I am fed up with a lack of communication from my bf and lack of interest in our life as a couple. I am close to up and going as i have been trying to express how i feel for nearly a year now (too long i know) but u gotta try havent u. I'm really close to getting my own place and finishing it ...but 6 years is a lot to give up or am i just wasting my life by sticking around?
2007-05-23 10:00:12 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you know i felt like this with my husband, i was bored of us never doing anything together or spending time as a couple. i always thought about getting my own place and finishing it, but we spent a week apart (he went away for work) and i missed him so much, that it made me realise we were meant to be and it was worth sorting out. maybe if you did the same you might have the answer you need?? It might help?
2007-05-23 11:02:04 · answer #1 · answered by LAURA L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Concentrate on you. Don't let him know when the other place is done, and when it is finished, time to sit him down. Until then see how it goes, don't nag him or remind him,. see what he does out of his own accord, or not as the case may be.
Tell him that there's no communication, and life as a couple...well, yeah. Tell him you've given him the space to use his own initiative, and that this relationship cannot work if you're the only one looking out for it.
Ask him if this is what he wants, cause it's not what you want, and that you are not going to be glue enough for two any more.
Based on what he says, be realistic, don't make excuses for him, and make your decision. Remember actions speak louder than pretty promises. Men seldom change but it's not impossible.
I had a similair situation with my b/f, and when I laid it out, he saw he could very well lose me that night, he's now much better cause he knows I am serious.
2007-05-23 17:11:44 · answer #2 · answered by Unicornrider 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yup, six years IS a lot of time. Before you bail, get a few sessions of counseling, and tell him that you are troubled, and you think your relationship needs some evaluation... that you want it to be better. If he won't go, go yourself. IF you find some answers, and they don't include him, offer again to have the counselor meet with you both. And make it a deal buster..."Either you and I go together to find out if/how we can be a more loving couple, or I figure you don't wish to be a better partner, and I'm afraid I cannot go on as it is." He bails, and you leave, but at least you and he, too, hon, are wasting no more time.
2007-05-23 17:07:56 · answer #3 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it takes two to make a relationship, and by the sounds of it, its you who is the only one trying. Don't feel you've wasted 6 years. But then you don't want to waste any more years. If your not happy then why stick around, it doesn't sound like there are any children involved,so it is easy to get away. Good luck on whatever you decide.
2007-05-23 17:06:31 · answer #4 · answered by Lisa T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing worse than sticking in an unfulfilling relationship for six years, is to stay in it for six years and one day! (Dr. Phil) Listen, if you think it's bad now, then by all means do NOT marry him! It won't change things, it'll just get worse. I think if he will not "hear" what you need from him, and you keep going without what you need to be happy, then it's time to get steppin! If you're fed up...then move on. You'll both be better off. He won't be nagged, and you will find what you really want!
2007-05-23 17:08:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
THEQUITE YOU ARE SOOO GOD DAM UGLY ID NEED YOU TO PUT A BAG OVER YOUR HEAD EVEN WITH PHONE SEX....errrr sorry about that...listen love get rid now he wil never change but only get worse .. disrespecrful not showing you enough attention .. he musnt appreciate you ... go and find someone who loves you more than you love them it always works better for women this way..been there done that worn the tshirt found this out the hard way xx
2007-05-23 20:36:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like it's time to cut your losses and move on. He doesn't sound like he's interested enough to keep things going, so there's really no sense in banging your head against the wall to make things work. GO ahead and find your own place, I guarantee that once you do, you'll have newfound energy and feel like a million bucks! You won't be worrying and trying all of the time, who wants that? Trust me on this....been there, done that =)
2007-05-23 17:15:14 · answer #7 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you do anything take a long hard look at your life and assess what you have to gain and loose by your prospective actions.. If you feel that you have nothing to loose then pack your bags and go right now! otherwise sit down with partner and tell him how you feel and talk it through!..
2007-05-24 06:31:12 · answer #8 · answered by robert x 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why waste 6 more years when you already know nothing has changed and he's not trying to make it better?
2007-05-23 17:30:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't hang around...otherwise you will wake up in a few years time thinking 'I have SO just wasted the last three YEARS'
You NEVER get it back. Don't waste a minute.
2007-05-23 17:05:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋