my sister is graduating this weekend and my new husband and my 2 step children are going to visit my family that i rarely see due to the distance between us. like hundreds of miles. my husband has never met most of my family and i have been EXTREMELY excited about the vacation. Until recently, my husband has been making every excuse in the book as to why he doesnt want to go. he doesnt know them, it will be boring, a waste of money, he'll miss work, blah, blah, blah. my family is soooo excited to meet him and the kids. it just hurts my feelings that he is so mean. his family lives near us and we spend time with them all of the time. why doesnt he want to meet my family? if he loves me, he should want to make me happy, right? even if he has reservations....he should act like hes excited. i told him not to go if he didnt want to, but he was like "yeah, right" i'll never live that one down. but he has to understand that i want to enjoy time with my family and not be worried about him
2007-05-23 10:09:35 · 12 answers · asked by jenni 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He's jealous and feeling insecure. Acknowledge his fear in a positive way "honey it must be really scary to go into a situation where you don't know anyone and you think you might be judged" and then be on his side. "I promise you that I am there for you, and we will have a good time together. Why don't we plan some time just our family? And why don't we let the kids get to know their new family for a couple of hours and then we can spend some alone time?". Your new husband doesn't "have" to understand anything, he's entitled to feel out of place. Its your family and its your job to make sure he knows you are with him. With some sensitivity on your part this can be a good trip.
2007-05-23 10:17:44 · answer #1 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is embarrassed meeting your family.. he is divorced, got two kids, he knows he doesn't look like a very good catch. This trip is about your sister graduating. Go and spend time with your family, there is no need to worry about him, he will be just fine. Stop wanting him to put up a front and act all excited about something he does not care about and does not want to do. Be happy he is honest with you. One tell him.. "I would really like to make this trip all together, so I can show you all off, but if you really don't want to go and are going to be a drag about it, then stay home and get some work done." (I bet the kids don't want to go, and this could be another reason he doesn't want to go)
2007-05-23 10:20:09 · answer #2 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him flat out you're going with or without him.
Say, "Honey, I'm proud of you and I'd like to show you off and introduce you to my family...but if you refuse to go, I need to go for me..." and then STICK to it. Don't play his stupid back and forth game. You're just going to stress yourself out about it. I think he's being very immature and inconsiderate. But....that doesn't mean you should skip the visit because of it. And if he goes and sulks, make up your mind when you get on the plane, that YOU will enjoy the visit. Ignore him if he sulks....to acknowledge it will give him control to manipulate, and that would be a big mistake on your part. Maybe some day he'll grow up.
2007-05-23 10:16:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a man marries a woman and has never met her parents, it is both your fault. Neither of you had enough respect for your parents to seek a "token" permission to marry the daughter. I can see that he could feel the inquisition since he came with baggage. He automatically assumed your side of the family is enemy territory. It is very unfortunate that you either ignored this attribute of his or you turned a blind eye because you so desparately wanted to marry the guy.
2007-05-23 10:17:51 · answer #4 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's scared that he will leave a bad impression and make you look bad in front of your family. The most effective approach is to teel him you are going with or without him, and that you would very much appreciate him going. Then don't talk about it anymore util the day you are leaving. He will be consumed with guilt and want to please you.
If that doesn't work, threaten to "cut him off" if you know what I mean.
Good Luck!
2007-05-23 10:29:16 · answer #5 · answered by SmartAce 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey you are good enough to be a stepmom to his kids and that you take on that responsibility for them. SO the least he can do is meet and spend time with your family. and if he doesnt want to then too bad..thats the part of being married and caring for the other person....im sorry that you are having such a hard time of it
2007-05-23 10:18:22 · answer #6 · answered by debbie v 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the place did you get $20 million money from??? I`m quite specific tickets for 3 or how lots of his relatives is in the White living house isn't that lots. Plus, he pays along with his very own money. If i replaced into president, i could prefer to get out of the living house to boot and spend time with my relatives.
2016-11-26 20:48:27 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like fear. He needs to go and get over it. Enjoy your time with your family and make sure he's having a good time too!
2007-05-23 10:15:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is being very selfish, of course it is a little scary, but you will be right there with him, along with his kids. It is your family and you are looking forward to this so he should quit wining and go, everything will be fine
2007-05-23 10:17:57 · answer #9 · answered by Rosie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him he's going and if he ruins things for you, he's right, he will never live that one down and you'll make sure it of.
2007-05-23 10:24:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋