I'm from a generation where divorce is natural. So I work hard at my relationship to make sure that I won't be a casuality of divorce. I've been married for 6 years, to a man that I love very much. We've been through some really tough times and some really great times. We argue sometimes though. One time about 3 years ago we got in such a heated arguement (about gas in a car of all things, of which I started) that he grabbed me and pushed me (only after I threw a very full can of slimfast at him). He apologized and said it would never happen again. However, the other night we got into an arguement (this time i didn't start it...a first for me), it escalated to a point where he pushed me onto the bed and pinned me down and yelled at me. It scared me beyond belief. I love my husband, but I'm scared of him now. I don't want to get a divorce, this is the man I wan to have kids with. He apologized and cried, but I don't know. Is this marriage worth saving?
2007-05-23 03:51:10 · 21 answers · asked by Kymberlee J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We were arguing about his new business. And it progressed into how he talks to me like a child and like I'm stupid. Then I called him stupid and to stop talking to me like I'm stupid and thats when he pinned me down and started yelling at me, telling me if I didn't act like a child he wouldn't have to yell at me like a child.
2007-05-23 04:09:50 · update #1
You already KNOW you're not going to leave him.....which is what you need to do. He will abuse you again, only sooner rather than later, next time. He is an abuser.....are you willing to settle for being abused for the rest of your life?
2007-05-23 03:57:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes it can, but the trust will never be the same. The couple have to talk about why the affair happened in the first place. Most people that have been cheated on, think that they did something wrong, and that is why the other person went out looking, which is wrong. The offending person usually is doing it because they feel inadequate. It can all be worked out and repaired. Then there is the couples that has a remorseful person, and will beg for forgiveness, and when they think it is all forgotten will go out and do it again, only because they got away with it, and want to boost their ego, by having conquests. This pattern will go on until someone finally ends the marriage.
2016-04-01 04:07:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your husband may have some anger control issues and that the two of you should go to counseling together. He may need to take an anger management course. I would seriously wonder how he would react to a persistent child who enjoys pushing his buttons. You don't want to have children with an abuser. Get help for him now and see how it goes from there.
2007-05-23 03:59:50 · answer #3 · answered by Jbuns 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you push his hot buttons to send him over the top?
It sounds like in an argument maybe you stop attacking the problem and start attacking each other? Maybe you should both try to make a conscious effort to stay focused on what you are arguing about and see if it helps keep things from escalating.
2007-05-23 03:58:28 · answer #4 · answered by Zaferus 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You both have anger issues. Think about the things you argue about. Are any of them worthy of an argument? I thought not. You have probably gotten into a habit of arguing.
The marriage is worth saving, but you need counseling. Check to see if your insurance covers marriage counseling.
2007-05-23 04:31:54 · answer #5 · answered by Schwinn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give up. The both of you need to get counseling and quick before it escalates into something you will both regret later on. It sounds like your young and there is to save your relationship. Believe me I've heard lots worse and they got better. I have a anger problem myself.
2007-05-23 03:59:45 · answer #6 · answered by shawnie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sure is worth saving, you admit you have made some of the mistakes, you and husband may want to get some anger counseling i really dont know of many couples that dont argue at one time or another ( we have gas problems and it really ticks me off to get in the car and it on empty) any marriage is worth working on, he lost his cool, but he didnt hit you so try a little harder it will be worth it when you are in your 80's rocking together on the front porch
2007-05-23 04:00:16 · answer #7 · answered by emma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you both need anger management counseling. You didn't say what (if anything) prompted him to push you and pin you down. If it were another episode of throwing a slim fast can at him, then you may have had it coming. Women (or men, for that matter) need to understand that people can only be pushed so far before they react in one way or another.
2007-05-23 03:57:01 · answer #8 · answered by Charlie 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
"Keep your hands to yourself". We all learned that in kindergarten right? Its not nice to throw beverages either. It doesnt matter who starts it or why. Not everyone behaves this way when angry and you both need counseling and reliable birth control. Im not saying this to be mean, hubby and I are both guilty of throwing things etc. and you have no idea how much I regret it when I see how it has affected our kids. GET HELP( in this relationship or alone). goodluck.
2007-05-23 05:24:30 · answer #9 · answered by undone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can love many, but that isn't enough and this will happen over n over till death due you part unless he gets some serious help, and you both get counseling. I am a survivor of mom fighting with her husband he took her life when I was 14 yr old and she 2 loved him n tried to please him . I would say get out... My prayers are with you.
~Angel~
2007-05-23 04:05:32 · answer #10 · answered by ~Angel~ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
o.k. 2 times in a three year period, with one of them having you , admittedly, provoking. you also admit that you have started alot of these arguments. you both need counciling. thats a given. but it seems like he may have a problem with holding his anger in until it explodes, and that may be a real problem for him. and if you admit to starting alot of these arguments, then you better find out why you do it. is it a power trip, a need to control, or do you have issues in your past you never confronted. COUNCILING PLEASE. swollow the pride and show the love. good luck
2007-05-23 04:15:26 · answer #11 · answered by puertoricanhusker85 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋