I cheated and now she claims she's pregnant?

Question

I cheated on my wife in a moment of weakness. I told her and we got counseling and are working it out, but now the girl I had sex with is claiming to be pregnant.I asked her to get an abortion, but she's in love with me and wants to have the child. I don't know what to do. My wife can't have babies and this will break her heart. Do I tell her? What about the girl? Do I take her baby and give it to my wife so we can raise it? Please help?

Answer 1

I've been through this from the other side. First, get the basics out to the way and deal with the 'claim' issue...get tested. If it's past first trimester, it may bee too late until the baby is born -- ck with her doctor. Do not depend on her version of what the doctor says, find out of yourself if she can be tested while in utero. If you cannot find out until the baby is born, this is going to be a much bigger challenge for all involved, because assumptions and plans will be made by the mother, as she hopes for the best. IDecide who you love, because this drives the next series of domino's that will fall. Decide this objectively (straight out, not based on guilt), then that becomes your anchor decision, from which all other decisions can be made. If the baby dictates who you love, then you have to go back to the first question and re-ask it of yourself --- who do you love? Forget all the extraneous factors and hypothetical situations that could play out. You know inside. Just answer that question, then at least you can begin to piece togeter the rest of the puzzle, knowing your 'anchor' decision has been made.

Answer 2

Tell your wife NOW! In the future, I suspect you will be getting hauled into court for a paternity test, child support and visitations. There's no way you can keep this from your wife nor should you try. She has a right to know.

The good news is if you are honest and continue trying to make the marriage work, you can also become a responsible parent and your wife can be a step-mom.

I doubt very much that any woman will be willing to give her baby to its father and his wife, but you can go through the courts and get visitation with your child.

Congratulations, you now have to be responsible for your screw up and the hurt feelings all around along with an innocent little baby.

Answer 3

It's not a puppy. Giving your wife a baby you created when you cheated on her would be a huge slap in the face to her. Add to it the fact that the baby's mom might not be so willing to just give you a child she wants and you can probably see that this isn't a viable a solution.

You gotta come clean with your wife. She's gonna find out anyway and it's better she find out from you. There's a very good chance it's not your baby anyway. Demand a paternity test as soon as it's born.

If it is your baby, you're gonna be on the hook for 18 years worth of child support and the mama is going to be in your lives for a long time. You need to realize that your wife might not be able to learn how to live with that. I couldn't.

Answer 4

If I were in your posistion I would the whole truth and be upfront with you wife. She has a right to know that you may have a child on the way from someone besides her. Also abiut taking the baby and letting your wife care for it all i can say is that probably wont go so well with the babies mother. if the babies mom does want to keep it and take care of it just make sure you be a man and take care of that child at all costs. because remember the baby didnt do anything wrong to not have a father in its life.

Answer 5

Your wife is NOT going to want this baby!!! If the girl doesn't want an abortion she will not give it to you and your wife!!

There isn't much you can do ... do you KNOW its yours?? You could wait till the baby is born and have a DNA test done - you may not have to tell her and have her worry for months and it not be yours. she might not even be pregnant. If she is in love with you she might be telling you this thinking you will tell her and you guys will break up-then you will be all hers!! I would wait it out a little and see what happens. Tell the girl she can do whatever she wants but you are staying with your wife no matter what. she might get the picture and drop the story (if it is one)

Answer 6

You want HER to kill your and her's baby because YOU did something stupid? How about THIS instead, TAKE your lumps like a MAN and LEARN from this mistake and do not do it again.Pay child support and try to be a father to the child.If you had NOT been screwing around you wouldnt be in this situation now.Murdering an innocent baby is NOT the answer.Think your wife would be upset if she has the baby?How much more would she be upset knowing you talked the girl who loves you inbto murdering it, a baby she can never have herself? Then as for the girl, I hope other women are reading this and arent stupid enough to have sex out of wed lock because you never know if he is really married or not, or whether he will dump you after doing you.

Answer 7

If this girl has fallen for you, do you really think she's going to GIVE you the baby to give to your wife. OMG...men can be so ignorant. (women too sometimes) Anyways...all you can do now is own up to your screw up. Your wife is going to be hurt. No way around that. That's something you should have thought of BEFORE You slept around on her. Bend over and take the Karma that's coming to you like a man....and let it all work out the way it will. You will get what you deserve, and hopefully learn a golden lesson in the process. I'd tell her. For me, I'd rather hear it from my husband than the ho that slept with him. Might as well stand and face the music, Buddy.

Answer 8

i hope your wife leaves you........ she deserves better than this!! as for this girl she and u had sex once and she is pregnant ( ya can happen ) but i think its to get you. how do u know its your baby if she has no morals to sleep with a married man she will probably do what she can to make more problems. if u came clean about cheating you have to tell your wife this too!!! as far as taking the baby from her most states wont take it u will get visitation and some states can but u in jail for cheating MICHIGAN its a felony. this baby is a part of the mom and if the mom has any mental and emotional problems she will and can pass to the child!! are u ready for all this.........well is your wife ready??? if she is and sticks by you you should worship the ground she walks on. you should spend the rest of your life making this up to her!!!!!!

Answer 9

I have read your other questions too. Are you trying to straighten this out long distance?
If your looking for some honest advise I'm going to offer it. You sound a bit too young and immature to be married in the first place. If this woman that you married really does not want to be with you anymore you need to let her go.
As far as the paternity matter goes, you will need to take a test to determine whether or not you're the father. If you are the father you will need to step up to the plate and support your child. When you get back from Iraq , you will need to be part of this child's life. Don't mess it up. It's one of the most important things you'll ever do.

Answer 10

You tell your wife if you guys are trying to work things out then it's best to be honest. She is going to find out no matter what you do so it will better coming from you then the other women. Their is nothing you can do if the other woman is pregnant, sometimes the mistakes you make in life stay with you forever. All you can do at this point is to be HONEST with you wife, and get a paternity test. Good Luck