I would like another baby. I shall be 41 in November. Is this too old?

Question

I have three other children all of which were normal pregnancies. Am I too old?

Answer 1

YES!!. Any older and you become GRANDMA material. I mean how horrible would it be for your child to lose their mother at an early age, only because you waited too long to have children. Children need young, energetic parents!!! Not to mention, it takes a lot of energy to raise children. Plus, think of it this way---Do you want to be around to enjoy your grandkids and see them grow? After all, you would most likely be pushing 60, or older when that happens. Not much time and energy to have fun with the grandkids at that age (that is if you live that long?!?)!

On a personal note, I am speaking from experience. My best friend since fourth grade had parents that had her in their late thirties. It was always evident that her parents were a lot older than all of the other kids' parents in our class (including mine). When we got into high school her parents never played softball, kickball, or other active things that most of the other parents enjoyed being involved with. I know this bothered my best friend.

However, the huge impact of her parents age came just this past February, when her father died of a heart attack at age 65. She is only 26 and feels as though she did not have enough years with her father. Not to mention the fact that she is now worried for her mothers health, not just because of the passing of her father, but also because her mom is 66.

In addition to that, my friend does not have children yet...so when she does her kids will never personally get to know their grandfather, and HOPEFULLY her mother will be around to become a GRANDMOTHER!! So please think about all aspects and effects before you have a child at age 41. God Bless!

Answer 2

Hello there,
If you are in pretty good health I would say "Go for it!". You will want to find a doctor who is supportive and perhaps even one who works with high risk pregnancies. Not that yours woud necessarily be high risk but technically I think it would qualify. You will get the bet quality of care that way. Are you planning on having any of the tests to make sure your baby is normal? If you do are your prepared for what you would do if you get bad news? I know that these tests are not infallible and have been wrong in several cases. Women have aborted perfectly healthy babies....tests can be wrong.
There are problems associated with having a baby after 40 but I know that I would NOT let that stop me.
You will find that you do not have all the energy that you had when you were younger. I had my babies when I was younger and adopted when I was 40. Just taking care of an infant was harder this time around. I would definitely suggest breastfeeding as I had to give my adopted baby a bottle and wow did I miss breastfeeding! I don't know how bottlefeeding mothers do it!! There were a million times in each day that I wished I could just nurse my baby. I could not relactate because of a cancer scare that I had. I had NO idea that bottle feeding was SO much more work than breastfeeding. I had read it and heard it but until I did it both ways I had no way to compare!
Good luck and if you want to have another baby I hope that you do. I would not let anything stand in my way. Good luck!
Love and Blessings
Lady Trinity~

Answer 3

Are you too old? Only you can answer that. But medically, your eggs are getting a bit aged. Our eggs are developed while we are still in our mothers womb, unlike sperm, that are made fresh daily. So those eggs you have, are already 41yrs old, approximately. So after 40 years, those eggs start to show signs of aging. One of the biggest problems that can occur, is Downs Syndrome. There are many types of chromosomal problems that can occur after age 40, just due to the age of our eggs. It has nothing to do with your mental status, or how personally great you feel. Downs Syndrome after age 40 has a 1 in 100 chance of occurring. According to the March of dimes, a woman 40 yrs of age has a much higher chance of having gestational diabetes, placental problems, premature delivery, and stillbirth. Also, the need for Cesarean is increased.

If it were my decision, I would say no. Pregnancy is hard on a body. I could tell the difference when I was 22 from when I was 32. I wouldn't want to put my body into that much turmoil when I am 40 or 41 yrs old. I dont want to take the chances of having a mentally retarded child, as that will require huge life changes for everyone, and if I did, then that child wouldn't have me as a parent but for about 30 yrs or so. Even if the child were born perfect, you'd be anywhere from 60-70 when they'd be getting married. I would consider adopting a child, if I felt I had more love to spread to other children. There are tons in foster care that have never felt a mothers love and are waiting for just that.

Answer 4

You are only as old as you feel but consult your dr. One of my teachers had twins at age 42. She is still working full time and raising two beautiful boys. Sure she is a little more tired, but I don't think it harmed her in any way. The children are "normal" and very healthy. She did need assistance to get pregant though. I know she took some fertilization drugs. She also thought about when they were growing up. When she is 62, they will be 20. She will hopefully still be alive for another 20 yrs after which will see them way into adulthood. Her husband on the other hand is 53. He will be in his 70s but they still wanted to have children.
My x's father is 82 and my x is 30. His father is still going strong and acts just like the day we met 13 years ago. My x never was denied anything and is very loved.

Answer 5

i think that 41 is not old to have a baby . if you feel that you can cope with a new baby in the house then go for it
i had my first child when i was 17 and i`ve just had my second child i`m now 34 and loving every moment of it the joys a new baby brings are very rewarding and anyway age is just a number
good luck .x.

Answer 6

I dont think 41 is too old,as long as you are healthy and a loving parent.with regards to the downs sydrome risk,there is a scan which is called the nucal scan.it has to be done in the 14th week of pregnancy.A measurement is taken of the babies neck,and this gives a fairly good idea whether the baby may have downs.|This test gives you your own personal ratio of risk.I had this test done at 39 yrs.i was told that walking thro the door at that age the risk of downs would be 1 in 110.i had the nucal test done and there and then was told that my ratio had improved to 1 in 616.i didnt have to have a blood test which is to directly look for risk of downs but i did and then the ratio was 1 in 5000.some parts of the country this is free on the national health but in the north west i had to pay approx 200 pound privately for the tests.
I went on to have a gorgeous baby boy who is now 25 weeks and the light of our lives!i have two teenage daughters of 16 and 14,so it was a shock to start again,but its great.i'm older and wiser!

Answer 7

I would be cautious. The risk of down syndrome does go up the older the mother is. From the Mayo Clinic's website I found this information:

"The risk of chromosome abnormalities is higher
Babies born to older mothers have a higher risk of various chromosome problems, such as Down syndrome. At age 30, the risk of Down syndrome is about one in 1,000 live births. At age 35, it's about one in 400. By age 40, the risk is about one in 100."

I my opinion, 1 in 100 is a high risk. My 2 year old son has cerebral palsy (pretty severe) and so I'm of the mindset that "you never think it will happen to you, but it can." If you think that you would be ok raising a child with a disability such as Down's, then fine.

Have you ever thought about adoption? A friend of mine is doing foster care, and the foster child she has now is 2 years old - she's had him since he was about 12 months old I think. Looks like his birth mother is going to lose her parental rights, so my friend will have the option of adopting him (which she would). He is a great kid - very smart, nothing wrong with him.

Just a thought. Good luck. I am going through the same decision of whether or not to have more children. My son is my only child, but he is so handicapped (but an absolute doll, and smiles and laughs and loves). The doctors don't know why he is disabled, but if it's genetic, then there's a high chance (one in four) that I'll have another disabled child. If it's not genetic (it may be birth trauma related), then who knows. But I'm 36 so I'm thinking - what if the child has Down's Syndrome? Then I'd have two special-needs children. So, if we want more children, we'll probably adopt, even though I'd love to be pregnant and all that.

Anyway, good luck with your decision.

Well, I just read some of the other opinions of people telling you to "go for it" and I'm a little aggravated by that.
They are ignoring the facts that your risks are much higher when you are older. It has nothing to do with how great you feel - your eggs (and mine) are older now and therefore there are SERIOUS risks. Not to mention all the other risks (prematurity, etc). All these people on here telling you to "go for it" are not going to have to raise your child, who may potentially have serious birth defects. I'm not being negative towards you, but I am toward these other posters who are not basing their opinions in REALITY.

Good luck to you.

Answer 8

I dont think you're too old my mum had me at the age of 40 so really its not too old in fact I want to start having children at the age of 40, so I think you should have a baby but you also have to be aware of the preblems like your life expectancy and most of people that have babys at the age 40 or below have problems in their babys I mean they could become special need ans stuff....

Answer 9

You aren't too old to have a baby but do you really want to be going through all the teenage stuff when you are in your 50s? I went through a phase of wanting another baby, like you I have 3 all healthy, but when I thought about it I really didn't want to go through all the years and various problems that follow again! My youngest is no 19 and I have my life back, it's great! Don't get me wrong I love my kids more than anything but it is great to be able to do what I want without having to think about who is going to look after them.
Good luck whatever you decide.

Answer 10

It may take more out of u. there are a few more risks like downs syndrome etc. but u could be tested for that. my aunt had a surprise pregnancy at 43 and everything turned out OK. the choice is u and Ur partners. maybe get checked by doctor to make sure ur health is OK. but i don't see y u couldn't. good luck