I am married and and have 4 kids from a previous relationship and have just finish my Nursing degree. My husband now wants to quite his job and stay home, because his job and his boss just piss him off. I want to be able to buy a house and start having nice things. But with the price of houses these days...how am I supposed to buy a house on one salary. FYI...everyone of his siblings (5 in all) don't work...their significant others work to support the families. I've told him how I feel and told him that if he quits his job he needs to find another one that will make him happy. He is content with getting fired from his job and collecting unemployment...
So am I crazy for being pissed???
2007-05-23 06:10:52 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, you are not crazy for being pissed. The problem is that you are married to a slacker, from a family of slackers, and sloth is something that it is very hard to correct. I don't think there is any easy answer for you beyond losing your husband, but you didn't mention that as an option. Is it an option? You might want to think about it. You will never have a nice house and nice things married to such a man. In my opinion you should tell him to get a job or get out. But that's just me....
2007-05-23 06:17:08 · answer #1 · answered by John Timothy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not at all...you have every right to be pissed. We all have to endure somethings we don't want to, even bad jobs. If he plans on quitting or getting fired he should at least have another job lined up so he won't miss out on any income coming in. He is banking on you getting a great paying job as a nurse, because of the high demand, and you taking care of everything for a while. You shouldn't have to tell him that one income doesn't cut it with a family these days, especially if 6 people are living in the household...(U, U're husband and four kids). I hope there is some type of agreement you and your husband can come to before you get overwhelmed and feel pushed to separate. Maybe you could suggest financial and debt management classes, so he can see how much income is needed versus the amount that you guys pay out...Maybe this will be an eye opener, so that debt isn't an issue in your marriage...wish you luck.
2007-05-23 06:25:59 · answer #2 · answered by Lil_MissVal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not crazy for being pissed. I would be too if my husband said he wants to quit because his job and his boss piss him off. And you are right for telling him to find another job that will make him happy. You might want to remind him that unemployment will not last forever. He will be getting sheets from them about going and finding other jobs, putting in applications, and what the results are (like if they are hiring, did you leave a call back number, etc.) Being on unemployment is not a permanent thing. Good Luck!
2007-05-23 06:27:49 · answer #3 · answered by don't know me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Not crazy at all. You're seeing a pattern in his family, not a good one. Having the same goals and desires are important in a relationship. If he decides to do this you might as well be on your own. Most people have a boss that pisses them off, that's life. He needs to grow up and keep working.
2007-05-23 06:26:53 · answer #4 · answered by oracleofohio 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not crasy for being pissed... I know I would be especially if his other sibbling dont work... I have for most of our marriage at least worked part-time and took care of the kids, and his grandma , and mom.
Is the kids dad paying child support? If not then go to court and get it... You can use that to help buy the house and put some into a collage fund for each ...... Its not the fact that you need to money , its the fact that its the KIDS right to have it, to help pay for things they need and collage, school...
2007-05-23 06:19:47 · answer #5 · answered by jamz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you have every right to be upset. But I would say that you need to have a serious conversation with him about your concerns. I would suggest mapping out your current monthly expenses, plus what it would be for mortgage payments for the type of house you are looking for, and then compare it to just your salary alone, and that of your combined salaries. That will be much more convincing than just yelling at him to get a job. It will make him see that it is better for you, him and your 4 kids that way.
2007-05-23 06:18:00 · answer #6 · answered by Mixed up 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You say he wants to quit his job and stay home right? Is he gonna be like a house husband, do the cooking, cleaning, laundry taking care of the kids? If yes think about it that doesn't sound like to bad of a thing, but does he wanna sit around and do nothing all day long, then hell no he neeeds to do something to contribute to the house.
2007-05-23 06:15:57 · answer #7 · answered by shorte716 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to be outraged. I wonder why he feels it's OK for him to slack off. Is it because he is lazy or he is a taker, or does he feel you get more from the relationship than he does, so he doesn't need to put in as much? Any of the reasons is not really acceptable, but if there is any hope of resolving this, understanding the reason is the first step.
2007-05-23 06:48:05 · answer #8 · answered by Wretched Bonsai 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the two of you need real counseling. If his siblings have this mindset, then something's going on from his family tree. Lack of work ethics is a real problem. You can't do this alone, you need help. Clearly you have your head on straight but he doesn't. If he doesn't want to go to counseling and worth thru these issues, stop giving him the nookie and he'll come around. Tell him no bacon, no shakin! and he'll think twice about brining home the bread!
2007-05-23 06:41:51 · answer #9 · answered by eva2devine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are crazy. I can understand being miserable in a job. But he should at least get a new one! It sounds as if he's content with the way things are and doesn't want the same things you do.
2007-05-23 06:26:45 · answer #10 · answered by Nikki 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋