Me and my fiancee broke up last night and I just don't know what do to anymore... we have been throgh hell and back and I broke up with him last night, just because he wants to move 30miles away... and he didn't ask at all how i felt about that dicsion, so I ended it..... Was that the right choice? He's not even answering the phone for me today so I can apologize...
help!!
2007-05-23 03:14:38 · 18 answers · asked by panther 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you all have left wonderful answers... but the thing is we are christians and cannot live together till we are married so you see i cannot move out there with him... Believe me if we were married I would, however that is stricly aginst our religon................... help.... what do i do??
2007-05-23 06:57:43 · update #1
Don't call him, Panther, and don't apologize. You were right to end the relationship. What kind of person unilaterally decides to make a major life change in a relationship without consulting the partner months in advance and talking about it? That is no relationship. That is arrogant abuse. Forget this guy and move on. As hard as that will be to do, you must do it or you are going to forever suffer such episodes. And don't you deserve better than that? We all do, Panther. Get the crying over and start your life anew. The next guy will be a little more considerate and caring.
2007-05-23 03:42:07 · answer #1 · answered by John Timothy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but it sounds like you are throwing a temper tantrum because you didn't get your way!!! There should have been a discussion, and a compromise. And it is only 30 miles it isn't like it is across country, or even a different state. If you are going to make such a big deal out of something small, why wouldn't he bail when you broke it off. You need to apologize for being irrational and over reacting to something so trivial. Maybe he thought that you were supportive of his decisions, and made the presumption that it would be ok because you HAVE been through hell and back--something this minor wouldn' t make a difference. Keep trying, you owe him an apology. Go to his house and wait for him to get home from work. Take him lunch. But do something to open the discussion up, and at least apologize, and hope like hell you didn't blow it!!!!
2007-05-23 10:27:28 · answer #2 · answered by Austins Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say he is your fiancee? Girl, if yall can not handle it now please do not get married, cuz it only gets worse (believe me)
I think you have done the right thing simply because he should have taken in consideration how you felt about him moving away.Why is he moving b/c of a job?If not he should have asked you since you guys will have to live with each other one day. If he is not answering then It seems to me that he just don't care (like most men). Do not apologize, he should be the one apologizing. Wait, and if he loves you he would call you after he realizes what damage he has done. Good luck!
2007-05-23 10:30:23 · answer #3 · answered by Sundae 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to give him some time, you just ended your entire relationship and he's hurting too. Yes, it isn't good that he decided to move 30 miles away and you can understandably be upset about that news. But, you were engaged and that is the type of decision that the both of you should've made together. If he's relocating because of work, then why didn't you go? If you truly love him, give him the chance to explain why he wants to move and both of you should come to a compromise so it works for both of you, not just the one! For right now, just give him some time to cool off and get focused again, he'll come around and you two can talk things through!!
2007-05-23 10:22:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Panther, I think we need more details here, but moving 30 miles away does not seem to be a significant reason to end a relationship. But again, there may be more to the story that I am not aware of. It seems like you want to apologize and continue with your relationship. I would leave him a voicemail telling him how you feel and that you hope he will call you within the next day or two to talk further. Then, let him contact you once his emotions are in check.
2007-05-23 10:20:32 · answer #5 · answered by Scott O 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should've broke things off. I mean this can be easily resolved. He should have discussed it with you but he didn't . So things need to be considered. Why is he moving? Is it for a good reason? Can you go with him? 30 miles isn't that far(besides gas prices) If you love him you will do everything in your power to work things out. And of course he's going to be upset now, you broke off the engagement. He will come around. Just give him a little time. If he loves you everything will work out. Good Luck!
2007-05-23 10:19:29 · answer #6 · answered by Kayla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie no one can really tell you what's going on with you and your fiancee. you must really look at his point as well, yes he didn't have the rights to just make a decision of moving a bit far, but this are some of behavior of men when it comes to making a decision. They never think that sharing it to their love ones is a big thing. give him some space so he can think clearly of the mistakes that he did.
Also it really doesn't matter if he lives 30-100 miles from you,as long as the two of you love each others,things can work itself out. try to put yourself on his shoes and maybe you can understand where his coming from......
2007-05-23 10:22:45 · answer #7 · answered by islandgirl06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You broke up with him because he wants to move 30 miles away? That's not moving across the country. Sounds like you over reacted. Perhaps he should have talked to you about it but he didn't. Did he deserve what you gave him?
You need to decide if this is what you really want. You're not supposed to break up with your finance for such a minor infraction. He'll get fed up and call your bluff (which he may have already done). Good luck.
2007-05-23 10:21:25 · answer #8 · answered by katydid 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you may have acted too hastily and too severely. You have every right to be upset about him not discussing a major decision with you. Did he already make the decision? Did he already find a new place? If he could do that without speaking to his fiance, then you two may have a deeper problem here that needs to be worked out. For now, leave him a message telling him that you were hurt and you were reactive. Wait for him to cool off so you two can talk.
2007-05-23 10:26:57 · answer #9 · answered by Jbuns 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you want him making all the important decisions for you the rest of your life? I hope the answer is NO! As for him not taking your calls it is just another way to control you. The longer he ignores you he thinks you will panic and cave in to his wishes. You don't want to live this way and I think you were smart to break it off. If he comes back with a compromise you can live with then so be it. Stop calling him and wait and see what he does for you...
2007-05-23 10:22:54 · answer #10 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋