there are phone calls,nasty movies, and now internet porn. it makes me feel sick!
2007-05-23 11:11:35 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The only answer is to confront him on the issue and try to make him understand how you feel about it. If he doesn't want to stop, you may need to go to a Christian counselor to help you two sort out your feelings for each other.
I don't think this is a case where compromise is acceptable. All the porn and related things are only destructive to your relationship.
Best wishes!
2007-05-23 11:16:45 · answer #1 · answered by Buff 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What does it mean to 'mentally' be having an affair?
First, you have to realize that movies and porn do not say anything about you nor about the relationship. Men do this. Most men do this. It doesn't mean he is a horrible man. It means he is just a man like a hundred million other men in the USA.
Second, you can confront him, but to do what? Honestly, what is your goal? Do you want him to be humiliated? embarrassed? hurt? to change? what is it that YOU want?
Third, if you feel secure enough, you might actually suggest that the two of you do this together. I know it's wild and weird, but it can actually help, rather than to destroy. There are a lot of men out there who experience a better sex life because of porn.
So, what is it that you want to do? But be careful what you ask for, because you may get it. If you want him to stop being a man, you can probably do that ... but do you really want him to do that? What will that cost you in the long run?
2007-05-23 11:15:23 · answer #2 · answered by John B 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Do you mean just viewing porn material, or an affair with an actual person? If it's just stuff, that's all it is! Get over it! ALL men do this, so what? You mean to tell me YOU don't look at great looking bodies, too? What you hide your eyes? No way! Stop being jealous of a photo. It doesn't have sex with him, you do! And if you don't, whose fault is that! Go put on some sexy panties, and start turning him on. Then maybe he'll look at videos less, and you more!
2007-05-23 11:17:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Well..if you were doing your job as a wife your husband would no thave the need to look somewhere else! besides, what is mentally having an affair? pluuaaase, wake up and smell the coffee. did you just realize that men love porn? that we like to look at beatiful women, that we fantasize all the time about having threesome etc?
How open are you sexually? have you explore and experience with your husband? are you overweight, if you are why don't you loose some weight, dress sexy etc. how is your love life? how many times do you guys have sex a week?
why don't tell us exactly what you are not doing that is forcing your husband to look somewhere else. Poor guy!
2007-05-23 12:17:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
movies and porn are in the fantasy realm and no real threat... but what about the calls? is it a a real person, or a phone sex line? if it is a service line and, again, part of a fantasy world, relax! perhaps you should try to talk about it calmly, and see where it goes... he is not going to leave you for a magazine or a tv screen! I would be more worried about the apparent ( I assume) dishonesty than infidelity.
2007-05-23 11:21:37 · answer #5 · answered by michael 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If it bothers you, confront him about it. Let him know you know, and are not going to stand for it. However, don't spill the words unless you're willing to back them up with action. Threats don't mean a thing to anyone....consequences get attention. Decide what YOU want out of life, and go for it. If you can't stand this, you don't have to live with it.
2007-05-23 11:15:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Slap him-he''ll enjoy it. Just joking. It's hopeless. My dad had been looking at porn since it was invented. He's the best dam man you'll ever know even so. Some men cheat - all you can do is dump him or live with it. I'd dump him if you can afford.
2007-05-23 12:23:22 · answer #7 · answered by Tex 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
MENTALLY having an affair? I think ALL men would be guilty of this.
All men fantasize about someone other than their wife.
Welcome to the real world!
2007-05-23 11:33:44 · answer #8 · answered by mesquitemachine 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'd mess with his mind and he'd be feeling like a rat in a maze, running around and knowing there is no escape.
2007-05-23 11:16:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
All I can say is-- after that -- you will never have the 'loving feeling' towards him again-- when you look at him -- you will think pervert... cheater- nasty-
2007-05-23 12:43:52 · answer #10 · answered by ★★★ Katharine ♥♥♥♥ 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋