My best friend just got a divorce after 25 years of abuse. I would like to go out and celebrate with her but I don't think my husband would let me. My friend is also hubby's cousin. He knows we want be out looking for men or anything like that. I'm sure he'll say no. What should I do? Make a big fuss?
2007-05-23 04:02:57 · 19 answers · asked by twisty 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
So, bring your hubby along....after all, he's family!
2007-05-23 04:06:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
You are married, so I am assuming that you are an adult. Why do you need your husband's permission. As long as you are not out doing something disrespectful to your marriage and you come home at a decent hour I don't see the problem. Both me and myhusband go out every once in a while without each other. We never ask for permission we just check and see if the other one wanted to do something that night. If not then we meet up with our friends and hang out. We don't even set a curfew but I know that he would never stay out all night. It is a matter of respect.
2007-05-23 05:53:22 · answer #2 · answered by PharmNerd 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you both could take her out. She will be looking for men and a married women should try to steer that in different direction. No its not wrong to want and go on a girls night out,however she will more than likly be in rare form because she is free -which is good a/c abuse but just becareful.. your hubby might like to go and if he is stable you might beable to show her without making a show of it what a good relationship is. Go out but remeber if your hubby went out to bar with a freind that just got divorced how would you think--without using your current thought process in thinking about tonight that is..
2007-05-23 04:09:29 · answer #3 · answered by keithleyjustin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he won't LET you, then there are issues that you need to deal with. Just tell your hubby when and where you are going, and what time to expect you home. DONT ASK for permission to do it. Don't go to a bar. Find a nice restaurant and be home at a decent hour (not drunk). This will show him that you are a big girl now! Come home and tell him what a nice time you had & have sex with him. All will be good.
2007-05-23 04:39:25 · answer #4 · answered by Nina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was that a Freudian slip, "...we want be out looking for men?" After 25 years of abuse, I should think that your friend would like to stay at home and have a moment's peace. This whole suggestion sounds like something you have dreamed up. If you want to go out and find a one-night stand, why involve a "friend" who has endured two and a half decades of unhappiness? Just go do it.
2007-05-23 04:17:47 · answer #5 · answered by John Timothy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What kind of marriage do you have? "My husband wont LET me?" Are you of legal age? Sounds like some SERIOUS control issues there sweetheart. Do you have trust issues as well? If you have been married for any length of time, then what is the big deal. He afraid you will cheat on him? Cheated before? Given him a reason not to trust you? Sounds like YOU have an abusive realtionship!
2007-05-23 04:12:52 · answer #6 · answered by lee911 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a very healthy thing to have seperate hobbies/freinds/outside interests in a marriage. You should definately be allowed to go out with your freind to celebrate and be there for her after the divorce. I don't really think its right to drag your hubby along, as its a girls night out.
Just make sure to mention the times when he's gone out to do things without you.. why shouldnt you be able to go out by yourself with freinds sometimes??
2007-05-23 04:14:24 · answer #7 · answered by Makayla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why can't he come? There are two schools of thought here. Personally I think its fine and you should be able to go out with your friends as long as everything is above board. The more conservative types will say going out is fine as long as you aren't going anywhere or doing something that would be construed as you say out looking for men. It would be disrespectful to do so even if you are loyal. Personally if you trust each other you should be able to go out and have fun and not have to worry about it.
2007-05-23 04:30:57 · answer #8 · answered by answer man. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he go out and hang with his guy friends? I'm sure he doesn't. No reason why you can't go out. Just because you are a married woman doesn't mean you quit having fun. Couples need time away to have individual fun.
2007-05-23 06:32:32 · answer #9 · answered by sportsfanstl1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
#1 is trust in a marriage. If he wouldn't let you go its cuz he doesn't trust you. That would be a major issue to me. you should be able to go out. My girlfriends and I go out once a week its girl time and it makes me a happier wife when I get home. He is fine with it cuz he knows I am not going anywhere else.
2007-05-23 04:07:36 · answer #10 · answered by Maria 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is perfectly natural for married women to go out and have a good time. I think it's very unfortunate that your husband is so controlling.
2007-05-23 06:34:59 · answer #11 · answered by deborah g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋