How do I help him overcome his addiction to online gaming without seeming like a nag? He feels threatened every time I bring it up...it drives me crazy and it is hurting his health.
2007-05-22 14:59:01 · 11 answers · asked by Eliza 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
YOU can not change someone else, you can not even "help" him change. He has to do it on his own, and he has to really want it for himself. If ( and hopefully when) he chooses to change, you can only offer emotional support.
This is his problem, and you need to learn how to detach yourself from it. There are many programs, such as Al-Anon, for families of addicts, and you may want to look into those resources.
You have to make the choice whether to stay or go. Counseling on your own would be a good start to help you through this. You could also ask him to go to couples counseling, because this probably isn't the only issue in the relationship that needs to be addressed.
2007-05-22 15:03:31 · answer #1 · answered by HearKat 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hurting his health? You mean from lack of activity? It seems like it would be harming his pocket book more then anything. Theres some very accusing statements you made, first of all labeling him as having an addictive peronality. Is that your personal feeling or does he have other addition or taken the gambling to a level where he didn't have enough money for other things. The other thing is saying he feels "threatened" maybe he doesn't feel threatened, maybe you feel its a bigger problem then it is.
Is this concern about him, or is it about him being neglectful towards you? Because number one, you can't change a person unless they want to change, and number two if your identifying "whats wrong with him" because of your own issues towards what he does then your really going about it the wrong way.
I think marriage couseling would be good. You could bring out the issue in an environment where he is not at a computer, and he can talk about his feelings. Plus you have a third party to deterimine if he is in fact "addicted". This will give you time to explain your feelings about the amount of time he spends at this as well.
Maybe he is addicted, maybe he's not. But to get anywhere with this, your going to have to talk to each other without accusing one another.
2007-05-22 15:07:22 · answer #2 · answered by Kellie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give it up, girl. From someone who's been there done that, you are wasting your time! I tried to help my ex-husband overcome his marijuana addiction for over 8 years, and it just didn't work. Your husband has to want to give it up, there is nothing you can do to make him do that. You can tell him how it makes you feel, how worried you are, what you are and are not willing to put up with, what you want to happen, etc, but he has to make up his own mind that it's something he wants to be rid of, for whatever reason. Then you can be there and support him, though you can't do it for him, you can encourage him through it. One thing you have to be prepared for, and believe me I do know how hard it is, but you have to be prepared for the possibility that he will never give it up. You need to ask yourself if that's something you can live with, or not. And if not, at some point you may need to walk away. Don't bother with the "if only" and "if I just.....he'll care and quit" because if he chooses his addiction, you will ALWAYS come at best second in his life.
My marriage broke down, and even after 4 years apart he still can't see why, is still addicted and still putting his kids at risk, and still choosing his addiction. You can't change them.
I hope you have better luck than I did!
2007-05-22 15:10:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
First call whoever you're coputer provider is, then tell them that you have a severe problem that is destroying your family and is there any way they can prevent gaming coming into your pc, if not you will have to cancel them, but ask if they can add a "private note" to your account to not re-open due to husband's addiction. They may be able to do this & it will prevent him from gaming on-line --- at least with this provider. You may have to do this with every provider he signs up with. If that doesnt work, you could make sure they all get bad checks from you or incorrect credit card info anything to where they'll lock out your access to on-line services.
But you'll have to get him into rehab and you may have to have intervention!!! There's one on-line who comes to your home and helps addicts of all kinds. BEST WISHES !!! SKEETER
2007-05-22 15:16:05 · answer #4 · answered by ROY LAMAR H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, you are not going to change an addict. Unless, you have a degree in psychology minoring in addictions. Professional help is the only way to manage addiction. Addiction is managed not cured.
2007-05-22 15:02:47 · answer #5 · answered by Lily 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Intervention,please.
A solitary pleasure that leaves you to
your own devices.
Some type of 12 step program,so you won't be
a computer widow.
2007-05-22 15:08:12 · answer #6 · answered by starrdevine 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's better than addictive to chat! You are lucky.
2007-05-22 15:03:58 · answer #7 · answered by Weerapat P. 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
most people do not give up addictions they merely switch to another one...give him something else to be addicted to - like sex...
2007-05-22 15:02:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
are you seeking him to have personal time with you? if you really want his attention, sex is a good one. sex or online gaming? give him this choice and lets see which one he takes. im an online gamer too but if given the choice of sex or online, i would take sex almost anytime.
2007-05-22 15:27:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
take the internet off. problem solved
2007-05-22 15:02:00 · answer #10 · answered by pjsancha 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋