Have just found out that my husband bought a £95 bracelet (for cash) for a woman in Holland, flew over and took her out to lunch on her birthday and gave it to her.
He says she's an old colleague and she's sad and lonely because her husband died of cancer 18 months ago.
But he kept it secret from me. When I asked about it, he lied. I eventually found out because after 19 years of marriage something felt very wrong and I started looking through his papers / texts.
What do I do next?
2007-05-23 09:39:19 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Keep your temper, sit down with him and tell him that you know the truth. Even though, after 19 years of marriage, you shouldn't have to explain how something like that would hurt you, tell him again. If this old collegue was sad and lonely, I don't see how that would be ok for a married man to FLY over there and give her a gift. Have you known about her before? Or is this the first you're hearing about it? It's hard to know what to say, it's just very odd. Even if that was his intention, and that's only what he did with her, it's just very odd, and he shouldn't have lied to you. Calmy confront him with it, and go from there. I hate to be negative, but that is in no way right. Best of luck to you.
2007-05-23 09:49:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man I would kill my husband but that is just me. How would he take this if it was the other way around?? Would he consider you as cheating?? If so, then he was too. Where did he tell you he was going for that time period? He has a lot of lies piled in one. Did he stay the nights with her? I'm sorry but I wouldn't believe anything he says. 19 years is a long time to be married and I'm glad to hear you guys made it that far but you don't have to sit back and let him put someone else ahead of you. You deserve all his attention, not some other woman!!!!! You can either talk this out with him and be strong or you can be strong and go get an attorney. It will be hard to split after this long but you don't need a man like this. Good luck and I hope you get through this and are happy.
2007-05-23 16:54:15 · answer #2 · answered by Heidi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I call bullshit on this one. Lonely co-worker? Wow, that's a new one.. ha. He kept it a secret because it is NOT as sweet and innocent as he proclaims.. Otherwise, why the need to hide it. Since when does an expensive bracelet and dinner help heal a woman who "just lost her husband to cancer"???? Do you see the Forrest for the trees yet, my friend??? You can do one of two things.. either forgive him.. or let HIM go. That's entirely up to you.
2007-05-23 16:48:58 · answer #3 · answered by Christine 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
19 years is a long time. Ask him to go to counseling. Decide what you want to do if the worst is true. But definitely get an independent moderator to help you sort things out. Good luck.
2007-05-23 16:46:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk it out with him. Maybe he hid this from you because you would not approve. He could very well be telling you the truth now so I would look back at his history with you and keep an eye out for any changes in his behavior .
If he is cheating the truth will come out. It always does.
2007-05-23 16:46:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lady, if you buy this excuse from him, I got some oceanfront property in Arizona to sell ya! I'd let him know that I was not born yesterday, and he can knock it off with this woman, OR I will be taking half of everything he owns. The end.
2007-05-23 16:50:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Her husband died 18mths ago and she isnt over it yet? Ya right, he is cheating on you with her and I wouldnt believe any of his baloney. After 19yrs of marriage you deserve a fresh new start with a more respectable man.
2007-05-23 16:49:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Beat his *** and when he recovers either find a good marriage counselor or a good divorce lawyer. Lonely colleague my a**!
2007-05-23 16:44:04 · answer #8 · answered by ~Charity~ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be filing for divorce... An old colleague... my a**.
2007-05-23 16:44:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
unless he starts talking you may have to see a lawyer i hope not
2007-05-23 16:44:41 · answer #10 · answered by bigj 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋