Professional help? Angry easily.?

Question

I deal with a lot of “mental” impaired individuals. I have to read through a lot of medical records everyday such as: psychological reports, treatment notes, etc. After I read what the patient has stated what his/her problems were, the doctor gives an assessment or impression of what is wrong with this patient.

Where I am going with this is at times the patient may say he or she feels this way or did this and I have done the same thing. For instance, one patient gets angry easily. I sometimes do that myself. I feel maybe I should see a psychiatrist myself or maybe see if there is something mentally wrong with me. I know I am not crazy, I am in my right state of mind. It’s just that I had a hard life and I am starting to realize, that my past has affected my present. I am very OCD about my house. I get mad at my boyfriend when he doesn’t help me clean. When I do all the cleaning and he just sits there, I get angry inside. I sometimes start yelling over stupid, petty, crap. I don’t realize it either. I will continue to build things in my head and when the smallest problem arises, I get mad. I want to learn to try to keep calm on things. I don’t get angry everyday or anything like that. It may happen once a week. I just feel like I am doing everything on my own and sometimes I feel that no one truly cares about me. I know this isn’t true but it is the way I feel at times. Does this happen to anyone else on here? Why do I feel I have to have such a clean house? To tell you about my mom, which is the only reason I can explain it, she made us clean as children. We had to do everything on our own. She would leave us outside all day, hit us and she did do drugs. When she did let us inside we had to clean, a lot. I am guessing that is the only reason? I just wish I could calm down about it. I don’t want to get mad easily.

Answer 1

Do you ever sit down and talk to someone about how you feel and why? Whether it be a friend, a family member, sibling or even your boyfriend? Communicating your feelings is the first step in acknowledging your frustrations. If you don't acknowledge your frustrations you build up negative and destructive energies, its not mentally, emotionally or physically healthy. The only way you can put your past to rest is by first seeking professional help and advise in how to handle or approach the situation. Then you can invite your mother, if it is possible, to accompany you to one of your counseling sessions. The both of you would be in a 'safe' environment, able to communicate effectively with the help of your psychologist who would intervene at any time you feel that you or your mother needs help. Your need for excessive cleanliness around your home, is a sign that you feel that your life is a chaotic mess and you fear that you do not have complete control over your circumstances. This frustrates you especially when you feel that your boyfriend is oblivious to your emotional needs. Remember that he will be of no assistance if you fail to communicate your problem truthfully to him. If you find it difficult to talk to him, write a letter, keep a diary..but get those feelings and emotions out before they destroy you. Good luck dear friend.

Answer 2

Homer begins the Iliad, "Sing, goddess, the anger of Peleus' son Achilles and its devastation...and the will of Zeus was accomplished..."

Before rushing off to be head-shrunk, consider what this poet is doing with the subject of wrath. When a person harnesses this energy, when a person can acheive the serene position outside of the moment, the person does in fact surpass the transitory and communes with the eternal. Healthy minds can do this. No need to pay some joker $100 an hour to lay bare all those deep dark instinctual feelings we all know are there anyway.

Answer 3

LOL! You are not alone! Sometimes I feel like the mother instead of the wife. I get angry about that, but then my husband works and I am at home. I can either clean the house and do the chores or b???? about it. I am getting ready to clean some now.
As far as being OCD, I did not realize that I was until I married my husband. He observed me, and the first time I left him alone at home for a short trip, I came home and started putting salt shakers, pens, pillows, etc. back where I had left them when I left. He sat and watched me come in and put everything back in place and then pointed it out to me that I did that. After 8 yrs., he still does that crap to me..LOL!
He tells everyone that if he gets out of bed at 2 in the morning to pee, I have the bed made when he gets back.
There is nothing wrong with us!!! ;)
Seriously, I have made an effort to not be so neat and clean. Come see my home now. Getting two dogs helped! I still hate it when he moves the salt shakers around.

Answer 4

I don't think you need a psychiatrist. If you think it would be helpful talking to one to sort through your issues then certainly feel free but your problem is by no means unusual.

People who are obsessive compulsive need control. I'm a control freak myself so I understand. I like my house to be clean & tidy. I need it to be. There is so much of life that is messy, ugly, disordered and chaotic that I need my home to be a safe haven to be ordered, beautiful. There is nothing wrong with that. In fact it's good feng shui. Your home has an energy. When clutter, dirt, mess & ugliness take over the space your energy (chi) can't flow. It starts to affect your health. It makes you irritable. It depresses you.

Here's the thing about control: there will always be things beyond your control & you can't let them get to you. You can control yourself, your home (by keeping it clean). You can't control other people (like your slob boyfriend who doesn't lift a finger to help), the weather, etc.

Say the serenity prayer:

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can & the wisdom to know the difference."

I have my own anger issues & anger often comes up when things happen beyond my control. The truth is that anger doesn't accomplish anything. It hurts you & it alienates the person you're angry with. Instead, if you calmly asserted yourself "Honey, could you please help me clean up a little. I'm hurt that you don't make the effort..." or something like that. If he is unwilling to help no matter what then you have a choice: either you love him enough to live with his untidy ways or you let him go because he doesn't meet your needs. We always have a choice in life. Sometimes we just don't like our choices so we like to think that we're trapped so we don't have to do anything.

I had a controlling, negative mother. She wasn't abusive or a substance abuser but she still had a dramatic effect on how I live my life. I'm sorry to hear about your experience. We are all creatures of nature & nurture. We're born with certain tendencies but how we are raised affects who we become. The good news is, you are still in control of you! You can choose to change. It may be an uphill battle but you can learn to conquer your anger. When you feel yourself getting angry, stop yourself & ask what it is your angry about. Is it worth being stressed about? Will yelling actually solve anything? Look at it rationally & then see if there is a better solution.

Keep saying the serenity prayer. You can learn to be positive. You can learn to be happy & calm. Try exercising to get your frustrations out. Try yoga to find a calm centre. Listen to music. Take a walk in the woods. Anything to find serenity. You can choose to have a peaceful, beautiful life. It's up to you.

I know it's hard. I still struggle with it myself. I try not to get angry with bad drivers on the road, with stupid people in the supermarket, with people who hurt me or don't understand me. Anger only hurts me not them. I am learning to let go. To find peace within, no matter what. I control what I can & I let the rest go. Getting mad at the rain won't stop it from falling. Getting mad at your boyfriend won't make him more thoughtful. Tell him calmly how you feel, if he can't understand or sympathize then maybe he's not the one for you...

Good luck.
Take care.
Remember, you are not alone!
:)

Answer 5

I had a hard childhood too, my mom gave me and 4 siblings up to the state. the others were adopted, i wasnt. i have had anger issues too. but as ive gotten older i came to realize that the only person really effected by my anger was me. yes it may get me something temporarily, help w/ house etc... but you know, the next day was back to square one. so i had to CHOOSE to be in a constant state of anger or not. its hard but it is a choice, you cant change others but you can change yourself. good luck

Answer 6

Anger management is always worth counseling. All of us need to develop strategies for dealing with anger constructively.

Answer 7

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