How do most moms who don't have custody of their children feel?

Question

I feel sad and left out in that I can not do what a normal mother could for her children. When my daughter was with me last summer, I took care of her the way that I wanted. However, when I was married, my ex and his mother dominated what she wore and did. I was not the primary person who made decisions for the child.

My mother-in-law constantly felt that my child was her child. She said that my daughter was her daughter and that I could not make her hair. She also wanted to make all decisions regarding what my child would wear to parties, etc.

I really had very little say in my chlid's life. It was not a good situation then and is not now.

Answer 1

I have them say problem. Now my own daughter doesn't want to come over. My ex has her so brain washed. she thinks I dont love her or want to be with her, I am hoping when she is older she will see what he is doing. it is very hard and makes me feel like a terrible mother, I do have a son at home, who makes me feel better, he is always telling me he loves me. Hang in there!
Renne?? You are wrong. You dont know her and what she has gone threw. As for me I was married to a very controling man. Very controling!! That is how my daughter went to go live with him. I let him control my life my thoughts, Yes! my mistake. I dont know if you have ever been in a abusive relationship, but it makes people do things they normaly wouldnt do.

Answer 2

Oh, I'm so so so so sorry! You should never be made to feel this way. You had a child for a reason!! You are the MOTHER! You have say in everything and anything! Nobody can tell you what is right or wrong, your decision is alway the right one because you are the birth right mother!

You must be in your 20's, I wish I could be there to put sense into your mother-in-law! She'd sh it her pants!

Whenever you have visitation with your daughter, make it the best you can. Love her as you love the only thing that matters in your life! Your daughter will remember your love and hold it in her heart. She will grow up to know that her mother is genuine, truthful and loving!

Answer 3

My parents were divorced when I was seven and my father raised me. For many years my Mother and I had a rather distant relationship. Now that I am an adult we have become much closer. I think if you let your child know you will always be there for her and be as much a part of her life as possible she will grow up to love and respect you.

Answer 4

I am going through something extremely similar, only it isn't my ex mother-in-law doing it, it's my ex. My advice is to get legal help. YOU CAN, as her parent, dictate who she has contact with...even if it means having the courts do it. Believe me, I know, my ex dictated in our custody papers that my daughter was not allowed to spend more than one hour at a time with my mother. You could do the same with his mother if you feel that her presence and influence in your daughter's life is hindering the bond between you and your daughter.
Good luck to you, hon. You're in my prayers.

Answer 5

You feel like you are missing out because you are - that's why divorce is harder when children are involved - on the parents and on the children.

If you are not seeing her as much as you want then go back to court and get the visitation schedule redone. Your MIL can't tell you how to dress or feed or treat your daugher now when she is with you, right?

Answer 6

okay are you saying that sole custody is with your ex now? and why?.

Last time i checked grandpraents have no legal rights in the US to use such control.

Sounds like you need to stand up for what's your's, including your child.

Answer 7

Sorry but sound like a cop out. You had control with your daughter and you let someone else take over.

Answer 8

Not sad believe me!