Would you be able to forgive him & take him back & be ok with knowing he has a baby w/some other woman who is gonna be in his/your life for 18 yrs??? Omg...I couldn do it!! Could you?
2007-05-23 06:41:45 · 43 answers · asked by Redd 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't think that I could ever forgive that. I'd think about it every time I looked into his face. I think I'd hold it against the child, even though the child is TOTALLY innocent.
2007-05-23 06:45:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
I would'nt do it. If my husband cheated and the other woman ended up pg, I would tell them both to go to h***!!!! There's no sense in that. IF I was able to forgive him, I would'nt be ok with the baby and the other woman. Because he could say he's going to go see the baby, and next thing u know it could happen again. I would have to say that if he wants to see the baby, both would go so that the other woman would'nt have a chance in trying something with him again. If he does'nt like that then I would be saying leave, don't come back, and I'm filing for divorce.
2007-05-23 06:51:06 · answer #2 · answered by don't know me 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow this is a really tough one. Funny thing is that i'm gonna get married in Sept with my bf of 4 yrs and we're expecting in October. I love him SOOO MUCH!! i probably would kill him for cheating but the thing is that not only did he cheat- he left evidence behind A PREGNANT WOMAN>??? wow that sux!! you need to sit down with him and ask him these things
1.) are you sorry you cheated?? if yes or no why did you cheat??
2.) do you want to continue with the marriage or are you in love with the other woman and want to be with her?? (he has to make a choice as to WHO he wants to be .
3.) If he says he chooses you ask him what is he gonna do about the baby?? does he plan on helping the mother out with the baby? ask if he's sure it's his.
4.) If he wants to be with her then you know what to do- file for divorce right away & most likely you will be granted any goods money etc because he screwed up not you.
Note: Also- if you love him enough to forgive him and stay with him if he loves you and wants to be with you and tells you the other woman was a "fling" you have to get over the anger and be an adult about this situation. Now you will have to help care for this other child that will be a part of your life. Wanna know something funny?? something similar happened to me. I was pregnant with my first child from a BF of 2 yrs and while being pregnant he got another gurl pregnant that he was messing around with behind my back. Turns out we broke up & he decided to be with her when i was 5 months pregnant. 2yrs after she had his baby they broke up because she cheated on him & vise versa (KARMA!!) So- during this whole time i was single and still had feelings for him and even considered getting back together with him without caring that he had cheated and had a child with that other woman. I was willing to love & treat this new child like if she were my own but i met my fiancee & here we are 5 yrs later. All this that you are going through is really hard but you have to take a minute and look at your relationship with ur husband- can you forgive him if he's sorry?? if yes are you willing to help him with the baby to come as far as picking the baby up from the mother's house when necesary? buy the baby clothes, take him/her to the park etc??? think about all this because it's coming and it's up to you what you want to do. I think if it were me i would be so pissed at my husband but i would forgive him & stay. I would help with the new baby and honestly if ur thinking revenge this is the best way to get back at him. Show him that even though he screwed up ur a good person and u love him & he'll see that what he has is valuable & will think about it again if he wants to cheat again. I know what i'm telling you. When you sit down & talk to him be calm & let him explain everything to you- don't interupt! i know you will have lots to ask but just hold ur questions till he's done explaining & telling you what he wants to do about this. Good luck! email me when you can if you'd like more advice but- take care and think about what ur gonna tell him before you tell him anything. When talking refrain from yelling or cursing. I knwo you feel like u wanna kill him but by yelling & such you won't get the answers you need. God Bless!!
2007-05-23 07:02:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are always exceptions. Usually, taking him back would be unthinkable. But, let's say you have 4 small kids yourself and he is truly sorry and agrees to go to counseling with you. Then, yes, you might forgive him and write out the child support checks for him every month. People make mistakes. Some of them are just more serious than others.
2007-05-23 06:49:00 · answer #4 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd kill him, maybe not litterally, but I'd love to. I wouldn't stay with him, I don't tolerate a cheater. Its disrespectful to the spouce being cheated on and I would hope my husband had enough respect for me, if not then why should I respect the marriage, its not like he is. So no I wouldn't forgive him or forget and I would divorce him. And when I take him for everything he has,Ii'll just smile and wish him luck with the new baby.
2007-05-23 06:48:54 · answer #5 · answered by Jessica 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would absolutely be crushed. I would need alot from him in order to trust him again enough to even think of taking him back but because I want kids of my own I don't think I would be able to. I think I would give forgiving him a try but I really don't know if I'd ever get over the fact and want to run him over of something, lol.
(I swear I'm not crazy!lol)
2007-05-23 06:45:57 · answer #6 · answered by ☆ Heavenly ☆ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Children should not suffer for the sins of adults. Let him go and look after that child, he has a responsibility, for like you said, at least 18 years. I say, for the rest of his life.
Give him the boot, and get on with a new life. You cannot deny yourself for his weaknesses. Start over. Discuss it with him. Be up front and non blaming. It's a fact of life. He made his choices, now he must live them.
Send him a farewell card and flowers and wish him luck. Damned fool he was.
Best wishes to you girl.
2007-05-23 06:48:50 · answer #7 · answered by Terry Dean 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Never ever never.....the marriage is totally lost and gone forever no matter what! It would never work and his committment to me was dead, done and burried the moment my husband slept with this other woman let alone not use protection for any std's. If a wife should accept this she has some very deep self-esteem issues and is desperate to live a life of pure hell and has no self worth. best wishes sweetie.
2007-05-23 07:00:36 · answer #8 · answered by Lindsey 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can't lie....I'd be at the courthouse early the next morning to pick up my walking papers...my get out of jail free card!!! I already know I wouldn't be able to deal with my husband, the other woman nor the child. I couldn't accept the child and I could stand to be around the mother when she would drop off the kid. NOPE...could not do it.
2007-05-23 06:47:54 · answer #9 · answered by Lil_MissVal 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like he's particularly dammm valueless and you're extra advantageous off with out him. As for the IRS, he can get in considerable hardship claiming your son in case you are able to teach which you probably did no longer stay with him and as nicely which how did he declare him (as his baby)? this is tax fraud and in the event that they seize as much as him (with allitle help from an nameless tip) he could desire to no longer only pay off it yet even bypass to prison.solid success.If he claimed your son asserting he supported him and he became born in December the time-physique for irs isn't met. a baby could desire to have lived with the guy for a minimum of 6 months out of the 365 days and if push comprises shove he could desire to have the skill to coach this. call the IRS and ask them what you should do through fact it appears like your mom had the suited to declare the two you and your son.
2016-10-13 05:15:58 · answer #10 · answered by lokan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd kill him... It's bad enough to have a affair but have a baby in the end is unforgivable... Every time she has to look at that child she will be reminded of what her husband did. Plus paying child support on the kid is another reminder. I'd kill him... And No I couldn't forgive him. Plus you know he was irresponsible with the fact it was unprotected sex... OMG I'd kill him...
2007-05-23 06:52:39 · answer #11 · answered by Flying w/ scissors 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋