The reason we are together is my baby. I just can't think of leaving her or her growing up without her dad. We have also decided to see other ppl but have not taken that step as yet. I don't know how long i will go on like this.If you are also in a similar situation, pls share/guide/suggest ways to make it work.
And pls do not suggest to go to therapy. Thats out of question. Only share if you are/or have been in the same boat. And how do you cope. What rules are in place. When do you think its right to tell your kid about it?
Pls help.
2007-05-23 01:50:50 · 10 answers · asked by saint 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Afetr reading so many responses i have one question?
Was I not clear that people with similar exp only need to reply?
2007-05-23 02:23:47 · update #1
I am the product of parents staying together because of the kids. Let me tell you, it doesn't work. Kids aren't stupid. We knew my parents didn't like each other. I think it's better to get divorced then stay in an unhealthy relationship. Your baby will still see her Dad and she'll still have him as a role model. Even better, you will be showing her that she can stand on her own two feet.
2007-05-23 01:59:00 · answer #1 · answered by retropink 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im in the same boat. U need to be strong and believe in yourself. First of all, the whole world will tell u to that the child comes first, and its true. If both of yous are not happy, the child will pick it up, whether you tell your child or not.
The dilemma lies here: if you separate in hope that you will find hapiness with someone else or even if you decide to stay alon, fair enough, but the child will suffer.
If you decide to stay together, then you might not be too happy with your partner, but at least the child is in a secure and stable relationship.
I know that a lot of peopple may disagree with me, but those people are only saying what they think. Its like the book 'to kill a mockingbird'. you have to step into the shoes of that person before u make a judgement. For instance, a person will never know what it feels like to have a child, and after they have it, there is a special bond which is unbreakable.
As for coping..what can i say. I take each day as it comes by, trying to put my child first. I must say, i am not entirely happy all the time, but i do try, and i hope that my son understands the sacrifice i have made with my life for him.
2007-05-23 09:31:53 · answer #2 · answered by Honey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"The reason we are together is my baby." but you're not really together. Having multiple men and women in and out of your home is not going to be healthy for your daughter.
You won't get counseling and you've decided to not work on
the relationship.
Why are you married again? Why do you have a child?
You should consider, growing up, being responsible, and working out your differences with your husband ... or get an annulment and putting this child up for adoption to an intact husband and wife team. This child deserves better that what you are offering her.
2007-05-23 09:02:31 · answer #3 · answered by AnswerGuy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Staying together for the benefit of the kids is usually not a good reason; either the parents love each other or they don't. You're only going to confuse the child more by staying together yet seeing others.
2007-05-23 08:54:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are looking for someone to have a pitty party with. If you child is a baby then why are you worrying about telling him/her about it? The situation is going to screw your kid up. Seeing other people? Not wanting to seek therapy? You are going to teach your child everything that you are doing and he/she will follow in your foot steps. We create the kind of adults our children will be. Get off your soap box and do what is REALLY right for your kid. It is not about you anymore, it is about the baby. If you are not willing to do what is necessary to provide a stable environment for your child then maybe you shouldn't have had one. Sorry, don't ask for advice if you don't want the truth.
2007-05-23 09:03:06 · answer #5 · answered by jessjones 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm in a married relationship. We have kids and they are our first priority. We are not IN love with eachother anymore, BUT are Great friends! We both decided it's okay to see other people but first and foremost of kids are our priority. He looks at other women and it's fine with me. Just be upfront with eachother. We sit and talk daily about anything and everything. I personally love the arrangement we are in. For the first time in 6 years we are getting along and our kids don't have to see us fight or scream at eachother.
2007-05-23 09:02:45 · answer #6 · answered by anonymous 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Staying together strictly for the children may not be the best idea. As Dr. Phil always says...it's better to be from a broken home than to live in one"
2007-05-23 09:53:12 · answer #7 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe me, that is just an excuse! I used that excuse for a long time but I finally realized it was just that, an excuse, when we seperated. I missed him deeply and now we are back together. I will never use that excuse again!
2007-05-23 09:06:35 · answer #8 · answered by Blue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are times sacrifices need to be made. The child didn't ask to be born. I suppose you need to pull yourself together for the sake of your child. But you must know how to do it.
2007-05-23 08:57:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
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2007-05-23 12:31:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋