I'm married but unhappy and have fallen for another but have 3 kids what should i do?

Answer 1

I have been in that situation before. I fell in love with another man and I was married with children. I did the selfish thing, I left my husband and married the other man. My kids hated him and blamed me for the breakup and after the newness and romance with my 2nd hubby I realized what a mistake I made. I suggest give your marriage every chance possible. Go to marriage counseling. Know in your heart you did everything possible to keep your marriage together. After all you fell in love with him one time and had children. Even now after I have divorced the other man my children still resent that I left their dad. As long as he isnt abusive or into drugs or alcohol just TRY. The grass is not always greener on the other side, only for awhile. Good luck

Answer 2

I agree with the first two answers. The grass isn't always greener on the other side. If you are unhappy, you need to talk to your husband first. If you don't want to continue the marriage then you will have a lot of changes to deal with, a new relationship in the middle of this probably won't survive. Especially if you leave your spouse for another, it seldom works out in the long run. You need to consider your life, your husbands, and your children's. Your actions will affect many lives, really think things through before you do something you may come to regret later in life. No one said that you would be happy all the time during your marriage, it is work, and sometimes it is a lot of work, but you made a vow. Think long and hard before you break it, because it will break more hearts than you think

Answer 3

Is this man that you've fallen for going to take care of your and your three children when you decide to walk away from your marriage? If not, then talk to your husband about how you're feeling.

If this man you've fallen for knows you have a husband and kids, and pursued you--then that relationship is going nowhere.

I can't tell you what you should do, but I think that you should examine yourself to try to figure out what the source of your unhappiness is.

Getting in touch with your spirituality can help you put things into perspective--it helped me when I was where you are now.

Good luck, and stay strong--your children and your family need you.

Answer 4

If I were in your shoes, I would find a therapist to help me find out why I wasn't happy in my marriage. Being honest with yourself as to why you're not happy is the first step - going into another relationship while you're married will just make things more confusing. You also need to think about your kids and how the break up of your marriage will affect them. Although kids are resilient, divorce is very hard on them. I've been divorced for 14 years - a divorce that was not the worst, but not easy either. My kids (ages 19 and 24) still remember the pain they felt when their dad and I separated. It makes me sad to think of how much pain they went through when their dad and I were going through our separation. If you do decide to leave the marriage (please don't cheat on your husband - it only makes things worse) be very conscious of your children's feelings and try to part as amicably as possible.

Answer 5

Why do people think that they will be happy all the time because they are married? I was unhappy while I was single. Get a grip, find out what's causing they unhappiness and fix it. Running to the arms of another is not the solution.

Answer 6

Ok. This may perplex you but trust when i say it is the truth.
If you are not happy, there is a reason. Right or wrong?
Most chances are you are unhappy because your Husband is not showing you enough love. Right or wrong?
If He is not being very loving, great are the chances is because you are not being Respectful to him. Right or wrong? May want to ponder that one for a few minuets.
If you will start showing him Respect at all times, making sure he is satisfied sexually at all times. He will come back around. I am not saying it is always easy. but i am saying it can be done to the best of your ability, with Gods help and it will turn your marriage around 95 degrees at least if not 100%. You have to make the effort. Men have to have this Respect from us wives, just as us wives have to have Love from our husbands. Sound Crazy? Or too good to be true?
Then try it for yourself... You can do it!!!
About fallen for another man? Women who are low on there love tanks, or emotionally low, empty may fall prey to divers temptations but you know inside yourself what is right and what is wrong. You know this is not right, so Stop before innocent people get hurt and you regret something for the rest of your life. You have taken vows before God Almighty.
Look unto your own husband, not another man. If you cannot resists temptaion right now because your love tank is sooo low, then just remove temptation from you is the best thing to do. Keep your family together. Divorce is not what its all cracked up to be. You can do it. Repair your marriage, ask God to intervene and restore your marriage. He will. As for your part in it, "You can do it"!!!!!!!!! I have just given you sound wisdom, so take it and do something with it. Good luck, God bless

Answer 7

Think long and hard about what you are doing. Are things really that bad at home or are you just in lust. What seems like love and feels so wonderful can fall apart easily when you start blending families and worrying about husbands and ex wives. You better thing about how your kids will feel. They love thier dad I imagine and will not accept the new guy. he may not be as good to them as you hope. I have had that happen to me. I never imagined my second husband could be so cruel and selfish. What is so great in the beginning may not and probably will not last. Work on your marraige. You fell in love for some reason.

Answer 8

Go to marriage counseling and concentrate on your marriage for the sake of your family. Its not just about you....you have kids and you just cant throw it all away just for some man. How do you know that it will work out with this other man? There is no guarantee and I've seen this kind of situation where the mom loses respect, her kids, and even the man that she left her husband for because it was all a phase. Think about it and be smart don't make a random choice just because your in love and think with your brain for the sake of your kids happiness.

Answer 9

I n my experiance if your unhappy your husband knows it don't fool around just be honest and consider your options. Its better to be happy because your children should come first no matter what. Your children will suffer the most in a break up. Make sure your new love understands the package he's getting. Sometimes we make choices that are very poor for ourselves and the children don'dt make the children suffer to make yourself happy..

Answer 10

Having 3 children should be considered. Don't make a hasty decison without considering the children. Maybe you need to speak with your husband maybe he is feeling the same way. You never know maybe that conversation will open the door to a deeper and closer relationship or something new.