I moved a year and half ago to be in the same town as my husband (1 hour away from my hometown). We now have been married for 9 months and I'm terribly missing my hometown. I have been pressuring him to move back there and leave his family and town behind. He seems okay with it, but I wonder if I am being selfish. I just don't feel like I fit in with his town and would be much happier back in my hometown. Am I being selfish for wanting this?
2007-05-23 08:32:36 · 43 answers · asked by Kelly H 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You aren't being selfish....you're just homesick....talk to him about it and maybe you guys can compromise!!!
Hope that everything works out chica!!!!
2007-05-23 08:38:05 · answer #1 · answered by ♡♥Poisonous Strawberry♥♡ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the reason you want to move is simply because you want to go back to your home town then yes you are being selfish. If you want to move out of the town you are in now because you don't feel as though you "fit in" well then literally you are also being selfish, but in this case i would say if you truly aren't happy there then your husband should what you to be happy. Which it sounds like he does because he is willing to move.
What you should really do though is compromise. Talk with your husband and see if leaving his home town is something he would end up holding against you in any way. If leaving is going to make him unhappy then you should really move to a place somewhere in the middle where it would be easy for you both to visit your own home towns.
In all honesty a marriage is about you and your husband. You should be able to live anywhere and still be happy because you are with him. Your marriage should be your first priority...unless you have kids then they should be your first priority and you and your husband should be your second priority. Find a place to live where you BOTH can be happy. I hope this is helpful to you. Good luck!
2007-05-23 08:48:08 · answer #2 · answered by An Aries Male 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you're not allowing yourself to enjoy his town because you're homesick. Sometimes when we're homesick it doesn't allows us to fully enjoy the atmosphere and the sparks that come with it. But, if you feel that you really put enough effort, then I don't think that makes you selfish. Especially if you have the financial means to make the move, otherwise, I would suggest you wait. Also, if your Husband agrees to the move then I say why not. At the same time, be sure to visit his folks every now and then so he'll also have a sense of warmth for now you know all too well that there's no place like home!
2007-05-23 08:54:39 · answer #3 · answered by Yahoo Anwers 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that you're being selfish at all. You tried it for a few months and it's just not working for you. Now, your husband is willing to move for you, know that when he gets the same feeling, that you would have to find a common ground.
you have to ask yourself, what is it that's making the whole move uncomfortable for you? of course you'll be happier in your hometown! That's natural... you have to realize that at some point, you'll have your own family and you need to find a neutral place to call home.
2007-05-23 08:41:15 · answer #4 · answered by crzy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Write a list of the benefits of moving to your town versus staying where you are, including which town is better for housing, restaurants, etc. Don't forget moving costs. Then write down your emotional reasons for wanting to move back. Have you really given this town a chance?
If he's ok with it...then why not...
yes, you are being selfish, but maybe it is that kind of selfishness that leads to a happier life for both of you.
2007-05-23 08:39:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats really a matter of oppinion. Some would say you are being selfish and Someone would say you are not.
I know how you are feeling though. My fiance was from tenessee and he has work there still, good money. But I have no desire to live in tenessee, and I told him that. I kept thinking about it, and I figured i was being selfish.
But it is really up to you to decide if you are being selfish. It really is a hard decicion to make but it something you have to decide with your concience and your husband.
In time a place will grow on you if you make an effort, and it can become just as much home as your old home town. I know this from experience.
2007-05-23 08:39:57 · answer #6 · answered by Chriss G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course Kelly, you are selfish!
Remember, if you expect your husband to keep adjusting with you, there will be time when he will want to put his foot down but will have no space for that and then you will find yourself in a gr8 soup by whatever he will do after it!
To prevent such a situation, try to adjust with him at this time. May be, if you get to know his town, you will start liking it!
Your husband has agreed just because he does not want to hurt you, but should you also not care for his emotions? When You care for each other, relation is balanced not otherwise!
2007-05-23 08:50:15 · answer #7 · answered by Dr. Rekhaa Kale 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I moved 18 hours away from my family/hometown to be with my husband. Sometimes things aren't easy, but you do it because you love the other person.
Love is give and take.... if you don't get the right amount of each the relationship is doomed.
2007-05-23 08:43:23 · answer #8 · answered by Nikki 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thing is he could end up feeling the same way about the place he is from. You need to make sure neither of you end up resenting the other. An hour away from your hometown isn't too far. I moved 5,500 miles to be with my husband.
Is there no way you could live between the two towns then neither of you would be too far away from your home towns?
2007-05-23 08:36:35 · answer #9 · answered by Twinkle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. I feel you should not be pushing the issue so much. Now that you are married you are part of his family. If you make him leave his family that means you are leaving your family too. Give it time. You are not that far away. Most of my family is over an hour or more away. If you truly love him you will stick it out a little more.
2007-05-23 08:42:39 · answer #10 · answered by sis74100 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Part of a marriage is sacrifice. Maybe your husband would feel the same way, that you feel now, if you moved back to your hometown. Put yourself in his shoes and then talk about.
2007-05-23 08:36:02 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋