how do i teach my 11 month old the meaning of NO?

Question

He always goes for the things we tell him no to. The bookshelf to pull down books, the entertainment center cupboards, climbing the stairs, toilet paper... I tell him no and slap his hand. sometimes he cries, sometimes not. When i say no, sometimes he laughs!! But when i start walking near him he'll run away from what he's doing cuz he does know he's not supposed to be there. But he always goes back!!! How do i teach him better?

He'll go to something he knows he shouldn't and turn around to see if i'm watching him and if i don't say anything he'll continue, if i go after him, he walks away but just no itself is kinda meaningless to him i think. We do this 10 times a day with mainly 3 different things each! He's got lots of toys but wants what he can't have.

Answer 1

You are doing the correct thing; just be consistent. If you want your child to obey you when you use a nice tone of voice, then you need to use that nice tone of voice EVERY TIME then discipline EVERY TIME when he does not obey. Giving his hand a smack at this age is appropriate. When he runs away from the item when you approach him, give his hand a smack anyway - obviously he is remembering the rule, but choosing to not obey.

Here's the thing: if you will work on this now, then when he is 2 you will have a delightful lil boy. If you ignore this now and do NOT teach him to obey while it is easy-but-time-consuming, then he will have the 'terrible twos' because his disobedience will be so much more firmly engrained.

If it were EASY to teach obedience, then ALL parents would do it, and you wouldn't read about people's 3, 5, 10, and 15 yo's being out of control. So don't expect this to be easy. I can just tell you, it will be easier right now than next year at this time.

For every little smack you give his hand now, you are probably saving yourself [and him] ten spankings later.

Remember that all you can control is YOUR action, not his. He disobeys - you give a reprimand and a little smack. If he disobeys again, that is HIS CHOICE, and he needs to be disciplined for this choice. Take the time NOW to train him, and you will NEVER regret doing so. Hardly anyone trains their small children to obey. I did at 1, and my kids have had exemplary behavior for the last decade because of it. There are SO MANY issues we do not face because they learned very early to obey mom the first time when she speaks nicely with a big smile. We are so close as a family because the kids are pleasant and agreeable.

Answer 2

Babies his age need a lot more physical direction than verbal direction. Their speech and language development is still quite undeveloped and he really will not know what "no" means for a while yet. You are better off eliminating "no" from your interaction with him. Try this instead: Your son is at the bookshelf ready to pull the books down. You go over to him and say, "Steven, these are books for mommy and daddy. You may not play with them." You then pick him up and go to where his own books are. Say, "Steven, these are your books. Let's read this one about trucks." You will have to do this over and over again. The best way to teach your son that you mean what you say is to be positive, consistent, and repetitive. Some things may require being put out of reach for awhile. He unrolls the toilet paper? Keep the door to the bathroom shut or put the toilet paper off the holder and on the back of the toilet for awhile. He does not know the meaning of the word "no" quite yet so that is why sometimes he laughs and sometimes he cries when you tell him that. It becomes a game for these little ones to see what kind of reaction they can get when they do something. That is how they learn about the world. If he climbs the stairs, put up a gate. You can buy safetly latches for cupboards and some kids need them. I suggest that when you catch him doing something he shouldn't, physically remove him from that area to another area and engage in an appropriate behavior. Distraction is a suitable method of discipline for the first few years of life. Toddler naughtiness often has one of two reasons behind it. Either the offensive behavior is being done because the little one is curious (what happens to these books if I pull them off the shelf?) or it is an attention getting method (I think daddy will come after me if I pull these books down). Guide his curious nature as much as possible since crawlers and toddlers have a knack for getting into all kinds of things you'd never think would be of any interest to them.

Answer 3

The best thing is to be consistant. Kids that age do know. They are also still learning their boundries. It is going to take more than once of saying no, and it might take more than 10. Just be consistant, and he will learn that those things are a NO all the time. Wait until they get to be "smart about it"...my two year old will grab say one movie off the shelf...I will tell him no, so he will put that one back and leave for a while, then come back and grab a different one....never the same one, and he won't touch that one again. He remembers he had that one, so that is a no, but mom and dad didn't say anything about the others....its kinda funny, but a pain at the same time....consistancy is key.

Answer 4

There are two keys to teaching children as young as your son. The first is consistency; once you start a specific plan of action...stick to it! The second is to keep in mind what he wants the most is your attention. To simply disengage from him or stop interacting with him has more power than any artificial consequence you can create.

What worked with my daughter was to simply pick her up and remove her from the room. I didn't tell her no, or try to distract her, or specify a certain amount of time to be spent in 'time out'. Instead I would just carry her to a back bedroom, put her down facing the wall, and walk out of the room. She was free to follow me back to where the family was at her discretion. When she emerged, everyone acted like nothing had happened...she was asked what she was up to and immediately interacted with and engaged in some activity. But when or if she returned to the off limits behavior (i.e. cat's water), I'd simply repeated the previous scenario of picking her up and carrying her to a back bedroom. No words were ever exchanged, no fuss was made, I never chased her away from something as all those things focus my attention on her and engage her in interaction with me. It only took two or three times before she would get the idea and stay away from or out of the item or area that was off limits.

Of course, at this age they have a limited capacity for self control. The other side of the coin is to be sure that you have made an effort to give him a safe play area where there are at most three to five things that are off limits. Install baby gates, cupboard locks, etc. It is your responsibility to keep him safe as his self control is still developing.

I've listed the book I got the particular method I described above from in my sources. However, I don't subscribe solely to one particular "method" of parenting, have read numerous books, and prefer to use the strategies that seem to work best with my daughter's personality.

Answer 5

I think maybe there are too many things he's not allowed to do. If there are less rules, it's easier to obey them all. My two year old didn't listen much at that age either so we put up some gates to stop him going into parts of the house where he shouldn't (like the stairs,) and we moved all the books and ornaments we don't want him to touch out of his reach. We put child-proof fasteners on a lot of the drawers and cupboards. You can buy a bunch of kid proofing stuff at sears or Wal Mart or wherever.
I don't EVER slap him unless he's about to do something REALLY dangerous and won't listen. Firstly, slapping them teaches them that physical violence is okay, and second, they stop feeling the slaps if you do it too often. If you say "no" too often they don't take much notice either. Try being a bit more specific. Say "don't touch" or "hot" or "Dangerous!", etc.
He's a bit too young to understand anyway at this point but he'll get it soon. If he really does seem to know that what he is doing is wrong you should try giving him "time out" for a short while or taking his favourite toy away. Just make sure he DOES understand why he's being punished.

Answer 6

Buy a small wind-up kitchen timer.
He has lots of energy and loves the attention. When he does something he has been told "no" about a couple of times, take him to his crib or play pen for a time out. Explain to him in a calm voice (as though you were talking to a ten year old,) that the reason you don't want him to--name the behavior--is that, he will hurt himself or whatever. Tell him that he must learn to obey you, and that you are going to leave him here to play/rest for a few minutes.
Tell him you will come and get him when the timer goes off. Set a kitchen timer for 2-3 minutes, (no longer,) and tell him he has to stay there until the bell goes off. Leave the room and come back when the timer goes off. (He needs to see the timer and it needs to be the same amount of time every time. He will grow to hate the timer and won't get so angry at you.)
Chances are the first couple of times, he will still be crying when you come to release him from the crib. Pick him up and sooth him and take him back to where you were before and offer him an acceptable activity--a toy or playing with a family member.
NEVER threaten to use the timer and not follow through. He needs to know that you have drawn a line and crossing it means consequences. Every time.
In time, you will be able to say to him, "Do you need a time-out?" and he should self correct. Part of the goal is to get him to choose to obey.
In the beginning there will lots of wailing, flailing, screaming, but it will work if you stick with the program.
If you can stay calm and get this point across now, he will come to learn the difference between discipline and punishment and will be easier to live with as he ages.

Answer 7

You are teaching him. The trouble with babies is they are programmed to push boundaries. It's not that he doesn't know what 'No' means. He just needs to understand that it always means 'No'. Every time. No exceptions. If you think you need help reinforcing the message, you might consider using baby sign. The sign for no is holding your right hand out palm facing him and moving it from left to right. Always say the word as you sign.
My daughter is 16 months and when we said no to her when she was 11 months, she'd often sign 'No' back as she knew she'd just done something she wasn't supposed to. Of course, that didn't stop her trying it again 10 minutes later. It's all about perserverence I'm afraid. Good luck.

Answer 8

Sounds like you are doing the right things, it takes time and consistency. Tell him NO very firmly and move him away from whatever he is getting into. If possible gate him off from those things, we have several large play yards that we use to gate our daughter from things like my computer desk and the entertainment center. I have an 18 month old in my in-home daycare that STILL thinks it's funny when you tell her no...it just takes time and patience.

Answer 9

Honestly, when you find that answer out, let me know. My 4 y/o still wants to press my buttons when I say no!! I usually take the child away from the situation and get his attention on something else. They become immune to the word No. I also say, yes, honey that's the TV, but it's a no no..let's play with the train.

Answer 10

only asserting 'no' would not prepare something. you're able to be able to desire to describe WHY some issues are risky. She will possibly no longer yet say many words, yet she only approximately rather is conscious maximum of what you assert. She's additionally probable truly trouble-free to distract at this age. So rather of asserting, 'No!' whilst she's mountaineering, say, 'i'm demanding you are going to harm your self in case you climb like that. enable's come across a solid place to climb accurately...' and then take her to a mountaineering physique, or a chair, or a stool which she will climb accurately. babies could desire to verify and guidance gross motor skills which comprise mountaineering so she needs places she will do so with out risk. it would additionally be a solid thought to re-set up her toys so as that if she does climb, she would be waiting to no longer harm herself. you are able to placed some toys precise out of ways in severe cabinets if she's no longer fidgeting with them plenty, or no longer taking part in accurately, yet she could desire to have the skill to attain any of the toys that are out or which she will see. She's far too youthful to have the reasoning skills to think of, 'Oh this is on a severe shelf and that i might have issues if i attempt to attain it'. whilst a baby that age is crying, this is through fact she needs (or needs) some thing, and is no longer yet in a position to talk even though it truly is. coaching somewhat sign language could nicely be useful, and of course whilst she cries you are able to ask her - does she desire a drink? A snack? might she prefer to bypass exterior? many times by way of a 365 days babies use diverse sounds or expressions for various needs, and a few form of gesturing to coach what they desire, and as she gets extra verbal this is going to alter into extra straightforward to understand. If she has hyper dispositions, you should additionally be sure that each and every thing she eats or beverages is organic/organic and organic/organic - no ingredients in any respect, no sugar, no subtle starch, no pre-processed packaged produce.