My husband who l love dearly got into some trouble and may be facing incarceration any suggestions on how to deal with it if, if the worse should happen? Has anyone went through this or does anyone have a spouse who is currentley incacerated and how are you dealing with it?
2007-05-23 06:56:44 · 8 answers · asked by its just me 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No I don't mean BABY DADDY I mean husband/spouse like I said.......
2007-05-23 07:05:06 · update #1
I dealt with it and it wasn't easy. I had at the time small children and between running to visits, sending money and food packages, accepting collect calls, as well as sending care packages and clothing, I was exhausted mentally and physically.
At the time that I was going there was a great program that gave support and provided transportation to and from the prison - you met at a centralized location and were dropped back off at this point.
I became involved with them and it helped me to breeze through the time and the timing of all that I had to go through. They also assisted volunteers with transportation, advocacy for the prisoners, help for the children during the holidays and babysitting services. I went back and forth for eight years and I brought my children with me occasionally.
Being able to see him, talk to him and touch him was great, but it was always hard to say good bye and the nights alone - were real lonely - so I took classes and did other things to fill in that time.
I got through it all the good, the bad, and the ugly - it is all a matter of what you set your mind to do and if you could leave all of the distractions and naysayers alone and out of your business.
It is hardwork doing this it take commitment, strength, endurance, emotional roller coastering, and it is hard on the family, the pocketbook and you and him. I don't wish it on anyone.
I know that it is different and that things have changed from when I was visiting in the 1980's but I believe that it is basically the same and you are at the hands of the rules and regulations set by that penal institution and its offices. Visitations have changed and what you can do on a visit or send to a inmate all have changed from the time that I was going so it may be better or much more different from what I had to endure.
Also, I know that you meet a lot of different individuals, cultures and attitudes as well as you are at the hands of the authorities and those who are officers of that penal institution and how they sort of treat you like an inmate. As I said, it has it good and its bad but you can do it if you set your mind and your heart to it. Take time for yourself because it is a lot to contend with.
2007-05-23 07:15:24 · answer #1 · answered by justaboutpeace 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I delt with it for almost a full year. It was a very hard time for the both of us, but my husband especially. While he was incarcerated all he had to think about was me and what I was doing. Best advice I will give you on this issue. Act like he is still around you, and laying in bed with you at night. Dont start feeling lonely and talk to other guys that could make your husband feel a little bit jealous or suspicious on what you are actually doing. The phone bill will be pretty expensive, but it will all even out. Remember nothing in life is easy, it is going to be very hard on him, and you will both change. Write every other day so you dont drift apart.
Don't sweat anything else someone says that might offend you. As far as we know he could have gotten in a terrible fight trying to defend you and the children. We dont know the situation, you love him for a reason. EVERYONE makes mistakes, it's just a matter of learning from them
2007-05-23 07:03:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've known people who were married/ or dating someone who became incarcerated. The only thing I can suggest to you is get ready to come visit on visiting day, write letters, and accept collect phone calls. Other than that, there is nothing that you really can do. Best of luck.
2007-05-23 07:00:42 · answer #3 · answered by Christine 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My neighbors husband is for drugs. She says she loves him and will wait for him. Meantime, she sold their house, moved back home, and is going to school to become a nurse.
2007-05-23 07:00:50 · answer #4 · answered by luckford2004 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt know the first thing to tell you. Although my step-brother is in jail. I know not even close to what you are feeling.
2007-05-23 07:01:31 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello, divorce him. Why would you even want to be married to a criminal.
2007-05-23 07:02:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You mean they are going to burn him to cinders? Oh, wait, that's incineration.
2007-05-23 06:59:32 · answer #7 · answered by OC Boarder 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you mean babydaddy... not spouse
2007-05-23 07:03:09 · answer #8 · answered by bettiewoeswoes 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋