Is anyone out there thinking of cheating on their partner? Are you tempted, hesitant, excited? How do you come up with a decision? Would you let the "3rd" person take control?
2007-05-23 05:47:20 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
I also thought I would never get here and even consider it.... But you can never say never.....
2007-05-23 06:01:29 · update #1
very happy and satisfied with whom i'm with...
2007-05-23 05:50:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Between the thought of cheating on your partner and the action there is a distance. I thought about it many times but never did. I want to be honest with the people I love and if I finally do it that would be after I end a relationship.
2007-05-23 12:52:30 · answer #2 · answered by M?r?? P 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no, i don't think about cheating. i would end the relationship i am in if i kept having thoughts of cheating. i would hope the person i am with would have the courtesy to do the same.
2007-05-23 12:53:27 · answer #3 · answered by ~•over the moon•~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationships are far from perfect but as they say "two wrong don't make it a right". It's better to confront problems, but to cheat, is just to "cheat yourself".
2007-05-23 12:55:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very in love with my wife, and cheating is not an option for me, I made a promise to God that I would honor her for the rest of my life, and I intend to keep my promise.
2007-05-23 12:53:29 · answer #5 · answered by jignutty 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't cheat. I wouldn't want anyone cheating on me so I'd never do that to anyone else.
2007-05-23 12:51:50 · answer #6 · answered by Nico 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think you and the third person are in love, well then love will wait - at least for a while - so there is no need to rush.
In the meantime, my Mom once told me "If you don't want to cheat, don't put yourself in that position." So try not to spend much alone time with the new guy: no going for drinks, no 'working late' just to be around him, no slipping into his office just for a chat, and so on. Seriously. If you are near him, he'll find the way in sooner or later. And then it is done, and there is no undoing it.
Getting some separation will be hard (I *know*) to accomplish, but I think you really need it to settle your mind a bit: you keep asking these questions, so you are clearly both serious and also conflicted about the situation.
I think you know the risks: losing your self esteem, losing a man you love and trust, wasting time on a man who won't leave his wife, losing your job if the affair goes badly, maybe even losing your career if it gets out that you 'seduced' your boss ("She slept with her last boss, would you trust her here? Do you trust her older work? Did she seduce any of her coworkers or that previous boss just to get ahead?" You know how that grapevine will gossip.).
And pay attention that the serious risks almost all fall on you.
So, if he is now hitting on you harder like I predicted, try to buy time before you give in to lust (Unfortunately, I bet you've already made your decision ... ).
While you buy this time, I think you need to do two hard things ...
1. Decide what you want to do with your current relationship. You love him, but it clearly isn't enough at the moment. So think really hard about what the pluses and minuses are and try to work through where things are and would and should go. Now, can you get there? Can you see continued long term commitment? Merged finances and careers and families? Old age? Try writing it all down to help clarify it for yourself. If you answer "yes" to those things, maybe you ought to skip the cheap thrills of an affair and try to work out the relationship you have.
Relationships are *hard*. It will take work, for a lifetime. If you can see that it is worth it, then fight through this and find the deep rewards of a lifelong commitment.
2. If you are gonna fool around, you *need* to know what the rules are. i.e. It would destroy your partner to find that you were doing it in his house, so seriously make a decision not to fool around with each other where you actually live. But there are other things to consider, especially since you work together. i.e. How will you resolve fights when you can't get private time? I know from my life that this is *very* hard to manage. Also, what if you really fall in love, but he can't/won't leave his wife? i.e. You *need* to know if it is love or just an itch that you are satisfying on his side. If it is an itch, then you *must not* fall in love unless you really want to be hurt.
I am not against affairs ... what I am against is using people and needlessly hurting them.
I think you are already using your partner - he is trusting - and you are starting to turn his trust against him, no? So be careful about that ... and remember that if you have an affair you will be telling more lies to someone you love than you ever thought possible! Lies, lies, lies, morning, noon and night. Think about what that might do to you? And what it will do to him when he finds out.
And if you really can't see a future where you are and really hope to have one with the new guy, then you need to end your current relationship. It is a question of honor and respect for the person you have cared about so much for so long. It will needlessly hurt him much more for you to lie to him, sleep with someone he trusts you with, and then have your relationship fall apart when he thought it was good after a jealous coworker spills the beans.
So spare him that awful unnecessary pain and end your relationship now. It goes double for your affair - and triple if he has kids. His wife and kids don't need to have their lives ruined by another woman - a divorce should be a private family decision for them to make and come to terms with, not for it to be made for them when it turns out you are pregnant and he is leaving to marry you ASAP, or something like that.
Anyways, be careful and safe for yourself and all the other players. And remember, love is always patient, so if this is love, it *will* wait until you can sort out these difficult issues.
Summary:
Set some limits on the contact you have so you don't slip too soon.
Think through your current relationship and make some difficult decisions.
Work out some framework for your affair before you lose control of it.
Best wishes, and good luck.
PS: Remember that "3rd person" isn't thinking with his heart or his "big brain", so if I were you, I would not let him take control - it won't help you with the guilt, or the blame anyways.
However, I would let him make that first crucial move - since the risks are mostly yours, shouldn't he at least take that first one? Once, and if, he does that, and you are more certain of his feelings, then I think you should shift to a stalling mode until you can see things a little more clearly for yourself.
PPS: If your new guy and you get on the same page that you want a little on the side without commitments and neither will leave the partners you love, and you can see a way around all the work and career issues, then maybe you should go for it just for kicks. But that is a lot to ask for, especially since you already think that you might love him ...
2007-05-23 18:16:08 · answer #7 · answered by 62,040,610 Idiots 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
l was never tempted to cheat. My husband is very loyal to me as well.
2007-05-23 12:52:45 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have no desire to cheat on my man. He knows what i want and what I love...A new guy just wouldn't be worth it. Plus his penis is as big as a tall boy Budweiser can
2007-05-23 12:51:22 · answer #9 · answered by Bad Mood 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no
why cheat?? why not just end it if you need somebody else in your life
the single most selfish thing you could ever do
maybe u should leave it up to your partner....
2007-05-23 12:51:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO I'M MARRIED AND HAPPY WITH MY PARTNER NO NEED TO CHEAT YOU WILL GET CAUGHT SOON OR LATER.IF YOU WANT TO CHEAT JUST LEAVE THAT PERSON ALONE SO THEY CAN BE HAPPY 2
2007-05-23 12:52:49 · answer #11 · answered by Beautiful 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋