i had a bridal shower.. andwas supposed to get married right.. well.. we broke up...?

Question

and now what should i do ... should i give everyone their gifts back. i dont want to hurt anyones feelings.. what is the right thing to do .. i am soo hurt on so many levels.. and i just cant think straight... please help...

Answer 1

Happened to me...been there, done that! Without a doubt, you need to return any unused gifts along with a note thanking them. Sorry it didn't work out for you but now you are free to find someone who deserves your fabulous self.

Answer 2

Most people who would be invited to the shower, will not accept the gift back. However, the proper thing to do is to offer it back. Call them, let them know the wedding is off and ask them what would be a good time to drop their gift off, back to them. This lets them know that you appreciated it, but since you and your fiance have broken up you don't feel right accepting the gift. Honestly, most people will not accept it back. They will see the situation you are in, and the very last thing on their minds is going to be the gift. By asking for a time to drop it off this allows them an option to just simply give a time for you to drop it off - if they want the gift back, and those who in no way shape or form want the gift back, and would be offended if you gave it back - this gives them the opportunity to express those feelings as well.

I hope this helps. Hopefully everything will work itself out for you. If it was just an argument that made you call the wedding off, don't be so quick to notify everyone - I know I was an emotional mess and had a meltdown at least once a day right before my wedding. However, if it is something more serious, my thoughts and prayers are with you, and I pray your heart mends as quickly as possible.

Answer 3

I'm really sorry about your break-up. You sound very sad and heartbroken. Don't worry too much right at this moment about the gifts. Yes, you should eventually return them, but I'm sure that no one is expecting to get them back right away. Maybe you could ask your Mom or a friend to help you with returning them, if it's too painful. Or just have someone tell everyone what has happened. I'm sure people don't even really care about the gifts... they probably are much more worried about how you are feeling. Good luck, and even though it hurts to hear this right now, you are better off knowing this before you get married. Divorce is much more painful than a break-up... trust me on this. I've been divorced, and it sucks. At least now you will have the chance to meet someone else who is better for you.

Answer 4

Sorry 'bout the break-up! :(

You said that you are hurt, & can't think straight. That suggests to me the break-up happened only recently. So don't do anything too soon so you can give yourself time to sort things out in your mind.

I am not sure what the traditional etiquette is on shower gifts if the marriage is called off. But......wait a few weeks & then I suggest that you contact each of the people who attended the shower, & thank them for their wonderful gift, & offer to return it since the wedding is off.
I think most of the people will suggest that you to keep the gift if you want it.

Hope that helps :)

Answer 5

I went through this with my first engagement. The gifts should be returned...that is what all the etiquette books state. Some people will tell you to keep them and you should, if you feel comfortable. If not, return them for in-store credit and spoil yourself with something for you.

As for the hurt...22 years later and 11 solid years into our marriage, our third newborn child is comfortably snuggled into my wife's arms as I type.

It is going to hurt and hurt for a long time. You won't trust anyone for a while, then you will want revenge, then you will want them back.

But, I can tell also state with certainty that that it will be o.k. and that it is for the best. If either of you had any doubts, now was the time, not later when so much more is at stake (like children and financial futures).

I will keep you in my prayers...
Steve

P.S. If you find yourself struggling too much, then seek counseling.

Answer 6

Hi Just me,
I'm sorry you are hurting and things didn't work out as you hoped and planned. You need to give all gifts back, that's the right thing to do. You don't need to tell anyone the circumstances of the break up, that is your personal intimate info, unless you feel the need to talk with any of them, confide in them or need the extra support.
Good luck and feel better soon.
:-) Claudia

Answer 7

The right thing to do is to give back the gifts..enclose a note expalining why. People will feel bad for you, not insulted..anyway, if you do not return the gifts, 1/2 of them will be talking about you behind your back, how rude it was to keep the gifts!

Answer 8

The proper thing to do is contact each of your friends and tell them you want to give the gifts back so they can be returned. Let them make the decision, if they want to take the item back or forget about it and let you keep it.

Answer 9

If you just broke up then wait a little bit then you really should give them back, if like the other person said on here if they accept it back then o.k and if not then you can keep it, I'd sell it if I were you though, you don't want things to remind you of that time. I hope you mend yout broken heart soon.Good luck.

Answer 10

A "maid of honor" has in no way been married and a "matron of honor" is or has been married. in actuality, the bathe is frequently some weeks or months before the marriage the place women persons - friends, sisters, cousins, mom, aunts, grandmothers, nieces, destiny in-rules, and so on. of the bride are invited. This and the bachelorette occasion tend to be hosted through the maid/matron of honor. in actuality, purely those women persons getting mutually enjoying video games, eating a small meal or finger meals (frequently healthful). look online for relaxing little video games and issues to do.