We have been married for 14 years. we have no friends to hang out with. I feel that one reason is that my husband wants it that way. The signs were there before we married but we were so much in love I couldn't see it. Here are just AFEW samples of incidents. We were on his boat, going to meet some of my friends on the river. As we found my friends on their boat, he wouldn't drive within 100 ft of them Other days he would get in verbal agruements with strangers as we were putting the boat in or out of the river. Claiming that they were taking cuts in line. Once we went camping with my friends, He bent my fingers back while hiking with them, saying I was walking too close to them. This behavior continues to this day. Once we went to an out door concert, Looking for a spot to sit, a woman was infront of us about to take a spot that looked good, John pushed her out of the way. Ruins vacations when we're with other people. He belives that he is justified for every incident. This is sad.
2007-05-23 11:09:28 · 12 answers · asked by DONNA T 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He needs long-term, serious psychiatric help. He has many issues including control, violence, jealousy, and anger.
If he will not seek counseling, then you need to end the relationship. He will end up hurting you badly one of these days.
Good luck to you.
2007-05-23 11:17:36 · answer #1 · answered by frankiquilts 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is desperate for control when he is out of control. My guess is that it has always been this way, although work or stress or age or whatever might be causing it. Why have you waited for 14 years? Things will not change unless you step in and change them. You don't have to tolerate this sort of childish and controlling behavior. Tell him one more time and you are gone, then do it! Trust me, there will be another time because he has learned for the last 14 years that he can do it and you will put up with it. Put your foot down, move out, and then perhaps he will either get a clue and fix it through counseling or medications, or he will let you go, either way you win.
2007-05-23 11:11:49 · answer #2 · answered by John B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like your husband, sometime the exhilaration one gets on an identical time as enjoying the organ is purely approximately religious. that's a time in which you grow to be one including your organ and the song you're making is the main stunning. i'm helpful you have reached an identical point of delight while he hums a melody on your attractive touchdown strip at evening, to lie there and revel in the song and the vibration that sends you over the sting. some human beings purely do no longer comprehend the exhilaration of the musical spouses.
2016-11-05 04:06:58 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is sad about this is that you are still there, taking his abuse and attitude!
People who are so rude and hostile are sick, and they have serious issues they cannot accept or control. Therapy or counseling might help, but only if he looks for it.
Sounds to me like you can see that you deserve better than this, but feel unable to walk away. Sorry. Things will continue like this until the day he dies, or until you decide to stand on your own two feet and fight for your sanity and happiness.
Perhaps you should go to therapy...by yourself. Maybe then you will be able to see why you let yourself be treated like this.Good luck.
2007-05-23 11:16:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You husband sounds like a real jerk. Problem is, I don't know how that's going to change. Expecting him to change isn't going to help, it'll only frustrate you. You need to decide if you love him enough to tolerate his childish behaviors, for the rest of your life.
I would also recommend some anger management classes. The fact that he bent your fingers back tell me he's extremely immature. Good luck.
2007-05-23 11:14:39 · answer #5 · answered by katydid 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My father has the same symptoms. He gets angry at random strangers for absurd reasons... I have yet to discover a way around it or to deal with it better. The best I've been able to manage is to try not to be the cause of the temper tantrums. That way he has less with me around. Everyone always asks me how I manage to get along with him so well. And my answer is that I let him be. I have learned to sense which things will provoke him and which won't so I try to diffuse the situation before he even has a chance to explode.
The one thing that you should never do is try to confront him about it. He will just snap at you. He won't process your words for a moment longer than is enough to get him angry.
I hope things get better for you. I really can offer no other advice.
2007-05-23 11:21:20 · answer #6 · answered by Magina 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
John has a BIG problem and he needs counseling. If he would have bent my fingers back I would have bent his ***. You need to tell him that he needs to seek anger management and if he doesn't want to do that head to the courthouse. He has control and anger issues that need to be resolved as soon as possible. Good Luck!
2007-05-23 11:13:57 · answer #7 · answered by Hoping he will bless me with #1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop having your life ruined!!!! It will not change. You need to leave him. Divorce is scary, sad and hard to get through. But it is time for you to have this burden off your shoulders and start to LIVE! Don't be afraid of being single. Your life will start to be good and free again!! Good luck.
2007-05-23 11:44:11 · answer #8 · answered by jam2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like that sorry bastard of a father that I had. Get away from him, go to a domestic abuse shelter. My father ended up killing my Mother, his Mother, and my Brother. I have nightmares to this day, I'm 51 years old and still have nightmares from his abuse. Please, for your own sanity get out!! Call the police and they will take you to a domestic abuse shelter and you can start a new life
He will brain wash you into thinking that you cannot survive with out him
2007-05-23 11:16:50 · answer #9 · answered by Cheryl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You KNEW this BEFORE your married him and MARRIED HIM ANYWAY, and THEN you have put up with it the last 14 years. So you arent exactly innocent in all this. Tell him it's time for counseling for his temper or time for a divorce, his call. he must choose.
2007-05-23 11:14:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋