Why do ex/mother of kids expect their childrens father to take care of her?

Question

Usually when a man and woman have kids and break up/divorce, the father continues to take care of mother along with kids. When the father gets serious with someone new, he should still take care of his kids but why does the ex expect him to continue supplying HER needs? I personally think it would be an insult to the new wife. Are there other women that feel like i do or women who are the exes? how do y ou feel about this sitiuation and why would the ex expect ths and get mad when the man doesnt go along?

Answer 1

I am not sure why any woman wants to be taken care of...that has baffled me for awhile...I suppose they are used to the husband supplying what they need and cannot imagine why it would stop even after there is a new wife. When it does, they are shocked...not only has the hubby decided to move on but it feels like they are abandoning the family that they already have and that is not fair. It is human nature to protect their own and thats what we mommy's do and so I think they get rude and angry.

Answer 2

I have been paying child support for several years and have never felt I was being treated unfairly. The kids got to remain in their home, stay at their schools, had a few bucks for activities. I voluntarily pay extra each month. The ex isnt exactly living high on the hog.

If she didnt have the children she could live in a small appartment instead of a three bedroomm house, her utility bills would be about 1/4 of what is, groceries would be 1/3, she needs a vehicle to run the kids to school, ball practice etc., they need lunch money everyday.

If you are realistic, sit down and calculate what the actual cost of those kids is, you'll find that it is more than the support payments. Its rediculous to claim that the child support is taking care of her.

Signed
A divorced father of two that is proud of himself for putting the welfare of his kids first, and acting as a man instead of a child.

Answer 3

I am a mom of 3 and getting divorced, we are doing joint custody and I am taking care of myself and as far as the children go we will work together for them. As far as other women and wanting $$$$$$$$$$$$$$ for themselves maybe they should think of there kids, they are taking away from them while the dad has the kids. I feel it is laziness,selfishness. Understandable that a woman may have been a home maker well guess what I was and got a career. I don't want him taking care of me I want him taking care of our children. So women who do the hang your kids over the dad for money crap, that is just WRONG.. I can understand child
support for the children's needs by all means, just because the parents couldn't make it in a marriage doesn't mean you can't set forth a better example for those kids. Do you who do this want your daughters growing up thinking its OK to get a sugar daddy or a son to get a sugar momma? I mean people please think of the kids, a few min. to make n a life time to teach them at least we can guide them to do better than our mistakes and set better examples. For the sake of the kids stop being SELFISH, when you choose to divorce you choose to NOT be taken care of, just the kids from that moment on and that comes from BOTH of you..Sorry I just feel very strong about this topic...Tired of seeing this crap take place..
~Angel~

Answer 4

There are a lot of ways of answering this question, because it could be taken many ways, because you have not been nearly specific enough in asking it.

Take care of the ex in what way?

Since you haven’t given any specifics, I’m going to assume that you mean caring for her financially via alimony. If the court has ordered him to pay alimony, then the fact that he has a new girlfriend/wife doesn’t change that, and I fail to see how his new girlfriend/wife could view that as ‘insulting’.

But maybe that’s not the situation you’re referring to? Maybe you mean taking care of the ex as in doing things for her. So, let’s say for example, that her water pipe burst, so she has to turn off the water to the house. He might go and fix it for her. Not because he has to or because he wants to help *her*, but because when she has no water, the kids have no water. Personally, I find men like that very admirable, because they obviously put their *kids* above everything else (even their feelings about the ex).

Or maybe you’re referring to something else?

Be more specific.

Answer 5

Personally I think its messed up BUT...if the husband wanted the woman to stay home and take care of their children and not work, the woman has to make a living to pay the bill some how. Until the ex can get on her feet and get a job herself, I understand spouse-support. But too many women take advantage of it and give us all a bad rap

Answer 6

the only father that became pronounced became Shannon's dad, in interview he did no longer look to stricken approximately how his baby became offered up and by way of whom. the different fathers could care even much less, any descent father may be very worried some mom who has babies by way of many diverse blokes. it form of feels all too uncomplicated place that individuals do no longer take precautions or perhaps they think of they're on a breeding application. It leaves the youngsters of those stupid human beings in an extremely undesirable issue with mothers and fathers who do no longer care and only save churning out little ones. no longer all single parent or undesirable families are only like the Mathews it supplies families on estates, myself secure, an extremely undesirable call Andy

Answer 7

It really depends on the cause of the relationship ending. A lot of times if a woman feels betrayed by a man, she wants him to pay for what he has done to her so in order to keep the peace he agrees to help her finacially to "clean up" his mistakes, but with other women they are just money hungry and vindictive and it's a way for them to stay atttached. However, consider the fact that income is decreased and she may really need the help.

Answer 8

I would NEVER expect my ex to take care of me. I don't expect anyone to take care of me OR my kids EXCEPT ME. If I had help with the children then B O N U S!!! Unless there is a court order for alimony--she needs to learn to survive on her own. The greatest sense of accomplishment that I have is that I need no man to make me or break me!!! I have never received child support, or anything from my ex, his son is almost 12, been gone since 2, my son is diabled, and I never heard a word from his father!! I think that the ex is wrong for expecting anything and is using it as a means to hold on to something that has obviously been let go by you. It is the only means of guilt that remains, and I wouldn't buy into it from her, don't allow her to control or manipulate you by playing a guilt factor, or anything like it!!! Move on with your life--TAKE CARE OF YOUR KIDS, but don't worry about her, she needs to learn to provide for herself!!!!

Answer 9

Well, he made a vow, and if it's his fault that we divorced then I'd expect him to face the consequences. If it were my fault or the fault of both of us it'd be different.

Still, even then we made an agreement that we were going to homeschool our kids no matter what, so that factors into things as well... I still expect him to be a good father to his kids, whether married to me or not, and we both agree that putting the kids in school is not good for them, and considering how much support the govt gives to homeschooling families (=none), he'll have to take care of me as well as the kids.

As to his new wife... too bad, she knew what she was getting herself into. Nobody forced her to marry my ex.

Anyway, this is all theoretical and I'm pretty sure it's going to stay that way. I love my husband and afaik he loves me. :)

Answer 10

If the ex was a stay at home mom then she needs time to get a job and make enough to support herself and her share of the children's needs. As the new lady in his life you need to take him as is or move on. The arrangement they have is absolutely none of your business!