite him over for a nice family dinner. Suggest that you two (or three) spend some time together so he can see that things can be better. Take it slow. Don't push for a quick commitment. If it truly has changed, he will be back.
2007-05-23 11:38:13 · answer #6 · answered by Insurance Biz CT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him time and show him that you have really changed. He is afraid you will revert back to the old you the send he comes home.
2007-05-23 11:36:20 · answer #7 · answered by trovanhawk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All I have to say--
words won't do it- the only thing that will do it is actions.
maybe he shouldn't come home right away - time apart might be good -- so you can prove to him that you changed.
2007-05-23 12:38:19 · answer #8 · answered by ★★★ Katharine ♥♥♥♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People don't change overnight, and perhaps he knows this. You said you know what you need to do to change, which implies that you are just beginning the journey towards change. Either he is willing to be part of that journey or he isn't. It's gotta be up to him.
2007-05-23 11:36:58 · answer #9 · answered by Simmy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because you decided to change doesn't mean you have, especially if you're now trying to "make" him do things your way. Change, and if he sees you have changed for good, he might be willing to try.
Read "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands" and tell him you're reading it.
http://www.drlaurashop.com/product.php?id=96&PHPSESSID=eb49d662590876f773a14af3fa0d2d10
2007-05-23 11:37:05 · answer #10 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋