The girl im speaking of has a great personality, wonderful mother of 3 , but I cant seem to get the betrayal of her not telling me in the beginning or the start of our relationtionship.I mean why wait 6 years to tell me. I wonder if its embarassesment of the fact she was once an escort or if there might be other underlying issues thats She is ashamed to tell me about.As far to date, she hasnt cheated on me but I just cant see the reasoning in the un-truths she has given me over the years. Can someone please give me some insight as to what i should do.
2007-05-22 20:54:01 · 29 answers · asked by gomer doodlhead 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If she told you this earlier would you still be with her?
She was affraid to scare you away or that you would think she is not good enough for you or she will be cheating on you etc.
The most important thing is that she finally did and she doesnt have to hide it from you anymore.
2007-05-22 22:36:47 · answer #1 · answered by Natalie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mate,
your girl is a great person, a wonderful mother and she has always been loyal to you, and also honest.
So why on earth would you be mad with her because she is now ready to trust you with something she needed to be ready for? Just because YOU think she should have come out with this does not constitute any misbehaving on her side.
She could have kept it from you at all and for all eternity, but she was honest and trusted you. What else do you want?
Do not judge on anybody's past. No matter what you think about her past job, it is just this: What "you" think. Nobody can judge on other people, we don't know what made her do what she did and we all make mistakes in our life and have deserved that we are forgiven if we proof to be a good person.
Imagine if you had been a professional male escort in the past. How easy or difficult would it have been for you?
Coming out after such a long time is even more difficult, because she must have carried this burden for a long time, always looking for right moment.
The fact that she had the guts and the trust to tell you has deserved nothing but unrestricted respect.
2007-05-22 21:03:50 · answer #2 · answered by Eugene 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nobody can tell you what to do because the answer is based in the value of your relationship. There is a problem with what she did but at the same time you should know she is trying to come completely clean to pave the way for an even more honest relationship than you have now. You didn't find out from someone else. She told you. Okay it was late but haven't you done something you haven't been willing to talk about?
2007-05-22 21:43:07 · answer #3 · answered by David M 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I were you, it would matter most whether she had been an escort during the 6 years we'd been together. Anything before that date would, to be blunt, not be my business to worry about, unless of course you feel she's put you at some risk by not telling you.
You should talk to her, let her know how you feel, and then listen to what she has to say and what reasons she gives for not having told you. Thats the only way you can really begin to sort out your feelings about it all.
2007-05-22 20:58:27 · answer #4 · answered by ashypoo 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
At the end of the day, we all posess a past and we have to expect that others that we get involved with (unless a virgin) will have one too.............some are a little more illustrious than others.
Maybe she should have told you from the start but then you have to think what your reaction would have been and whether that truth would/could have had a detrimental effect on your budding realtionship?
I think she could have been reasonably justified in not telling you but I also understand your viewpoint. If you can "forgive and forget" then throw yourself into it 100% but if you have the slightest doubt then you need to step back and take account..............there's ntohing more heartbreaking or frustrating than someone throwing your past in your face at every opportunity just to get a rise out of you.
Best wishes
2007-05-23 00:33:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you werent together when she was an escort you dont have the right to do anything!
Everyone is entitled to a past - was yours squeaky clean?!
As an escort she probably got checked regularly for STD's & HIV anyway, so I think you will find you're safe in that department.
Ok, so she didnt tell you - so what - she isnt doing it now & it hasnt affected her being a 'wonderful mother' as you say - so forget about it!
2007-05-23 01:13:38 · answer #6 · answered by MinibabeUK73 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is a good mother of three then she was/is protecting there best interest first and foremost. If she really cared about you in the beginning she might have been afraid of loosing you, she just didn't want that to happen. If she told you about this on her own she loves you and wanted everything in the open to see if you could handle the past and be there for her and the kids in the future. We have all done things in the past that were not to proud of? Good luck!!!
2007-05-22 21:02:48 · answer #7 · answered by nature.chic 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Everything Laird C said above!
Listen to him! It would take so much courage to come clean with that and you know she's wanted to tell you for so long. Don't make her worst nightmare come true by doing what she was afraid you'd do! Prove that you love her by standing by her. I guarantee that if she told you that, she is 100% committed to you and will never cheat or leave you. What more could a guy ask for?
It's in the past, don't punish her for it! She's all yours now.
Best of luck,
-dan
2007-05-22 21:14:40 · answer #8 · answered by d_x_pcm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everybody seems to think it's in the past and shouldn't matter but I don't agree. If you were in prison for a felony before you met she'd want to know about it and feel betrayed you kept it from her. It may be in the past but it speaks to her character that A) she did it in the first place and then B) kept it a secret. I wouldn't necessarily leave her over it but you have a right to feel at least a little betrayed.
2013-12-16 09:31:48 · answer #9 · answered by Art 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Accept that relationships grow and change, she has reached a point where she feels able to share this with you. It is just a part of her past. I will gamble that you have not given her every detail of your own past and you may choose not to.
Give her hugg - tell her she is loved - it would have taken a lot for her to tell you.
Move on - be happy with what you have together as a family now.
2007-05-24 16:20:38 · answer #10 · answered by bluefish 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋