What do you think about being a traditional wife?

Question

Ok My question that I'm debating with some of my friends is this.
I think that if the man WORKS (remind you that I say works) the woman should do the house work; cleaning, laundry, ironing, cooking, dishes. I think that it should be this way.
BUT
If the man and wife work, but the man works 12 hour days 6 days a week and gets home around 10:00pm, and the wife works 40 hrs per week and is home by 5:30pm then the wife should still do the house work right? I think so. See that is my situation. My friends say I do too much because I work too but I dont think so....I just want to hear what complete strangers have to say about it...Kinda fun to know other peoples opinion. Thanks!

Oh and my husband feels this way too. Is he wrong?

He works 10am-10pm

Answer 1

Yes, I think you are rare and you are RIGHT. I, too, believe in the traditional roles for women and if you are working less hours than hubby, then you should take care of the housework. If, however, he is working the same hours as you, then you should split the housework and share equally. Also, he should probably be doing some things around the house......you know, taking out the trash, doing yard work, other men's duties so you don't have to do everything. The good thing is that you and your husband both agree on your arrangement and that's great and ...... also rare. :o) Good for you! Sounds like you have a good marriage.

Answer 2

First of all your question is regarding a traditional wife. The "traditional" wife stays home, and the husband goes to work. So to begin with you are not a "traditional wife". So get that point across to your husband.

If your husband gets home at 10:00 p.m. every night 6 days a week then he is really to tired to do any housework. All he want is to eat dinner, and chill out.

Since you also have a full time job, then you come home prepare dinner, your day is very full too.

So what I would suggest is that you both share in the housework, on the weekends. I also would suggest that during the week you both pick up after yourselves. Such as hanging up your clothes, throwing your stuff in the hamper. Clear off the table together every evening. You should also use plastic plates and cups. So that you can just dispose of them in the garbage.

Another idea, is to get a "slow cooker" this way you can prepare your meals for dinner. Put it up in the A.M. keep it on the low setting, and when you get home you have your dinner prepared. You can make soups, chicken or meat with vegetables. This way you can always throw in a load of laundry, when you get home instead of having to prepare dinner. What is wrong with buying "take out food" for dinner once or twice a week.

Also buy wash and wear clothes that do not need Ironing, and the other clothes give to the cleaners. Basically you are two hard working people, and this will make your lives much easier.

The days that you are home together, you can share in the vacuuming, and dusting. It will get done in not time, if you both pick up after yourselves during the week as I suggested. Things will not pile up. Also, why not get cleaning help for the heavy cleaning. This way you can spend your free days enjoying eachother, and getting reaquainted. Sound like you both can use a liitle fun in your lives. "All work, and no play, makes John a dull boy"

I gave you some Ideas, but whatever works for the two of you is the BEST ANSWER.

Sure hope I gave you good Ideas.

Answer 3

This one is a delicate situation. Because every marriage works differently. Now a days men are taught from there now more modern mothers to help around the house as much as the girls do. Lots of men get married with this on there mind. That even if they work and there wife doesn't they could still spare a few in the laundry and dishes or so. Now there are also a lot of men who still run the old fashion ways. Which if the woman is up to that kind of job. There should be no problem. Lots of men prefer there wives to be at home doing the "chours" because they just don't like to do it. But i am a stay home wife, mostly because i have a baby. And no matter how much time during the day i have i cannot clean up my whole house every day with out feeling i am neglecting my kid. My husband still agrees in helping me around the house even though i do not work. But as he says, i am the one at home soo i should do most the work. Which is right just because i am at home and i am at the house more hours than he is. Now if i worked "how i use to before my daughter was born". I'd get in fights because he wouldn't help. I'd do everything, i do have a problem with a man who wishes not to help knowing the woman is giving her contrabution in the $$. Now why not help in the home place too? But i think if you are working and doing yet all that work. And happy? Go for it. Just don't out do yourself. We get very little appriciation for our best efforts. One person can't always do everything alone.

^_^ friendly advice.

Answer 4

No matter how anyone responds to this question, this is based on personal preference and an agreement b/w husband and wife.
I don't care what year we are in, we all do not have to share the same views-whether it be sharing household chores or the woman takes care of it all herself.
I am a stay home mother of three and I handle the bulk of the household duties, and not b/c my husband forces me to, but it is MY choice. My children contribute to the housework, especially with keeping their rooms tidy, and my husband also contributes sometimes but I personally take care of the majority of the work b/c that's what I prefer. My husband manages the garden and the lawn on a daily basis and any handy jobs that are necessary also.
I do not find it acceptable when people tell others that they are wrong in choosing to take responsibility of the household chores when you are not aware of their situation. You are not aware that perhaps the woman happily does it and that the couple came to their own personal mutual agreement.
And if it works best in another couple's relationship to mutually share the household chores, more power to ya!
I don't condemn either choice because it is a personal choice and nobody should be judged for what they choose and what works best for their own personal life.

Answer 5

The point I always try to make to my wife and kids is if we all start are day at the same time then it should end at the same...unless it extends past the kids bed time. If I work 11 hours a day, my wife works 4 hours a day, and the kids are in school for about 6 hours per day then everybody should start doing their part around the house until it is done. If I get home before it is done then I help as well. I will also clean and do laundry at times when I am home and my wife and/or kids are not home.

Answer 6

What's his into work time and his clock out ?
Yes he works 12 hours a day, but what 6 to 6, 9 to 9 ?
May he gets off at 6 and waits to get home at 10 so you do all the work. My wife and I have had it as traditional as it gets. I've always worked salary, 8 to 5 and use to come home and helped . My daughters are now old enough to help with the chores. We've made an agreement. The and she take care of the inside and the garage and outside is all mine. Works good. If there is no outside work for you, that's great. He should try and help now and then. You deserve a break too you know.

Answer 7

I think that if you're comfortable with that then do your thing! Me personally, I work just like my husband does. He does works 10 1/2 hours per day, 4 to 5 days per week. I work 8 hours per day, 5 days per week with a hour lunch. Just because he works longer hours than you, or vice versa, that does not mean that he should be exempt for taking care of things at home. I feel that a married couple should share the responsibilities, that is unless one of them is not working. Say for instance, if you are wife that does not work and your husband is the sole provider I think the wife should cook, clean, etc. Even if the couple has children that's how I feel. However, the husband should still do something around the house. If it's nothing but taking out the garbage or going to the grocery store. Do I feel your husband is wrong for feeling this way, yes. You probably have him spoiled now so he is not going to ever do anything because, why? He feels he doesn't have to. But again, if you like it then your friends shnould love it.

Answer 8

Okay I would have to agree with you. Im assuming you dont have kids and neither do I. But most married people do so that adds a ton of extra household duties. Right now with just the 2 it is fine. I do all of the household chores except we both do the cooking because he is good at it and I get home later. But everything else including the yard I do. I enjoy a nice house and I am kinda a neat freak. Sometimes I am tired from work and just put it of until the weekend. But he never complains or tells me I have to do it. I just like the way our house looks clean.

Answer 9

My husband and I are in the same situation. He works two jobs and is never home. I work 8-5 M-F. We both pitch in on the housework and laundry. We have two small children and when I am not at work I am taking care of them. I do what I can when I am home in the evenings, but most of the work gets done on the weekends when we are both home. Evenings during the week, I run errands, make and clean up dinner for the kids, give baths, read bedtime stories, etc. So, if you have kids, then I think you should be sharing the housework. If not, then I see no reason why you shouldn't do it while you're sitting at home and he's at work.

Answer 10

I think that if you share the same view with your partner then it's alright for you. I personally am a SAHM and do most of the daily housework but my husband helps with things when I ask him. Mind you when we both worked outside the home we both shared in all the household duties. I think it's each persons responsibility to make sure a home is maintained and both parties need to share in getting the tasks done. It shouldn't matter how much someone makes or how much they work outside the home. It should be a partnership. Everyone needs time to relax so you each need to give the other that opportunity.