Is it wrong to want to name your baby the same name your sister-in-law wants?

Question

My sister-in-law is trying to get pregnant, and about a month ago I told her a very cute girls name. Ever since then she says that if she ever has a girl that's what she is going to name her. The problem is is that my hubby and I are trying for a baby and most likely will get pregnant before her (she's been trying for a very long time). Is it wrong to want to name the baby the name I told her about?

Answer 1

It's yours, honey. She sound like the type who would take it from you without giving it a second thought. You came up with it. You have every right to it.

I hope you get there first! Good luck!

Answer 2

When you told her the cute name was that is response to a request from her to help her find a name? If so, she reasonably assumed you recommended the name for her child, not your own. To be loving, if you get pregnant first, and really like the same name, ask her if it would be ok to name her niece that name. If she gets very upset, remember two important things: there are a lot of names, and only one sister. Ask yourself this: if she has been trying for a long time, she may be hurting about not getting pregnant. Can you support her by letting her have the name? After all, if you are pregnant by that point, you will already have what she really wants: the baby. Act in love!

Answer 3

I think what they did was pretty mean, and I think if I were in your shoes I would be annoyed too. There are hundreds of names out there that they could have chosen from, and they really had to go with that one? I wonder why they don't care that his cousin will have the same name as him? I would never name my daughter the same name as my sisters daughter, it's just something you don't do! Also, the fact that they chose to keep the name a secret has just made it an even bigger deal. It almost seems that they're are the ones being petty not telling you... if they had just come up and asked - 'would you mind if we named our son Charlie?' Then maybe you would have been more understanding?? Honestly, I don't think that you have overreacted that much. I would definatly be angry, if it was me. Edit : Also, there is nothing you can do now, you have a right to be angry and maybe even tell them how you feel. However; you are going to have to accept it and move on sometime. You can't make them feel bad for the rest of their lives. They probably feel just as strongly about their sons name as you do about your daughters.

Answer 4

I would sit down and talk it over with her. Just to be friendly.

If she's been trying for a very long time... randomly announcing to the family the name of the baby that she was going to use as well could cause unwanted family drama. It may take her a little while to get used to the idea... especially if she's as set on using the name as you say, but hopefully she'll come around and if/when she concieves she'll find something she likes just as much.

Answer 5

That's why I avoid telling anyone cute names I have thought of that I may like to use one day. I imagine that yes, it would cause some problems between the two of you if you do that. I guess it depends on how you mentioned the name to her. If you mentioned that you would like to use it, then she liked it and wanted to use it, I would say go for it. If you mentioned it to her as a possibility for her to use herself, I would say try to find a different name you like just as much and don't use the other. Or you could ask her about it first, for all you know maybe she doesn't care for it much anymore.

Answer 6

You should tell her that you are going to use that name, because you had already picked it out for your little girl.
I wouldn't suggest that you do it behind her back, but let her know, in a nice way, that you chose that name and you plan on using it! Point blank!
She should understand and find another name. Don't try to make it into a competition with her, though. You will make your marriage miserable as well as your family (your brother).
Just let her know and back off.

Good Luck!!!
Baby Dust to you!!!!!!!!!

Answer 7

There is no such thing as calling dibs on a name. what is she never conceives? What if she does but only has boys? Are you going to hold off on naming your daughter what you want simply because someone else might someday in the future have a baby and wants to use that name?

Plus, if your SIL never does conceive and you do name your baby daughter that, your SIL can always love her and treat her like the baby girl she never had.

Answer 8

There is no reason you can't both use the name, and technically you voiced your opinion first. It also depends on the name, there are so many different spellings for names now days. Good Luck on trying for the little one!

PS- Who knows maybe one of you will have a boy!

Answer 9

No, not if you told her that was a name you were considering for your own child. It would be wrong of her to do that...now it is different if it is after someone in the family because then I wouldn't think it as horrible as it seems now. I can't believe someone would do that. Oh wait, did you just mention the name in passing and now that she is in love with it...you want it? Oh geez, just be prepared for family problems that may arise out of this.

Answer 10

Beat her to it! When my mom was pregnant with my brother she told my aunt about how she loved the name Tyler. My aunt agreed saying if she had her baby first she would name her son Tyler. My mom was so upset but she ended up having my brother first, the funny thing was two weeks later my aunt had her baby, what did she name him? Skyler. Thats not a joke.

Answer 11

If it was your idea first then use it.

Or you both can name your daughters with a different spelling. My husband has a sister and aunt with the name of colleen. If you like the name take it. And if your lucky your sister in law will have a boy :)