I have been married for 17 years. My husband is a very good liar, he takes things from the house and never admits has taken them. I have missed so many items in house, thinking that they have been stolen only to find that he has taken them to his small business in town. What worries me is that he never admits to taking them. Lately music CDs have been disapearing in the house, he knew nothing about it, only to find them hidden in one of his travel bags. I dont know but this is tearing me apart and my love for him is just deteriorating, when I look at him I just feel resentment just because of his attitude. Kindly help.
2007-05-23 02:40:51 · 13 answers · asked by mabennyt 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would sit him down and have a serious talk about it. Give examples and what you find and where. This sounds like it could be a serious problem if he's taking things and won't admit it. Wonder what else he's taken from any other place? Let him know this angers you and needs to stop, and if not you may have to take drastic measures. This would lead me to not be able to trust the person, and once that happens, nothing else can be worked on. Once I feel resentment, I really can't recover from something like that with that person. Good luck!
2007-05-23 03:19:42 · answer #1 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can definitely understand how resentment would grow. Sadly enough, there is nothing worse than a liar. They tear down the trust, and I'm sure you don't know where to turn. I would try talking to him again, and let him know......don't ask......tell him you know he is taking things from the house, and what his lying is doing to you. Let him know you are having a hard time living under these conditions. See if any of that gets a rise out of him. If not, unfortunately, you might have to make a decision that's a bit more harsh. Cross that bridge if you come to it.
2007-05-23 11:26:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, what kind of help do you want?
Assuming you want to remain married to him - then you can go over to his business once a month and retrieve all the "lost' articles.
However, if he's lying about small things - what else is he lying about?
Consider speaking with your banker and a lawyer about your rights and liabilities. Not that you suspect some kind of mischief - but so you can protect yourself should something happen.
2007-05-23 09:54:35 · answer #3 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It almost sounds like he is gradually moving out. It sounds very suspicious to me. Even if it's just that he is quietly stealing and not owning up to it, he's got a serious problem. It sounds like he needs to get some help, or even marriage counseling for the two of you. This problem can only get worse if not tended to. If he refuses help and continues the behavior, you might have to make a decision to leave him behind, for your own sanity, and resume your life without him.
2007-05-23 09:53:44 · answer #4 · answered by Michael V 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First comfront him with what you do know.
Suggest that the two of you go to counseling about this.
As a last resort file for divorce for alienation of affection and try to move on with your life.
2007-05-23 10:08:25 · answer #5 · answered by steinerrw 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you have resentment building, then this isn't going to be easy to overcome. It's not like you can look at it with humor. Go to counseling even if he won't go with you.
2007-05-23 14:29:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he might have an addiction of some sort. You both sound attend some marriage counseling and try to get help.
2007-05-23 09:44:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
he needs help, he has an addiction, i knew a man that was the same way, he is much better now but had to see a doctor for many years to get over it
2007-05-23 09:53:09 · answer #8 · answered by bluelitttt 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Politely tell him that you don't want him to take the stuff anymore without asking. If he continues to do it, then hide things he may want to take and make sure he can't find them. Then, he won't be able to take them.
2007-05-23 09:53:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sounds to me like he has kleptomania. You need to confront him with the fact that you KNOW that it is him and that you are trying to understand why he does these things. Please be kind while talking to him as anger will probably only make hm defensive.
2007-05-23 09:50:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋