O.k. Well I am engaged to an amazing man but I worry a little about his health. He is retired military, just got out about 5 months ago after 23 years in. While he is in good shape and is still pretty active, he just doesn't have a lot of energy and can't sleep at night! His sex drive is also kind of low but that is the least of my worries when it comes to his welfare.
He is 43 and I am 22 so, I know he's not going to be bursting with energy like I am but I have tried everything I know how to do-Multi vitamins, healthy cooking, excersise, b-12, sleeping pills, melatonin... And he will NOT go to a doctor because he says he isn't sick. Ugh....Any suggestions? I love him and only want him to feel better.
2007-05-23 10:04:38 · 18 answers · asked by love_n_hate84 2 in Health ➔ Men's Health
Oh good Lord, maybe y'all are the ones who need to grow up. I was not COMPLAINING about how he is-It makes HIM unhappy! I just want to help him...Geez......
2007-05-23 10:09:09 · update #1
Damn, that is quite the age difference. That's probably why.
2007-05-23 10:06:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
It is possible that at age 43 he has slowed down a bit and sleep habits do change with age.
After being in the army for 23 years it takes a long time to adjust to civilian life. Some people never do.
. If you can't handle this, you., not he, has the problem.
I am sorry that I cannot be more gentle, but sometimes, that's the way it is.
2007-05-23 10:34:47 · answer #2 · answered by Barry auh2o 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The problems are largely psychological, He is probably still adjusting to retirement, and looking for something to make him feel useful again. The military was a huge part of his identity, but that is now gone. This worry and stress is likely what is lowering his sex drive. Most likely if he can find a new job or something to do that he can feel good about, his problems will probably go away. I would suggest having him talk to someone about it, but he is probably too proud to. Get him involved in habitat for humanity or coaching little league and stuff like that.
2007-05-23 10:12:06 · answer #3 · answered by Troy 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Its great to be in love but are you sure you want to spend the rest of your life nursing a grown up man that clearly has a medical problem (low sex drive, insomnia and weakness) but refuses to seek help?
Multi vitamins, healthy cooking, exercise, b-12, sleeping pills, melatonin.... PLEASE.
what do you do when your babies come? Nurse him along side them?
Do you have the strength it takes to sacrefice you life for another without going crazy in the process?
If he cares about you he should work with you on getting help from a doctor even if its just to make you happy.
22 is your prime for love, fun, freedom, happiness, laughter. You are the one to be pampered and nurtured.
Think about it.
2007-05-23 10:37:07 · answer #4 · answered by euphoria 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey you should ask him if he has rip,chest,or any other uper middle body pains....I'm saying this because have a triple bicuspid aortic valve disorder and i am always tired,my sex drive sucks lol,and if he has it he wouldn't know i have had it seance i was borne but in 85% of cases it develops in most men in there upper 30s and lower 40 and thay may not know about it for 5 to 10 years but it will slowly make him tired,his sex drive will diminish and he will start having rib/chest pains...it is a big deal if he does have it but dont freek out if he says he has the symptoms just take him to a cardiologist and get an ecocardiogram to see if he has any of the five aortic valve disorders
2007-05-23 10:26:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Getting him to a doctor is the only good solution. Also, was he in combat at all when in the military? If so, I think that post traumatic stress disorder is sometimes characterized by the symptoms you described. Might want to try getting him to see a therapist. Good luck!
2007-05-23 10:12:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just taking a wild stab here. Does he smoke cigarettes?
I quit a couple years ago. My horrible insomnia went away and my sex drive and energy level increased noticeably.
I also gained 30 lbs which I don't really need.
2007-05-23 10:18:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way for both of you to know exactly whats wrong with
him is for him to go to the doctor. Now since you're the woman in the relationship you're going to have to convince him with every bone in your body to get him to that Dr.'s office. I mean if you have to withhold sex from him, threaten to leave him, something. Because something could be seriously wrong and you don't want to wait until it's too late.
2007-05-23 10:12:26 · answer #8 · answered by MS.FABULOUS 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It seems as though he's fine and you're the one who thinks he has a problem. You said that he's in a pretty good shape and is active and then you say that he doesn't have a lot of energy. That is a contradiction. Perhaps you want him to do more active things with You? If so, just tell him.
2007-05-23 10:09:03 · answer #9 · answered by Chivalrous Chubbu 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
it could be post traumatic stress from being in the military and/or getting out after all those years....it is hard to adjust to :civillian" life. If he refuses to see a doctor, there is little more you can do other than what you are.
2007-05-23 10:08:40 · answer #10 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Provoke his needs, make make him want you.
Don't ignore him, but worry about him. Act seductive and when he wants refuse, give a lame excuse, your back hurts, period any thing. I can tell that you love him but in a relationship its 50/50 and if he doesn't try...well.
Hope your marriage goes well and congrats.
2007-05-23 10:12:31 · answer #11 · answered by jonny c 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋