My husband insists that even if he is lying to someone (whether it be family or friends) that I should cover up for him. I am totally against this but he feels that a wife should always be on the husband's side in these cases. He was telling some friends that he had to work a particular night and when I overheard it I said "no you don't", figuring he had his schedule mixed up. This turned into a huge fight and I was told I should always cover for him. Your opinions please...I am at my wits end.
2007-05-23 02:08:14 · 19 answers · asked by Super mom 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Take the path of least resistance and in situations where you want to contradict, just say nothing and talk about it later. Why cause a problem? In the situation you describe, maybe he just wanted to do something other than be with those guys and you put him into a bad situation. Sometimes little white lies have no harm and have a reasonable explanation. Cut him some slack and stand by your man! Maybe one time you will need him to back up your excuse so that you don't have to hang out with an annoying acquaintance!
2007-05-23 02:14:49 · answer #1 · answered by Drew C 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
i guess there is a fine line between when and what can you cover up for him... in the situation like you said, he might be trying to avoid a night out with the friends or somethign that he wasn't comfortable with and in such cases, it may be best for you to not interrupt.... but if he's on a lying spree, then you can't be supporting his lies... coz at the end it's only the truth that prevails... so I guess you have to make a simple judgement call about why is not stating the truth and how big of a lie is it... is he selling someone the brooklyn bridge for 10 bucks?
2007-05-23 09:14:12 · answer #2 · answered by the_answer_man 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you lie to cover for someone else you lower your own standards to those of the liar while putting your credibility in question ever there after.
On the other hand, some people deserve to be lied to (the boss comes immediately to mind) and I wouldn't rate that in the same category. The boss often times has unreasonable, self-serving demands that he places upon employees while at the same time having no real concern for the personal needs and desires of the workforce. Such people are not deserving of the truth since the truth is wasted on those who cannot comprehend it.
2007-05-23 09:15:09 · answer #3 · answered by Renegade_X 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Personally I would not lie for my husband. Why should I? If hubby wants to lie that is him but I wont become a liar for his sake or anyone else's. You yourself said you are against it so apparently you are not comfortable with lying. Try telling your husband how you feel and if he insists you lie for him then I would say he has some issues he needs to deal with.
2007-05-23 09:28:27 · answer #4 · answered by sapphireblaze 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, if he is a pathological liar...then no. But a little white lie every so often to spare feelings or avoid something, not such a big deal. United front with hubby...unless it's really a problem and you feel like you are being compromised.
2007-05-23 09:35:20 · answer #5 · answered by Shelly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should NEVER out him....BUT this doesn't mean you have to be part of the conspiracy. Just make it clear that you won't out him in the future but in return you don't want him to make you part of the ruse. BTW....correcting your husband is something that should be done in PRIVATE...not a public setting. In return your husband should show you the same courtesy...
Occasionally in polite society, it is best to use a white lie to get out of committments that we don't wish to attend without insulting the host's offer. You were in the wrong to out your husband and to correct him in publically..... A family should be a team, just make it clear to hubby not to ask you to conspire with him in the future UNLESS he has obtained your permission FIRST.
2007-05-23 09:19:44 · answer #6 · answered by Felix 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would defintley tell him that your are not happy with what he does, but stand by your man....don't humiliate him in front of anyone...do it out of ear shot from anyone else, when did you ever call your boss and tell them the real reason your not coming in, is well I was tired and wanted to sleep in or did you tell them you were sick or had an appointment......or tell your friends you could not make a luncheon because you were too busy, or had dr appointment or, well your company or attitude is crappy today and don't want to be around them...come on now...be honest with yourself
2007-05-23 09:14:55 · answer #7 · answered by jonni_hayes 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, and no. If he doesn't want to hang out with his friends then yes, you should cover for him. If it the lie is going to hurt someone, I would talk to him. But covering for him because he doesn't want to do something, is not wrong. You should support your husband.
2007-05-23 09:13:22 · answer #8 · answered by ***ME*** 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should cover for him in certain instances, but you need to watch out when you tell a lie because it will always come back on you.
2007-05-23 09:13:07 · answer #9 · answered by I am woman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I absolutley can not stand lying and my hubby knows it, yet for some reason men lie and about the stupidest things, but i've told him i don't lie and i will not cover up for your lies.....just think if he's lying to them what is he lying to you about....it sucks, i hate lies and to be honest i have no clue how to make men stop lying...it's just so dumb.....
2007-05-23 09:30:06 · answer #10 · answered by Nita and Michael 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋