Married 15 yrs, 2 kids, lost 1 house to foreclosure, filed bk once, could lose another house, he has had approx 16 jobs in 20 yrs, something big is always gonna happen, drinks way to much & mixes it w/perscriptions, doesn't spend time with the kids unless it's something he wants to do and we have no sex life anymore. I'm tired of worrying and fed up with the constant wondering if we'll be okay. Yes, I have a job now but I was a stay at home mom for years and I have no money to try and go back to school. My parents want to buy me a house so I can start fresh with the kids. Oh and I suggested counciling and surprise he said no.
2007-05-23 01:45:26 · 14 answers · asked by snobunny1966 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i was married for 21 yrs and just got divorced december 29 of last yr. i have one daughter. believe me when i say children are not stupid. they see and hear everything that goes on. its just as stressful for them as it is for you, just maybe for different reasons. let your mom and dad help you. it is hard to help people who wont help themselves. be strong, be proud, and realize that this pain will only last for a little while and i suggest not worrying about today and concentrate on your tomorrow. it will be bright, i promise. believe in yourself...cuz whether you think u can or cant...u are right. i wish u well my dear..good luck
2007-05-23 02:06:56 · answer #1 · answered by wee willie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As scary as it may seem you just have to look in the mirror and ask yourself if you are willing to live this way any more. If the answer is no then pack up your children and your belongings and head for the door.
I am not saying it will be easy - loosing a marriage (even a bad one) is really a hard thing to go through. There is a brighter life out there if you are willing to put your energy into finding it.
As for money for school - hogwash. There are grants and loans and scholarships -- you can make yourself into anything you want to be with enough drive and moxy to go for it.
Think of your kids as well -- what are they learning about sucess in life if their role model is a man who drinks, drugs, and can't hold a job. Teach them the benefit of strength and goals. Show them a better life.
2007-05-23 01:56:12 · answer #2 · answered by Susie D 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can only ask why you are wasting your life with this loser...and subjecting your kids to that kind of role model father???
I can see it for a few years, but after you realized he was not ever going to change why didn't you leave?
Go...get out and start a good new life for you and your children.
Not a hard decision to make regardless of how long you have been together from what you have said.
Do it for you and your kids...leave the bum.
be cool...
2007-05-23 01:51:35 · answer #3 · answered by CC Babydoll 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I'd say, leave. Life's too short to be in a miserable marriage. I'm sure it won't be easy, but it seems you have a support network to help you (your parents seem willing). And, there are lots of single moms who go to school. Have some trust and faith in yourself and you can do whatever you set your mind to... and you don't have to settle for being unhappy with a man who doesn't appreciate you or tend to your needs.
2007-05-23 01:58:36 · answer #4 · answered by death_by_platform_shoes 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I was married for 19 years, and the day I decided that I wanted to leave, I said to my ex that he must lend me his car and when he said no, I said Ok then you take me where I want to go, and I took him with me to court and served him with the divorce papers there and then, and he knows it's over and that is why he refuses to seek councelling, looks like he likes being in debt, leave now hun before your nerve leaves you, your parents are willing to help go while the going is good, and don't take that debt ridden man back into your life please................
2007-05-23 02:09:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the decision has been made for you. You know it would be best for you, and your kids, to leave him. Do it now. Phone up a lawyer for a consultation. Get yourself & your kids out of this mess.
2007-05-23 01:51:49 · answer #6 · answered by retropink 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Leave him and dont fret abt it too much.. just think of what more u could lose if u stayed with him.. i am sure by this time, u have already lost urself.. if u dont wanna lose more... leave and reinvent ur life...
2007-05-23 02:01:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry ,but you married him for better for worse, hang in there!
Everyone wants the easy way out! Divorce opens up a whole new set of problems for the rest of your life!
2007-05-23 01:56:57 · answer #8 · answered by fstmx 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
it must be really hard for anyone to move out after so many years.i think you should give one last try,for the sake of the kids.pray to god.if he still doesn't change ,move out.good luck.
2007-05-23 02:33:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The decision sould be easy with what you have been through. The counseling needs to be for you and your kids, screw him. Let him have his misery, make yourself and your kids happy...get out!
2007-05-23 01:54:30 · answer #10 · answered by jessjones 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋