He says he was joking or playing around and that it didn't mean anything.NO.1, he spent a lot of time talking at work, having her call him at work just to talk on the phone, etc.NO.2 he emailed her and said stuff like, how she is a hot blond and wanted to give her a "wet sloppy kiss down under".NO3, he emailed her saying how beautiful she is/he can't get the smell out of his head from her/how he missed her when she wasn't at work.NO4,he set up a meeting with her to walk around a store and chitchat, so he said.We went to a therapy after that.Then he was looking for another woman online.He went through 18 pages of women with her name looking for her, then denied he did. Last week,NO5 he emailed, "WOW!I still can't believe I actually saw you in person.You have no idea how awesome it was.It's like everything means nothing now.I'm ruined and I think I'm going crazy".He told me he isn't going to defend himself to me anymore.I am wasting my time in this marriage.I used to have hope.No more.
2007-05-22 20:35:12 · 46 answers · asked by daisy_otn 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
NO 1, NO2, NO3, NO4, NO5, represents all different women and what happened with each of them. He even told a waitress while out to dinner with me and our 2 daughters that he dropped his fork to see her bend over for it. He didn't think there was anything wrong with saying that to her. This has been going on for years now. I am so tired.
2007-05-22 20:42:42 · update #1
We have been married for almost 34 years, since we were 18yo, have 5 children, 4 are married/out on their own. Have a 16 yo daughter at home still.
2007-05-22 20:48:12 · update #2
this has been going on since 2001, every time I find out, he ends it with whoever then proceeds on to the next within a few months. If it went on before that I was unaware of it.
2007-05-22 20:49:47 · update #3
As we get older, we start to think about our own mortality. As we get older, we get wrinkly and feel not as attractive anymore. He is probably trying to re-invent his youth because it is all but gone. While we can understand the reasons why he is flirting so outrageously, he should have got a grip by now.....Its been 6 years. He knows you arent happy about it, and rightly so. Maybe he needs a bit of a shock to realise that this has gone past a joke. Tell him he doesnt have to explain anything to you any more because you are done with it.....you are out of there. Maybe when he is confronted with the thought of you not being there anymore, he may just realise that flirting is one thing to make him feel more attractive, but losing you will make him realise that he is getting older and the women he is flirting with probably would not be interested. Once he is confronted with being on his own, I think his flirting ways will stop. He has pushed you to your limit and you have every right to put your foot down and say "No More".
2007-05-22 21:19:25 · answer #1 · answered by rightio 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry for your heartache. Your husband is taking you for granted, something all couples are guilty of, however it sounds like he has taken it too far. Let him go, thats what he insist upon, i am sure he will come begging u back, hopefully by then you will love yourself enough to take things slowly and be sure he is worth the effort. Anybody can get on the internet and "hook up" finding love is a different matter. Maybe you should give him a dose of his own medicine, and maybe while doing so youll find a better place (whether it be by yourself or with someone else) than with this cruel heartless person.
2007-05-22 20:44:10 · answer #2 · answered by jennyandshannon 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have raised your children you have loved this man, now what are you going to do for yourself? If you are not happy make a change that will make you happy. Stop worrying about what other people think. Stop worrying about the children you have done your job. Now is the time for you. You have been married since you were a baby, now what? Whether or not your marriage is over is only for you to say. Take a vacation that is just for you. Leave everyone at home and take some time for yourself to do your own soul searching. Best of luck to you and for once please put yourself first.
2007-05-29 15:31:20 · answer #3 · answered by flateach33 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really feel bad for you. I know this has to be devastating going through this after being with this man for that many years. I believe you need to leave him for now, it may not have to be forever he may realize what he has lost when you are gone and completely change ( but he may not ). The point is this is not something you have to put up with. You deserve a lot more respect from him than he is giving you right now. I mean you are the mother of his children. If he can't be faithful then he doesn't deserve to have you.
2007-05-30 08:01:29 · answer #4 · answered by Kari M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He obviously has no consideration for your feelings. He knows how you feel, because you have obviously told him. I would start out with threatening divorce, just to see his reaction. If he doesn't show much of a reaction, then file. It's rediculous how men treat their girlfriends & wives. I know ther are women out there as well that do the same. I am not saying it's all men...for you men who are reading this.
I am simply saying, people are taking marriage & relationships too lightly.
You have obviously tried to stick it out. Now, I don't know your husband, he may just be the joking type...BUT, and a BIG but, it is...He should consider what you are saying & stop the nonsense. He doesn't sound like he's taking you seriously. Show him how serious you are.
Definately talk to your 16 yr old at home as well. Clue him/her in on what's going on & ask his/her opinion. Let your child know you are hurting & get their input as well. Don't just rely on outsiders.
I understand why you are trying to get others opinions, 34 yrs. is a lengthy marriage, but if you are TRULY unhappy...Let it go & be happy. If he does this in front of your kids, what kind of role model is he...and don't be a bad role model yourself by sticking it out. I am not insulting you, I am just stating my opinion. I just believe women need to stop being door mats for these men who like to flirt, cheat, experiment, or whatever they call it these days...It's unfair to the loyal wife & needs to stop. Girl, put your foot down & tell him you've had enough of his games.
Men, if you are reading this...You take the same advice for your unloyal wives/girlfriends...I hope this helps. We will keep you in our prayers & wish you the best of luck...God bless.
2007-05-29 09:50:09 · answer #5 · answered by lilzoo411@yahoo.com 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A flirt alright!
But why does he do it ?
Is it because you are contented the way you are? or is he not happy the way you are acting against him and is flirting with another because you don't give him the love and attention he needs.
Sit down go through with him 1-6(the 6 being yourself and future)
Discuss the above with him rationally and honestly and ask him why he is like that and insist on an honest answer.
It might hurt to hear a few home truths about each other ,but at least you know where your both going wrong ( it takes 2 to tango)
let me know.
Good luck
2007-05-28 11:49:09 · answer #6 · answered by david c 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He's still dancing on the fence even after therapy... either the therapist was very bad or he totally lied about everything - and he has the nerve to say you are attacking him - as if he is completely innocent!! This guy is SO backwards in his thinking it's almost scary - you are not going to get any sense in his thick skull - no sense in holding on to this guy - he clearly thinks nothing of the vows he took and you deserve better for sure.
2007-05-22 20:48:16 · answer #7 · answered by BikerChick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, my heart goes for you. Sounds very similar to my broken marriage. Same symptoms as my ex. displayed to me. It seems a very common sickness in older men these days as they get older. Honey, tell him to pack his bags and leave. He will only shatter you more then he already has if you don't make a stop to it now. It will be very hard for you at first but, there is life after seperation and your husband will find out that the grass isn't any greener on the other side and I wouldn't mind betting you that, he will come crawling back when things don't work out for him, just like mine did. I never took him back tho'. Good luck x
2007-05-22 23:56:42 · answer #8 · answered by BFCP 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you been married a long time and was he always like this or is it a mid life crisis kind of thing? I'm sorry, but I think you are right. You should try a trial separation, maybe he will recognize what he is doing to your relationship....but probably not. think you may be better off without him. He's pretty clearly in the wrong here.
2007-05-22 20:46:57 · answer #9 · answered by slipstreamer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm really sorry that you are going through this miserable and upsetting situation. I know that you love your husband and children and that you do not want anyone to get hurt, but your husbands actions aren't innocent, no matter what he says. There is no reason for a married man who truly loves his wife to disrespect her in so many ways, making it obvious and embarassing for you at times. I'm sorry, but your marraige is over. You've been through enough heartache and I would end it as soon as possible. Best wishes.
2007-05-30 10:04:18 · answer #10 · answered by Michelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋