Is my husband cheating on me? Please read on and help. Thanks!?

Question

Hi,

This happened last night that I happened to see scratches on my husband's back (I did take 3 pictures of the scratches). The moment I saw those red scratches on his back, I was steamingly MAD and asked him how those scractches got on his back.

The reason I was mad because the scratches looked exactly like someone with 10 long fingernails scracthed on both sides horizontally on his back. And the scratches are red.

He told me he must have got them from working out at the gym. I said how that could happen when he had his T-shirt on while working out. They really did not look like to me that he got hurt with those scratches from working out.

What do you think? Please give me any insight if does this make sense to you or anyone of you have had this experience. I don't want to be a fool in my marriage and most importantly, I can't never accept to be cheated on. We have no kid yet and have been married for almost 7 years.

I do want to end this marriage now. Thanks a lot!

I shoud also mention that he goes to the gym to lift weights and strengthen his arms. I went to the gym to check, all the black bends (chairs) at the gym have smooth texture, therefore, it can't convince me that he got scratches from the gym.

He still keeps saying that I accused him wrong. I told to prove that I'm wrong and he just can't prove it.

I should also say that he works A LOT, away from home 13 hours daily, Sat and Sunday he works part-time too. He does bring lots of $ home but I never keep track of his work.

What should I do now? I will end this marriage if I know for sure he has cheated on me, but how can I find out this truth?

Our marriage is boring, he has NOTHING to share with me when he comes home from work. Does this make sense to you that he has no topic to talk to me at the end of his working day?

Oh, and his cell phone mins are 1500 a month and he always uses it all up. I checked but he calls many different #s so I can't have proof in 1 #. HELP!

Answer 1

Sounds like you've already decided you want to end the marriage, so you don't really want advice. Do what you feel in your heart. It's likely he's not going to tell you flat out he cheated.

Answer 2

Have you ever in the past thought that he could be cheating on you. If this is a one time thing that might look like he is cheating on you I would give it some more time and see how every thing goes. You do not want to over obsess about any of it or you will drive yourself crazy and you will imagine stuff that is not happening.
I have been cheated on. Most of the time the person that is cheating is going to be careful about it so they do not get caught. So more than likely the scratches on his back is not from another girl because that would be way to obvious.
Is it possible he scratched his own back and it left marks?
With out more information about the past it is a hard question to answer.
It also seems like you are just no super happen and are looking for a reason to get out. If you two have been together for 7 years why all of a sudden do you feel you cannot trust him. Talk about stuff and be open with him about how you feel and every thing will work out. One way or another.

Answer 3

Well to me it seems as if you are looking for something to end it. Maybe you are right. I don't see how that could have happened either. But i also know from expericene that i've scratched myself without even knowing it and my ex of course accused me of the same which i know for sure that i wasn't even around a female besides her. It's worth looking at though in your case. I think that you would want to be 100% sure so you need to do more than just have scratches on his back. I mean follow him or go to the gym. Do some work. And if he is then bust him. This way you know and he know's for sure that you know.

Answer 4

It's difficult to say for certain whether or not your hubby is unfaithful. Are there other signs of trouble between you? Has there been tension in the home? The important thing is to control your emotions and try to communicate calmly. I have been there myself, and understand the turmoil you feel. Don't be so quick to give up on your marriage. Talk to your husband, find out what he is feeling. Suggest marital/couples counseling to him. If he doesn't want to go, then you go alone. Perhaps there are needs not being met in the marriage. Maybe find a good church to attend. Keep communication lines open, and find out what is truly happening in his life. Don't jump to conclusions, but don't be a doormat. Marriages can overcome infidelity, and become strong and loving. Best of luck to you.

Answer 5

I would feel the same as you ...and they always say it is a gut feeling when you know. I would investigate a few other things here. Check on your cell phone bill and see if there are numbers on there you are not familiar with.....also go over your credit card receipts. If you find anything out of line you have evidence to also point out to him. You have to be carefull and protect yourself that he hasn't given you an std. Men can be cruel and heartless when it comes to satisfying their own selfish needs. Something is wrong here with him if he is doing this and it is not your fault. Always know that cheating is a choice and never a mistake. I could never accept my husband cheating on me either and although I would be devastated I could not go on with him and ever trust him again! I would never be able to take the years it would take to learn only how to live with it. Good luck sweetie.

Answer 6

Sweetie, deep in your heart I think you already know the answer and yet your giving your husband the benifit of a doubt. I will not tell you or even suggest that he is having an affair behind your back, but the scratches on his back tell a diff. story. You said that already confront him and yet he denies and told you a story. Now really think hard, do you really believed his story? Follow your heart and it will lead you to the right answer.
Now I will tell you mine, my husband has the same mark on his back and he told me that he had an accident from his bike, I think not and all the sign of adultery was infront of me. I gave him a lot of chances to tell me the truth but he didn't till last December I discovered his affair with the married woman. to make my story short, he asked for another chance but I can't and wont. Now I am at peace and with my 3 teenagers. So do yourself a favor and think very hard about you now......so sorry!!

Answer 7

"I do want to end this marriage now."

So you don't need proof. You need an excuse. You want to be able to divorce him and walk away without feeling like you gave up, that you were justified.

So be it.

While the scratches seem suspicious, your behaviour seems more so. Taking pictures? Why, except to provide to a lawyer?

"And the scratches are red." Scratches ARE red.

Answer 8

I've got good tides for you my sister. Acts 2:27 says "and it shall come to pass that whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be saved". I tell you my sister, Jesus is the solution to the problem. The first thing is to be born againand according to Romans 10vs9, it is not something difficult. Just confess the lordship of Jesus Christ with your mouth and you're saved.

The next thing you need to know more of who you are from the Bible. As you study the Bible you shall find out that you can change every adverse situation using your mouth. Your husband will never cheat on you when you use your mouth right. Speak what you want to see and ignore what you're seeing. Read Joshua 1:8. It shows us how we can succeed in everything using our mouths. You can also visit www.christembassy.org to see more.

Answer 9

Sounds like your mind is made up you say you want to end the marriage now why? you have no real proof he is cheating yet so what the real deal? My guess would be you are cheating and you in your twisted mind are using this incident to justify your own infidelity.. I fell sorry for your poor poor husband...

Answer 10

Yeah he is cheating on you. No one gets those type of scratches at the gym. I go to the gym and never once have I seen anyone get any scratches like that.. Leave him, you can find someone better..