She was one of those women who were thin and moderately attractive in their youth but since then have become enormous from unfettered appetites.
2007-05-22 14:14:00 · 10 answers · asked by meeko6811 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
NO... the subject of the sentence is SHE not women - therefore the verb has to be singular - Was - not were and the same goes for the second part of the sentence - Had not has.
However, in both parts of the sentence you use passive tense. Avoid the "were" and "have"
It would read much better if you said
"She was one of those women, thin and moderately attractive in her youth, but who became enormous in later years due to her unfettered appetite. "
Much stronger.Pax - C
2007-05-22 14:22:21 · answer #1 · answered by Persiphone_Hellecat 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
She was one of those women who were thin and moderately attractive in their youth; however, they become enormous from their unfettered appetites.
2007-05-23 00:23:09 · answer #2 · answered by afflatus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She was one of those women who were thin and attractive in their youth, but since then, they have become enormous from their unfettered appetites.
2007-05-22 22:44:13 · answer #3 · answered by aximili12hp 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She was one of those women who was thin and moderately attractive in her youth, but since then has become enormous from unfettered appetities.
2007-05-22 21:53:10 · answer #4 · answered by hpink 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, I have been an editor and also been subjected to a great deal of editing and rewriting. I think you have a nugget of an idea. I would revise the sentence as follows:
Once thin and moderately attractive in her youth, she was one of those women whose unfettered appetites result in repulsive middle age spread.
2007-05-22 21:34:54 · answer #5 · answered by Beach Saint 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She was a woman that were thin in her youth. Since then , she has become enormous from her unfettered appetite.
2007-05-22 21:25:29 · answer #6 · answered by ann m 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
"from their unfettered appetites"
2007-05-22 21:17:29 · answer #7 · answered by Sugar Cookie 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think it's passable as is.
2007-05-22 21:19:23 · answer #8 · answered by jsardi56 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Aiqs8JzQs56rh2A2Eink_j3sy6IX?qid=20070522180829AABBBrj
2007-05-22 21:23:18 · answer #9 · answered by =] Nenalicious 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest, "had become..."
2007-05-22 21:18:34 · answer #10 · answered by steve_geo1 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋