My husband calling out his ex-girlfriends name during sex and sleep...?

Question

Ok so I've been married for a few months now and thought I had a wonderfull relationship. I was aware of my husbands past relationship which was very serious, however after he broke up with his girlfriend and about a year later he and I began to date (we knew each other for years) and it was a long distance relationship. After I few months I visited him where he lived and we got married, early I know but we were/are very much in love. Now that we've been married to each other for almost a year now, things have started changing...to my surprise a few weeks ago my husband called his ex-girlfriends name while we were having sex, and the other night called her name out while he was sleeping...I was very angry with him and talked to him about it but it keeps reacurring and i just don't know what to do! I've been having mixed feelings as well and i feel as though he doesn't love me anymore or maybe never has...should I talk to him about it again, should i divorce? ANY advice? :(

Answer 1

You've only been married a few months, give him time to adjust. The madder you get, the more he will do it. Let it go, find your self-esteem and be happy.

Answer 2

If you relax a little I'm sure things would calm down and whatever she says during sex will be YOUR name. If he had a serious relationship before - getting married is a huge step, perhaps he has some issues that a kind, undersatnding wife could help him through (and they may have nothing to do with his ex). If he is dreaming about his ex, it could mean he has issues to deal with at work (and again nothing to do with his ex). But you're married now, don't even think about divorce until there are NO other possible options you can take. If you love him, then stand by him "for better or worse" and then things will improve. People get divorced too easily these days!

Answer 3

He's a bastard! Yes, and all this people here saying to forgive him and blablabla, they do not know the feeling and talk BS. A man will do that when he actually wants to disengage emotionally from you. Yes, it doesn't really matter who was the other person, if she was or not important. That nae thing is used like a sword by passive aggressive man to wound the wife deeply, beyond repair. Divorce...It depends what you expect from the relationship, but I am sure that there are many other things he's doing to push you away from him and or control you emotionally, piece of crap! You have to know that this will not stop later on, it will go on in different hurtful and low blows from him to you. Until one day you may have enough and either decide to still be with him because of kids, economics, fears, but the love you had for him will be killed. You can look for professional help, it may work, but you will most likely revenge and or suffer and be bitter for years and years until you learn to live miserably or you divorce or you get yourself a lover and call his name. This kind of bastards are such ****, their influence is for the worse and not to build a life together, sorry that you got married with him.

Answer 4

That's not a love triangle. That's a love square. lol. Trying to make you laugh. sorry. Anyhoo, you had already made your choice to marry Annette. And honestly, you didn't owe Nicole anything. It's not your responsibility that Nicole married a jerk. That was on her. I don't think that Nicole is in the picture anymore so really you are only choosing between Leslie and Annette. The difficult thing is you and Annette probably should have had counselling before you started dating other people. Now there are two other people who have feelings involved in this. You and Annette need to have a serious conversation. Can she truly forgive you for the affair with Nicole? Can she trust you again? And can you remain faithful this time? I think before you can move on with Leslie you have to finish things completely with Annette. Good luck!

Answer 5

Divorce him? Over a brain fart? Hello! Take some time to understand the male brain a little. So she passed through his mind and he opened his trap like a retard. (add eye roll here) He married you. Does he still think about other women? Yes, he does. Does the ex cross his mind? Yes, she does. Is that normal? Yes, it is. Lighten up and laugh with him about his outburst. I bet if you do, he'll love you even more for it. He can't control his dreams and many people have fantasies while having sex. He has a past and he's probably still trying to sort it all out in his head. Relax.

Answer 6

Its horrible! Its been 1 year you've got married now he's calling out his ex's name during sex and sleep, its quite surprising. Did he have any contact with her recently? I think what you can do is keep a cold distance with him for a while, give him some space. As you said he loves you a lot, he may feel your absence and forget about his ex.

Answer 7

Please don't take a divorce so lightly. It appears as if your husband has logged his ex girl friend into his mind. The mind controls the body. It is a terrible thing that he is putting you through, and he should apologize.

If there is still some love left in your relationship, I suggest that both of you seek consoling.
But always remember that sometimes it takes longer than one year to get over a failed relationship. It would have been better for you if you had waited longer before deciding to marry him.

But, good luck to you.

Answer 8

I blv you shld engage him in a conversation and find if he has feelings for his ex or go for a counselling. I know it sounds upsetting but I guess all males have this fantasy. If you were to scan the heads of all males during sex, you will find that none of them are thinking of their wife. They are either thinking pamela or somebody else which is probably their turn on. So the right thing I think you shld do is you shld have a friendly talk with him.Put aside your emotions and just have a cool talk. Find what is in his ex gf that keeps reminding him. This might just lead you to a great relationship.

Answer 9

I don't think all hope is lost. This is the first year of marriage and sometimes we think the grass is greener elsewhere. I think you two should see a counselor. You can get over this. He isn't cheating, he's fantasizing. And we all do it. He may be under a lot of stress w/ work, etc.... This is the "for worse" part. Find someone to help you both sort out the issues.

Answer 10

this is not cool at all I feel really bad for you. Give it some time you just got married the first couple of years are hard believe me i'm still going through it. talk to him and let him know that, that will no be tolerated and it's no exceptions. ask him how would he feel if you did the same. if all else fails go to marriage counseling or talk to you pastor or priest.
Good luck

Answer 11

Don't worry about it. You are married to him. Time will stop the dreams. Men sleep "funny". They are really strange creatures in bed. Wait, when they are old they get worse, like pass gas, chew, snore, kick, thrash around , sleep in the middle of the bed, dribble on the pillow and scratch, you know where???? Enjoy him. Love him.Don't worry....5 years from now, this will mean nothing....