I'm 30, SO is 50 - we both have kids too (his older than mine obviously). We have an amazing relationship emotionally, physically & spirtually. We forget there is any age difference most of the time. Been starting to think about the way long term and I really wanted to know of some of what really affects couples with this age difference in the future. I am having a hard time imagining 50 & 70 or beyond. We do know about the immediate impressions of others and all those awkward questions about whether he' my kids grandfather, my dad, etc but I'm looking way beyond that stuff.
2007-05-23 04:40:05 · 12 answers · asked by Elaine M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm 35, my husband is 20 years older. We don't ever get mistaken for father/daughter...maybe he looks young and I look old, LOL.
We've been together for ten years. I admit it was hard to imagine when I was 26 what live would be like forty years later being married to an older man. But any thoughts I had on the subject were proven unrealistic.
For one thing, you spend every single day with this person. As you age, so does he. You don't necessarily SEE huge physical changes. Its true that when you're fifty he'll be seventy. Whether or not you will become his caregiver is really dependant on many things, including his health and your health. I know many married couples of the same age who end up being the caregiver for a spouse.
Something I did think of is the likelyhood that I could be widowed early in my marriage. Meaning I don't have the opportunity to spend the next forty or fifty years with my husband. Many women my age will still have their husbands with them, while I could be widowed. But really, what it comes down to is I absolutely adore my husband. Leaving him on the possibility that we won't have as much time together is crazy....that leaves us NO time together.
We have kids together, he was a father for the first time at 48. He's very attentive to the kids and is much more settled than a younger dad might be. He does all the stories, cuddles, bathes the kids, etc., he knows what is important in life. He had a chance to live as a single guy for so long, he doesn't need to hang with his buddies instead of his kids/wife.
I hope you are very happy together....age won't matter if you're truly in love.
2007-05-23 04:48:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 1⤋
Mostly it depends on how young the younger person is. If the younger person is over 35 years old, there's a very good chance of it working out. If the younger person is under 25, ESPECIALLY if she has not lived on her own and been happy and comfortable with supporting herself and her lifestyle .. then the odds of it working out are less than 5%. Has to do with lifestyle challenges and developmental tasks. The unconscious mind of the younger person sees the older person as a parent-substitute, because until they reach the age of 30 they have not completely finished their adulthood ... and after 5-10 years with their daddy-husband, they start feeling stifled, restless, anxious, and end up leaving him. Because they are finally ready to become 100% adult themselves and no longer need a daddy-hubby. No one is really "perfect", and the only people who say that their lover is "perfect" is either lying and bragging ... or they haven't been with them long enough (3 years or so) to start to see just how imperfect their lover actually is. If he's so "perfect", how come he's divorced? Right .. it musta been HER fault. Right. Takes two to make a marriage fail, hon. You can bet he's not so perfect. You can also bet that right now you are too blinded to see his imperfections ... that'll be a rude awakening. No such thing as a perfect relationship or a perfect partner.
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2016-04-14 01:13:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your situation sounds almost exactly like mine. My husband is 18 yrs older than me. He has 2 kids older than my 2 kids. We get along great and love each other very much, but i too have a hard time thinking about what it will be like when we get older. I have to remind myself that we love each other and no matter what age we are, we will be together. We married for better or worse. He also works out 5 days a week and doesn't look his age and not to mention in excellent shape. I keep holding onto that:)lol
2007-05-23 04:49:40 · answer #3 · answered by happily married 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women seem to age quicker than men. A lady told me that the sun is more harsh on a woman's skin than it was on a mans. Secondly, women spend their lives coating their faces with petrochemicals on a daily basis. This cannot be good over time. I think by the time you are fifty people will just think he has a wife of ten or so years younger.
2013-10-19 05:48:31 · answer #4 · answered by Cashmiir 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Other than some common grounds to which to build the relationship, nothing else really matters, especially other peoples opinions. Contrary to what you say what bothers me most here is why with the way you feel about this relationship, are you on here? If you truly have thought everything out then we have nothing to offer you. It sounds like youre double guessing your decision and deep inside the age difference does really concern you. Like I said if you two are truly in love and are really happy then all the rest doesnt matter. Long term is well worth thinking about especially since hopefully, God willing, itll happen. Wishing you two all the best
2007-05-23 05:13:28 · answer #5 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like you guys are completely in sync so I would think the only drawback would be that you probably aren't going to spend as many years with him as you like. Then again, no one never knows how many days we have in this world, regardless of age.
Life is too short and love is too hard to find to worry about a thing like age! Just live each day to the fullest!
2007-05-23 05:20:22 · answer #6 · answered by Nunya 5 · 6⤊ 0⤋
my hubby and i are 20 yrs different in age. there are problems but every couple has a few. i like to go out and shake it.. he perfers to "shake it" on the recliner!! he is set in his ways about other stuff too. sometimes its like he is a father figure but go beyond that, it will be fine as long as you love each other and respect each other for who they are!! good luck and don't worry about what others think!!!
actually you could have fun with it!!
when we first got married (7 months ago) we went out to eat and i ordered a drink ( i am 30) i was carded. i loved that hahaha.. and i said to the waitress that i was sitting here with my husband, she did look shocked and my hubby actually said no i am really her father, needless to say the waitress didn't know what to think or who to beleive, we sat there all night and held hands on and off!!! she couldn't take her eyes off us and it gave us a good laugh anyhow!! good luck!!!
2007-05-23 05:16:40 · answer #7 · answered by Life*goes*on 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Age is a state of mind and if you don't mind it doesn't matter. Never waste any time trying to satisfy the world or worrying about what the world thinks of you; small minds/small people.
2007-05-23 04:44:43 · answer #8 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
More good than bad to be found in large age differences..
Hugh Hefners girlfriends all seem to be pretty happy..
2007-05-23 04:48:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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It helped me alot!
2014-09-26 00:02:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋