What is a fair amount to charge for child support?

Question

When me and my ex got divorced 5 years ago we agreed on $400 a month for our 2 kids. Since then he has gotten a new job that makes alot more money. i increased it to $500 a month. That was several years ago. I know he has gotten some nice raises since then and he wont tell me what his income is. His girlfriend told me that his "take home" after taxes and health insurance is about $1300 every two weeks and he also has a part time job on the fire department but that income depends on how many calls he goes on and I dont know what he gets for that. He also just started his own paintball field with his brother and I know that as of right now they are not making anything cause they are still sticking money into it. Im not trying to be greedy but he has always had the privelage of seeing the kids whenever its "convenient" and has not had to be a father to them when he didnt want to be and when he does have them he leaves them there with his girlfriend and doesnt spend any time with them.

I am not putting a price on the kids heads and just for the record, i am happily remarried, I pay half the medical bills, all the expenses that the kids need like school lunches, clothes, field trips, school events. gas money and spending money for my 16 year old. AND i am still friends with my ex. It is not a "revenge" motive. I just want him to be fair with me.

My ex lives 3 blocks away and can see the kids when ever he wants to. We have no set visitiation schedule. i have never told him he cant have the kids when he wants them. The problem is he never takes them and i have let him have this arrangement all along. I simply wanted to know if you thought the amount of child support was fair. Not to judge me as a person or a mother. My kids are happy and well adjusted and i never discuss issues with them such as child support and when they come to me and ask for money or for me to buy them something and I tell them "I dont hav ethe money" I never blame that on the child support I recieve nor do I tell them to ask there father for the money.

I let him claim one of the children on his taxes.

Answer 1

I think 500 dollars is enough you could be like me and not have anything coming in at all and still have to pay all the bills and buy everything that they want and need and have the retard ask you why is the phone off at the house (we have cell phones) I understand your frustration but maybe go to him since you all are still friends and see if maybe he will help out with some of the othe expenses like if your oldest son is into sports have him pay the fees for that or have him pay for say allowences that the children may get and let that be the way for him to pay for his children on top of what he already does.

Answer 2

Child support should not be contingent on seeing the children. Nor should you be entitled to anything but the amount the he agreed to. You should not be entitled to any of his progressive earnings or his ability to earn more money. Him earning more should not be divided with you as when you divorce the share and share alike at 50% stops. I think it is appauling that men have been raped over and over because of women that believe that once married they are entitled to a percentage of the mans well being for ever. I think that is one of the biggest reasons for the breakdown in the family today. All of the little things that people claim today even irreconcileable differences, the women marry for the dollars. I think it is disgusting that people use their children in this way and it only teaches the children how to do the same thing. If women had the guts to finish what they start and mean what they say then our children would finish high school and go to college. They would do their homework and obey the rules but look what they learn and when the parents use the other to blame their downfall as parents towards the children because they will not stand up and be counted is cowardice. To prohibit a man from seeing his children because of the dollar is something I sure would want my children to see and learn. Takes all the value out of the things that we used to say was the most important of all, love , happiness, nurturing has all been turned into pay per view just like the rest of society.

Answer 3

First of all I'd say your looking at it all wrong. You should say what amount sounds reasonable for each of us to put in the bank for our children to use for the things kids need not necessarily want. Utilities are bills that each party in the divorce has and are used by the children when they visit between homes (rent, food,electric, heat etc.) they are each parties responsibility to provide to their children when they come to stay. Each of the parties should be putting away the same amount in that separate bank account for the kid's unexpected needs not their wants. Don't keep looking at the other parents income and using the needs of children for increasing the amount you get, take a real look at the support being claimed by exwifes they drive new cars, own a home, party and leave the kids at grandma's or worse yet make dad the convienent place to dump the kids when it serves there purpose. As for the wants of the children as each party gets there own lifes better off they will each make better income and the children will benifit with to great parents who both have input,responsibility, and love them very much.

Answer 4

sounds like you still have some unresolved anger towards him. you want him to treat the kids well but that isn't going to happen by making him pay more money. If you are comfortable and the kids are taken care of then you shouldn't increase it. If you are struggling and kids are going without basics then you can have a mediator help to talk about what the kids need. it is best to have documentation, receipts and budgets as well as estimates of expected expenses. I feel like you are hurt he is moving on and trying to work hard for his future and maybe you have a bit of anger that you aren't able to because (though you love them so much) the kids are holding you in a mother mode not a woman mode. Be sure you get time to yourself and do fun things for you, you owe it to your kids and yourself to be happy. even a 1/2 hour a day or every few days or and afternoon out. Your ex is responsible for childcare too so be sure you can get that split between you both when you have work or something going on. remember he wasn't right for you and start to learn how to make your own life shine too. he may have left you and the kids and leads a profitable life with another woman but YOU need to let him go and love yourself and the kids enough to make a good life, a happy life for you 3.

Answer 5

It should be decided by a judge. When you got your divorce the judge and lawyers calculate child support with a formula that is state enforced. It has to do with the both of your incomes plus expenses for your children. If you want more take him to court. And the part time job has nothing to do with the child support least in Indiana it doesnt. I have two jobs and custody of my child. My lawyer told me they only use the primary job as the income. Not that it matters since my exhusband hasnt paid child support since last October.

Answer 6

Hes getting off real lucky here. Country average for child support is around 600 a month per child. So maybe its time to tak him back to court for readjustment of support amount and just maybe this will make himwant to spend more time with his kids to get his money worth, sort to speak. Child custody and support are the 2 things you can petition the courts for a remodification hearing on after the final decree. Good luck

Answer 7

By the way you have chosen to present the situation, it seems you have not found your peace with your Ex. Ma'am its all over now, so why continue with the blame game?

My sincere suggestion to you is that you should think rationally about the needs of your children and then arrive at a figure that keeps into account their needs and your desires of what standard of living do you want to provide your children for them to grow up as healthy and positive adults.

Please dont get carried away by what he earns. Do whats best for your children .

Answer 8

Uh, Dillhol obviously doesn't know what he's talking about! Child Support helps the mother to support the children and the mother has every right to go the court and ask for Child Support Modification. Children get older and their needs change. My Mother had to work two jobs to support my brother and I because of a cheap father who decided he wanted to make another family and threatened to leave them too if they didn't behave to his liking! Do what you need to do for your kids and don't worry what any one else thinks, this is your family not theirs. You do claim them on your taxes right? Don't let him claim them on his.

Answer 9

First of all.. the two of you setting an amount is only going to lead to trouble. Since it's not court documented.. he doesn't have to pay you anything. Go to your local child support office and set it up to go to court. Let the judge in the case review his financial records and make a decision. That way, if he starts trippin and acting like he doesn't want to pay.. it's ordered. And, he will go to jail. Don't know what state you are in but in our state it's only 1/3 of the person's income that you are entitled to. Educate yourself and take him to court.. Best of luck.

Answer 10

Depending on your income and state guidelines, I would figure about $900 month for two kids, especially if he is claiming one on his taxes. But the problem with raising support is the payer will quit his job and hide his income and you will see nothing... happens all the time. So you need to decide if it is worth the fight...